If you could have any object turned into a tap handle, what would it be?

[LakewoodBrew]

Get creative with where you put the threaded insert... Or how you position them... Could make for some interesting conversations... You could also threaten to use some of your kids doll's heads, or other parts, for tap handles when they're bad... Just be prepared to pay for their 'therapy' later. :rockin:

LakewoodBrew, if you want to scout the area for me, that would be cool... I was thinking of using fake ones, that were much smaller, so that I could space them closer together. Plus, I'd want to make sure they would be strong enough to withstand many years of use.

I'm sure Therapy is in the cards. Probably on both sides of this conversation.

 

[Golddiggie]

I'm sure Therapy is in the cards. Probably on both sides of this conversation.

Not on this side... I'm more in line with R. Lee Ermey's school of therapy... Shoot all the commie watermellons!! :rockin: Plus, belt fed happiness.

 

[GroosBrewz]

I like the Sesame Street idea. I really would've thought that by now, Sesame would be "retro".. I saw it the other day on television, still going strong, still the same damn actors and characters on the show that were there when I watched it in the 70's.. Guess it will never be "retro" if it keeps going on..

 

[GroosBrewz]

I got it.. I have 4 taps.. One Freddy Krueger, One Jason Vorhees, One Michael Myers, and the last one Leatherface from Chainsaw Massacre....... And if I had room I would throw in a Gremlin just for fun....

 

[arturo7]

Maybe the three monkeys with a fourth one added, Drink No Evil.

 

[GroosBrewz]

Maybe the three monkeys with a fourth one added, Drink No Evil.

Nice....

 

[rdwj]

Anything? I'll go with the still beating hearts of my enemies. Those would be a conversation starter for sure.

 

[Golddiggie]

Anything? I'll go with the still beating hearts of my enemies. Those would be a conversation starter for sure.

Could make pouring a decent pint more difficult though... Unless you encase them in something, then it's more interesting...

 

[Golddiggie]

Maybe the three monkeys with a fourth one added, Drink No Evil.

But evil can taste soooo goooooood

 

[TXCrash]

or

I'd get banned for posting any more of doc johnson's line...

 

[brewmonk]

i'mm not commenting on the multi-digit love clubs.

what about a bull horn, or an old powder horn *(that would already have a wooden base fitted to it)

 

[LakewoodBrew]

How about a sleek Black tapered cylinder with a smooth glossy finish.

 

[Golddiggie]

Fake stick of dynamite for your 'hop bomb'??

 

[brewmonk]

that'd be funnt, a green stick of tnt, and a priming cap

 

[arturo7]

Fake stick of dynamite for your 'hop bomb'??

Maybe 4 sticks taped together with a timer.

 

[LakewoodBrew]

How about a novelty plastic poo for that experimental brew that didn't turn out so great.

 

[Golddiggie]

that'd be funnt, a green stick of tnt, and a priming cap

Whatever color you like... I know they have different colored sticks in use today... So maybe a green one, red one and yellow one... Research the markings to make it as accurate as possible. For the old one, make a fake fuse you would put a match to. The others could use more like blasting caps.

Could put new meaning to 'getting lit'...

arturo7, only 4 sticks?? Could also use some silly putty, or something, to make some fake C4/Semtex for that... Make a fake digital timer on it, that's actually a real clock... Or counting up from when it was kegged.

LakewoodBrew, I think the poo handle was mentioned earlier. Someone was going to use something the dog left in the yard (I wouldn't go near that with a 20' pole)... Fake turds, or puke could be for that batch that wasn't quite as planned...

Could also use a bedpan... Just make sure it's clean first...

Industrial toilet flush handles could work too...

 

[Homercidal]

Ok, I'm so making a sticks of dynamite Hop Bomb tap handle. Well, at least I'll add it to my list of things to do...

 

[Jota21]

Trophy toppers make pretty cool conversation pieces...

SWMBO stumbled across a few for $.25 each and thought they were funny, so she bought them and asked what we could do with them. Obviously, i thought of tap handles.

We went to home depot and found a small section of wood in the railing aisle, painted it black, put an insert in the bottom and drilled a hole in the top. Each topper just drops down into the hole and fits nice and snug, but you just have to pull it out and you can swap them in 2 seconds. A scrap piece of 2x4 and the same drill bit make a handy display rack!

Also, you'll see in the picture, the hockey puck that I used to use, and plan on rotating back in regularly.

And, I know i posted it a few posts ago, but I'm including a picture of our hallween handle so that I can have all of mine together.

 

[bad coffee]

Old kegerator:
https://cdn.homebrewtalk.com/gallery/data/1/medium/IMG_02731.jpg

New one, I'll take some pics later.

tap handles are 3/8-16 threads. ANYTHING with a 3/8" fitting will work. Mickey has a 4" bolt through his neck to the tap.

The mic has an actual mic-thread adapter on it. The one that comes with just about every mic to adapt the thread from 'mic stand' to 3/8. I also screw/glue/epoxy/weld these fittings into anything I want to make into a tap handle.

The Lady would get angry if I used her "toy" as a tap handle.

B

 

[JebCkr]

Someone may have already posted it, but an old gear shifter would be cool.

 

[brewmcq]

My SWMBO wants to get some of those "make your own dildo" kits and present replicas of my member as tap handles.

Then again, she's not quite right in the head...

 

[Homercidal]

Someone may have already posted it, but an old gear shifter would be cool.

That my plan. I want to get a new shift knob for the mustang and use the original on my kegerator. Long range plan is to upgrade the 3-speed to a 5-speed, so the original is not going to be a "fit" at that point anyway.

 

[the_bird]

My SWMBO wants to get some of those "make your own dildo" kits and present replicas of my member as tap handles.

Then again, she's not quite right in the head...

Wouldn't really give you a lot of grab onto, would it?

 

[arturo7]

Someone may have already posted it, but an old gear shifter would be cool.

It would be great to make every gear a different beer.

 

[brewmcq]

Wouldn't really give you a lot of grab onto, would it?

Well, since those little black plastic handles work, I don't see why my member wouldn't...

 

[beerkrump]

Well, since those little black plastic handles work, I don't see why my member wouldn't...

So, they're about the same size?

 

[brewmcq]

Nope. I think the little black plastic things are longer.

:-D

 

[bad coffee]

Here's my current 5. Well, 6 because The Lady bought me a hand blown glass handle for christmas this year.

 

[bad coffee]

It would be great to make every gear a different beer.

gear shifters are the same exact thread as a tap handle.

B

 

[arturo7]

gear shifters are the same exact thread as a tap handle.

B

That's the easy part. It would take one helluva manifold/valve system to pull it off.

 

[GroosBrewz]

My buddy turned an old school 80's "Madball" into a tap handle.. and it's the bomb!
He used the "Screamin' Meemie" madball.. He pumped the hollow ball full of some kind of foam insulation and it worked beautifully..

http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl...16BTuz2A7PSiAKn8a2kDQ&ved=0CEkQ9QEwBQ&dur=585

 

[Homercidal]

My buddy turned an old school 80's "Madball" into a tap handle.. and it's the bomb!
He used the "Screamin' Meemie" madball.. He pumped the hollow ball full of some kind of foam insulation and it worked beautifully..

http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl...16BTuz2A7PSiAKn8a2kDQ&ved=0CEkQ9QEwBQ&dur=585

Damn! I remember those things! I'm getting old.

 

[clamflats]

snake heads to describe how hard the beverage will hit you Skeeter Pee would definitely be given the Green Momba as Ive seen too many people bitten by it passed out

 

[MW66]

Bill Belichick's head.

 

[mcwilcr]

Buddy Christ from Dogma would make a cool tap handle.

 

[ceannt]

What is the standard size/thread for a tap handle?????

 

[h22lude]

Bill Belichick's head.

Yes!!! Or Brady's arm holding a football

 

[Homercidal]

Yes!!! Or Brady's arm holding a football

Or a defender's arm catching Brady's pass!

 

[Golddiggie]

what is the standard size/thread for a tap handle?????

3/8-16