Now I have to kill my wife...

[MeatyPortion]

Today I decided to brew up a nice bitter so I start cleaning all my stuff; I go to the basement work sink and there's a 5 gallon bucket in it, half way full of some light brown water or something. I figure it's a mop bucket and start pouring it down the drain. I start to see little pieces of evergreen leaves. Strange, I think, that there would be evergreen leaves in this mop bucket and what is that smell...

The smell hits me. It's ****. I suddenly remember that the wife puts our dog's **** in a bucket and then pours it down one of the toilets. But why in the name of **** is this bucket in the sink???

Now I have to disinfect far more than I thought. Who the hell buckets **** and then puts it in the basement??

 

[homeslice]

Good job. Your thread title just put you on the FBI watch list.

 

[brewmonk]

yeah, the k-word may be a little strong (but it DID get me curious), is there a doghouse she can join all the other (usually) husbands in tonight?

 

[shunt1317]

. Who the hell buckets **** and then puts it in the basement??

This is a question I cannot even begin to answer.....

 

[MBasile]

Why would you even bring the **** into the house? It goes from yard to scooper to bag to TRASH!

 

[Coastarine]

Why not just bag it individually, label it, organize it by date, and put it in a freezer? That's what I do.


WACKO.

 

[arturo7]

speechless...

 

[JONNYROTTEN]

Time to get a fish...and a new sink

 

[homeslice]

You should have saved it for the crumby neighbors. Nothing is "sh!ttier" than a rock hard dog **** through their livingroom window at midnight hours.

 

[Steelers77]

Why Why Why?

 

[mordantly]

You should have saved it for the crumby neighbors. Nothing is "sh!ttier" than a rock hard dog **** through their livingroom window at midnight hours.

you dirty rat. what is more chicken-schitt than messing with another man's auutomobile? nothing. but messing with his house is second. i'll shoot yo' ass if you defile either of mine!

 

[jiggs_casey]

lol, that's a bit off... why not just flush it straightaway?

 

[DeathBrewer]

Why not just throw it in a bag in the garbage outside, where it should stay? **** should not come in the house. It needs to immediately get flushed or stay outside.

Ick...

 

[brewmonk]

no, its only fair to let the heartworms get their fair share of pooltime.

 

[MeatyPortion]

Ok, I got the beer made but goddamn...

 

[mordantly]

id change the locks on the shop/basement/office/studys

 

[babalu87]

Who the hell buckets **** and then puts it in the basement??

A: Meaty Portions Wife

 

[Wade E]

Are you sure that wasnt your primary bucket???????????? Thats going to be some ****ty Ale!

 

[Bernie Brewer]

I'm assuming that your lovely SWMBO is worried about bagging the, uh, poo and having it sit indefinitely in a landfill in a plastic bag. Have her bag the stuff in the original container in which you bought it- in the dog food bag. I'm pretty sure they're biodegradable.


And I sure hope that it wasn't a brewing bucket that she used!

 

[MeatyPortion]

I only use glass carboys

 

[Ashz]

Why not just bag it individually, label it, organize it by date, and put it in a freezer? That's what I do.


WACKO.

WINNER
/Thread Over

 

[Yuri_Rage]

I can help you rename this thread to "Creative uses for my wife's toothbrush."

 

[babalu87]

I only use glass carboys

How the hell does she pack the **** into a carboy?

I have a hard enough time with whole hops.

What kind of dog is it because if its a Lab or a freakin Irish Wolfhound she needs to patent that technique

 

[Doc Robinson]

I would just make a Brown Ale.

 

[Fingers]

Maybe we can coin a new phrase?

"I drank waaaay too much last night. I feel like the contents of MeatyPortion's sink."

or

"Well, I'll be dipped in MeatyPortion's bucket!"

 

[Bdogg]

I can grasp putting the poo in a bucket. What I don't understand is part where water and evergreen leaves are added.

 

[MeatyPortion]

She collects up the dog crap and cuts it with water so that it won't clog up the toilet when she flushes it. I told her last night that we're throwing it in the dumpster from now on, no discussion.

 

[JesseRC]

She collects up the dog crap and cuts it with water so that it won't clog up the toilet when she flushes it. I told her last night that we're throwing it in the dumpster from now on, no discussion.

So your doggy poop is bigger than your own poop???

 

[MeatyPortion]

That dog is humongous.

 

[arturo7]

Meaty's wife collects
the shvt that their dog ejects
stores it in the sink

 

[conpewter]

I'm assuming that your lovely SWMBO is worried about bagging the, uh, poo and having it sit indefinitely in a landfill in a plastic bag. Have her bag the stuff in the original container in which you bought it- in the dog food bag. I'm pretty sure they're biodegradable.


And I sure hope that it wasn't a brewing bucket that she used!

Brilliant! Then you simply re-feed it to the dog, you don't have to spend money on food, and you've solved that poo disposal issue!

I'm actually composting my dog's leavings. I have a 55 gallon barrel with the bottom cut out and the top removable. I throw in some grass now and then, but generally hasn't smelled too bad (especially with the top on, no smell). I just hope it takes at least a year or two to fill up the barrel so the bottom is reasonably composted, darn great danes.

This article looks useful as well, maybe I'll bury the barrel like they did hmm.

http://www.instructables.com/id/Big-Dog-Poop-Composter/

 

[MeatyPortion]

Bookmarked it, but I don't think that will work as our yard is small enough as it is.

 

[uglygoat]

This is a question I cannot even begin to answer.....

i stopped reading here, has zul'jin posted in this thread?

 

[MeatyPortion]

I drank some of my malt and wort last night if that counts.

 

[Laughing_Gnome_Invisible]

Sorry, I didn't read this thread at all.....not a jot.


The killing the wife part in the OP, is that for real? I need a pretty corpse for a sculpture I am working on. Please post pics if possible. Breast size would be helpfull information too.

By the way, I'm not a weirdo, this is a seriouis enquiry.

 

[MeatyPortion]

I'll get back to you on that, good sir.

 

[MeatyPortion]

I guess I should go down and take some pictures of the beer. It's fermenting like crazy so far.

 

[MeatyPortion]

Here's the beer: Thames river Bitter. It started fermenting pretty well after about 6 hours.

 

[springer]

So what are ya gunna do with the hooker in the freezer since you need to make room now.

 

[MeatyPortion]

The hooker's in the landfill.