Miley Citrus

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Just an off the top of my head prediction for the next 24 months: Tabloid bonanza --> sex video --> public meltdown --> seclusion --> Oprah --> tell-all memoir --> huge profits.
 
I just posted this in the Breaking bad thread so It's sort of a double post, but I thought it was too fitting to no be in this thread


*** Hank and Marie Watch Miley *** SPOILER ALERT: don't watch if you are still waiting to see the last episode.

 
Last edited by a moderator:
I've got a full-on rant on the back burner that Im just begging to unleash. Let me know if you all think you can handle it on the Miley front and Ill release it like a flock of doves.
 
Ok, here goes. *pant pant*

I am firmly and completely on Miley's side this time and as a rule. Below are just a few reasons why.

Firstly, her father is a scumbag. I'll get to his crappy parenting in a moment, I mean he has damaged me personally. I credit him with making much of my early pre-teen years less pleasant with that yeehaw goat-boinking pop crap he called a song. I couldnt go to school, go to the store, or go to my redneck aunt's place without hearing that ear-sodomy "achy breaky" Every time I see his stupid stupid mulleted head I feel a certain degree of rage, and I wish I could beat him into a coma with his guitar ala Wayne Ferris (the Honky Tonk Man). Screw him and his moose-knuckle tight pants and his wrinkly six-pack abs and his lack of talent and the millions of dollars he made abusing the air waves.

Further, screw him for debasing his daughter. First he pimped her out to Disney, who put her on a production schedule that would drive most adults to develope a combination roxy/meth habit. Normal life? Normal high school experience? Not for her! I'm sure daddy did just fine on the back of her labors though... so there's that. When her star was rising and he was all but an unpleasant memory he then decided to strip her not-even-legal-in-Mexico behind down to almost nothing and pose with her in a magazine. I think it was Vanity Fair. Everyone involved in that embarrassment (excluding our victim) down to the guy who sweeped the set afterwards should be ashamed of themselves.

And then she grows up, cuts off her Hannah Montana hair and explores... oh... creating some sort of personal identity. The horrors, she smoked a joint! She was seen exploring some of the trappings of adult sexuality (as an adult... as opposed to the child sexuality explored in her dad's photo shoot before she was old enough to give consent to a racy photo shoot with a guy NOT her father)! She used some profanity! Feh. We as a nation liked her just fine when she was a cog in the Disney machine and now she is "skanky" for lashing out at dear old dad and finding herself as an adult? GRRR.

I saw her "performance" (yeah it was pretty bad) as refreshing in that I hope her scumbag father squirmed in his seat like a poker player sitting on a ace-high flush. Screw him.

And... lastly... I am the guy who thought Natalie Portman was hottest when she shaved her head in V. I am aware I have problems, I have seen all the best shrinks. Let me say, without prejudice; if I wasnt married, I had millions of dollars, no beer gut and all my hair... the things I would do with Miley would make the baby Jesus cry. The creativity and innovation I would exhibit would be unmatched outside some earlier issues of "Popular Mechanics".

In short... skanky or not (and perhaps because thereof)... I think she is pretty freaking hot.

I just hope she doesnt go Lindsay Lohan on us anytime soon.
 
I apologize for my "NOT HOT" rant in light of Creamy's sympathy. "NOT HOT" should be OK when someone tries so hard to become a sex object, but, as Creamy points out, it is the dip **** ********* she calls "daddy" that is to blame.
 
He gets 100 points just for the use of the term "ear-sodomy"

I'm going to have to use that sometime. :eek:
 
I will agree with the fact that while she may have once (wittingly or not) been a role model as a little girl, by no means is she contractually bound to maintain role model status for the remainder of her life. She's an adult now and free to make whatever choices she wants, good or bad. Hopefully she has some voice of reason in her life to rein her in before she goes full-Lohan. Parents, if you didn't like what you saw, use it as a teaching experience for your kids.

Also, I must be lucky that I never had any traumatic experience with "Achy Breaky Heart". I remember hearing it on the radio, but not ad nauseum. I grew up on Grunge :rockin:

F Billy Ray anyway though.
 
What happened to the days when musicians put out good music, played it with their clothes on, then either OD'd, died in a car/plane crash, or faded into obscurity?

Here's the big problem I see with the Miley situation. Same problem with Britney, Christina, Gaga, etc. These are artists who develop a following in the preteens, tweens. The "artist" (disclaimer : term used sarcastically) then pulls their clothes off on stage and dances around like a 10 cent whore, grinding on the Foot Locker guy. This gives kids, whose dimwit, no-backbone, i-want-to-be-my-kids'-best-friend parents allow them to idolize this bullsh*t, the idea that that's cool.

If musicians that are 100 times as talented as Miley can choke on their own vomit (John Bonham, and also one of the many Spinal Tap drummers), why can't she?
 
I have nothing against Miley, other than I thought her show on Disney was AWFUL...

But that performance on the VMAs SUCKED! Wife and I watched it last night and I actually felt bad for her. I get the whole "gotta do something outrageous to advance the old career" thing, but I think she was just trying too hard. It would be different if there was some talent being displayed, or at least something interesting or original. It was just very lame.

So looking forward to her sex video though...
 
I felt that this scenario warranted me making a meme...

3vm3vl.jpg
 
CreamyGoodness said:
And... lastly... I am the guy who thought Natalie Portman was hottest when she shaved her head in V. I am aware I have problems, I have seen all the best shrinks. Let me say, without prejudice; if I wasnt married, I had millions of dollars, no beer gut and all my hair... the things I would do with Miley would make the baby Jesus cry. The creativity and innovation I would exhibit would be unmatched outside some earlier issues of "Popular Mechanics".

In short... skanky or not (and perhaps because thereof)... I think she is pretty freaking hot.

I just hope she doesnt go Lindsay Lohan on us anytime soon.
Click to expand...

Not long ago, I saw a pic of Miley when she still had hair. She looked pretty damn good, I think it is the stupid haircut (which gets worse every day)that ruins her. She needs to hit a wig shop for a while before the only guys that think she's hot are the same guys that thought Natalie Portman looked good bald!:) Just kidding man, but seriously, what's wrong with you? Don't try to tell me Sigourney Weaver looked best with head shaved too because that is just plain WRONG!!!!
 
Homercidal said:
I have nothing against Miley, other than I thought her show on Disney was AWFUL...

But that performance on the VMAs SUCKED! Wife and I watched it last night and I actually felt bad for her. I get the whole "gotta do something outrageous to advance the old career" thing, but I think she was just trying too hard. It would be different if there was some talent being displayed, or at least something interesting or original. It was just very lame.

So looking forward to her sex video though...
Click to expand...

I will see what I can do tonight. You would think that someone seeking so much attention on stage wouldn't get so shy when a camera is pulled out behind closed doors.
 
And she seems capable of making the type of poor career choices that could lead to something like Showgirls 2.
 
BinghamtonEd said:
What happened to the days when musicians put out good music, played it with their clothes on, then either OD'd, died in a car/plane crash, or faded into obscurity?

Here's the big problem I see with the Miley situation. Same problem with Britney, Christina, Gaga, etc....
Click to expand...

Neither Christina nor Gaga had any sort of implosion you speak of. Christina Agulieri has managed to rise from her Disney days to making 10 mil a year on the "the voice", as well as making a brand for herself..no breakdown ever or in sight.

If you thing Gaga's public persona is a sign of mental instability or impending implosion, I have a bridge to sell you. She is riding that pony all the way to the bank.

Britney I will grant you...
 
broadbill said:
Neither Christina nor Gaga had any sort of implosion you speak of. Christina Agulieri has managed to rise from her Disney days to making 10 mil a year on the "the voice", as well as making a brand for herself..no breakdown ever or in sight.

If you thing Gaga's public persona is a sign of mental instability or impending implosion, I have a bridge to sell you. She is riding that pony all the way to the bank.

Britney I will grant you...
Click to expand...

The problem is not the implosion, I didn't speak of that, read it again. I didn't say Christina or Gaga had an implosion. Nor did I say make any correlation between Gaga's on-stage persona and mental illness, I don't have any idea where you got that. I merely pointed out the problem when scantily clad sexist behavior is coupled with impressionable minds and bad parenting.
 
Honestly, and maybe I need to figure this out before I become a dad, but I never really understood the idea of the role model as its portrayed typically. That person is an adult behaving as an adult. You cant behave the way he or she does because you arent an adult... whether or not it is right is part 2 of the question.

I got in trouble as a kid because my dad was working with a real yutz. I was on the jobsite with him and the guy opened up with something truly ignorant and vulgar (racist if Im not mistaken). I countered with "wow, that was crudely put. You must be so proud." I was absolutely right... but I was a kid and he was an adult. I think I was banned from nintendo for a while.

If Miley/Christina/Britney want to dry hump a weimaraner on stage they can because they are old enough to make such a decision. Also... secondly... its the wrong thing to do...
 
All I have to say is I have NEVER seen an Azz fold like that.


...and put the effing tounge back in your mouth, ya dirty who-ar.
 
CreamyGoodness said:
Further, screw him for debasing his daughter. First he pimped her out to Disney, who put her on a production schedule that would drive most adults to develope a combination roxy/meth habit. Normal life? Normal high school experience? Not for her! I'm sure daddy did just fine on the back of her labors though... so there's that. When her star was rising and he was all but an unpleasant memory he then decided to strip her not-even-legal-in-Mexico behind down to almost nothing and pose with her in a magazine. I think it was Vanity Fair. Everyone involved in that embarrassment (excluding our victim) down to the guy who sweeped the set afterwards should be ashamed of themselves.
Click to expand...

I'm not so sure it was her father. I remember seeing an interview with him during his 'Achy Breaky' days. He's a dolt. I mean REALLY STUPID.

I don't tknow if he has enough brain power to put all the stuff you mentioned in motion by himself. Maybe Mom???
 
JonM said:
Just an off the top of my head prediction for the next 24 months: Tabloid bonanza --> sex video --> public meltdown --> seclusion --> Oprah --> tell-all memoir --> huge profits.
Click to expand...

Fingers crossed on that one.
 
BinghamtonEd said:
What happened to the days when musicians put out good music, played it with their clothes on, then either OD'd, died in a car/plane crash, or faded into obscurity?

Here's the big problem I see with the Miley situation. Same problem with Britney, Christina, Gaga, etc. These are artists who develop a following in the preteens, tweens. The "artist" (disclaimer : term used sarcastically) then pulls their clothes off on stage and dances around like a 10 cent whore, grinding on the Foot Locker guy. This gives kids, whose dimwit, no-backbone, i-want-to-be-my-kids'-best-friend parents allow them to idolize this bullsh*t, the idea that that's cool.

If musicians that are 100 times as talented as Miley can choke on their own vomit (John Bonham, and also one of the many Spinal Tap drummers), why can't she?
Click to expand...

Ok, I'm not defending Miley Citrus here. But you have to be kidding me about the good old days when musicians wore clothes right?

Ignoring the 80s where everyone in a hairband or metal band was shirtless at one point (had to shot the tats and abs like a badass)

morrison-cross-25-1-s.jpg


Bruce-Springsteen-shirtless1.jpg


I don't want to bog this thread down with hundreds of photos of revered musicians with clothes off, but the point is that sexuality has been a part of music since it began.

Also you totally misclassified Gaga, she didn't become popular until her early 20s. She's a totally different monster. She goes for more shock than being overtly sexual. Also I'm still debating if she's not just a giant performance art piece. Wouldn't shock me since if you heard what she did before being famous it was really good and not pop or anything like she does now.
 
Speaking of vma's, anyone hear what Dave Grohl said about making music on computers and not from the heart.


Pretty much sums up today's "music"
 

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