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I have become the person who needs to have things all set a certain way in the dishwasher, or don't involve me in it at all.
Living in rentals for years has shown me that a dishwasher is not a magic box that is guaranteed to get everything clean every time you load dishes, touch a dial or a couple buttons, and 2 hours later produces pristine dishes. You gotta check the dishes before you put them away. There isn't much worse than absentmindedly pouring yourself some OJ and you drink half a glass before finding that cup was dirty.
Also, in most dishwashers there are several compartments to put silverware in. Don't jam it all into the fewest compartments possible.
Also also, leave some space around the plates, bowls, saucepans, etc. if you have bowls that are stacked together within the dishwasher, something isn't going to get clean.
and pre-rinse fresh squeezed lemondrop martini glasses
and oatmeal bowls
and chopped garlic on knives (but you should wash knives by hand anyway)
and random bits of cilantro