Men who sit to pee

[Psylocide]

Sometimes I am on the fence. Sometimes I need an excuse to take a break from work and read a book. Sometimes I think it's just flatulence, but it's a little something extra. Sometimes I just need to relax and get off my feet.

I will say that if you enter a stall to micturate, either lift the f*%#%^ seat, or pee sitting down.

If you're one of those gross people that poop in public, you deserve to wipe my drops off the seat before you sit down.

 

[wardens355]

If you're one of those gross people that poop in public, you deserve to wipe my drops off the seat before you sit down.

You are the bane of my existence, Mr. Spray-Nozzle, otherwise referred to as He-Who-Cannot-Aim.

 

[drainbamage]

If you're one of those gross people that poop in public, you deserve to wipe my drops off the seat before you sit down.

You pee all over the seat on purpose, don't you?

 

[ArkotRamathorn]

You are the bane of my existence, Mr. Spray-Nozzle, otherwise referred to as He-Who-Cannot-Aim.

As much as this makes me wish I was a serial killer, its not as bad as some of the stories I've heard about women's bathrooms with poop smear/period blood on the toilet seats.

Also whats wrong with public bathroom poopers? When you gotta poop, you gotta poop.

 

[GilaMinumBeer]

Also whats wrong with public bathroom poopers? When you gotta poop, you gotta poop.

Apparently, he won't stand for it.

(badump, ting!)

 

[Psylocide]

As much as this makes me wish I was a serial killer, its not as bad as some of the stories I've heard about women's bathrooms with poop smear/period blood on the toilet seats.

Also whats wrong with public bathroom poopers? When you gotta poop, you gotta poop.

Excellent planning on my part has resulted in going ~7 years without crapping in a public bathroom like a savage.

 

[wardens355]

As much as this makes me wish I was a serial killer, its not as bad as some of the stories I've heard about women's bathrooms with poop smear/period blood on the toilet seats.

Also whats wrong with public bathroom poopers? When you gotta poop, you gotta poop.

I poop in most public bathrooms, the notable exception being music festival port-o-johns. They are hot, covered in urine, smell disgusting, often have fecal matter smeared hither-tither, and the worst ones are full up as to be threatening contact with one's manhood. Music festivals require strategic pooping strategies, which will be the topic of my next self-help guide. There are many public restrooms that are actually quite pleasant, especially the dedicated single-users with sink. One at my work is actually quite amusing, because they decided to put a sign in it saying "Is the person next to you washing their hands". It's a single, so I assume they planned it to be a location for intra-office romance.

 

[Fedora]

Ya'll make sure to wipe from front to back. Don't wanna get a bladder infection.

 

[GilaMinumBeer]

Excellent planning on my part has resulted in going ~7 years without crapping in a public bathroom like a savage.

9 hours a day, at least 5 days a week, and you've not pooped at work in 7 years?

 

[Psylocide]

9 hours a day, at least 5 days a week, and you've not pooped at work in 7 years?

No sir. I go home for lunch every day... 7 min commute.

 

[Jcruse]

Ya'll make sure to wipe from front to back. Don't wanna get a bladder infection.

It's still early, but I'd say you just won the internet for the day...

 

[Rolsom]

What does it matter how you do it as long as you get it done and enjoy the results?


Ooops, forgot this was not a why don't you brew it this way thread.

 

[firerat]

No sir. I go home for lunch every day... 7 min commute.

Pinching a loaf at work is how I start everyday.

I thought peeing standing up was one of the joys of being a man.

 

[Komodo]

Excellent planning on my part has resulted in going ~7 years without crapping in a public bathroom like a savage.

There's an app for that.

 

[hunter_le five]

Hows about women who stand to pee? We got any of those?

 

[GilaMinumBeer]

Hows about women who stand to pee? We got any of those?

Female Urinal. It really is a thing.

 

[drainbamage]

Hows about women who stand to pee? We got any of those?

Pretty sure I remember Yooper talking about writing her name in the snow once.

 

[GilaMinumBeer]

Pretty sure I remember Yooper talking about writing her name in the snow once.

She used Bobs pen.

 

[Homercidal]

9 hours a day, at least 5 days a week, and you've not pooped at work in 7 years?

I save it up FOR work! It's an easy excuse to get a break in between breaks!

 

[hunter_le five]

I save it up FOR work! It's an easy excuse to get a break in between breaks!

THIS.

If I poop at home, I'm pooping on my own time.

If I poop at work, I'm being PAID to poop.

 

[Gavin C]

THIS.


If I poop at work, I'm being PAID to poop.

Paid by the yard, displacement tons, bushel? Is the rate in line with industry standards?

 

[TheMadKing]

I grew up peeing outdoors more than indoors, so I think I have better than average aim. Never sit to pee. Never.

 

[IrregularPulse]

Holy cow. You had to remodel not only 1, but 2 bathrooms because of uring smellz? You sir, have to be the worst aimer and laziest cleaner-upper I've ever heard of. I'll pee sitting if I'm too drunk to stand or half asleep in the middle of the night and don't want to turn the light on. Other than that, I take full advantage of have a penis.

 

[IrregularPulse]

I grew up peeing outdoors more than indoors, so I think I have better than average aim. Never sit to pee. Never.

I would think if you grew up peeing outdoors more foten, you'd thus have worse aim. Not a lot of call for aiming when outside.

 

[j1n]

At home. Middle of night. Half asleep. SIT...

This^

mainly cause i dont want to turn the lights on to see where im peeing.

 

[TheMadKing]

I would think if you grew up peeing outdoors more foten, you'd thus have worse aim. Not a lot of call for aiming when outside.

My pee-handwriting in the snow is better than my actual penmanship, plus how else was I supposed to kill ants?

magnifying glasses are so 1960

 

[Homercidal]

I would think if you grew up peeing outdoors more foten, you'd thus have worse aim. Not a lot of call for aiming when outside.

No doubt. When I pee outside, I'm coating EVERYTHING I can reach in warm, humid urine.

Drown, ants!

 

[BrewerBrad82]

We are a classy bunch, arent we?

 

[Psylocide]

I save it up FOR work! It's an easy excuse to get a break in between breaks!

What is "break?"

 

[IrregularPulse]

Unnecessary planning on my part has resulted in going ~7 years of having to schedule my social life around pooping.

 

[hunter_le five]

My pee-handwriting in the snow is better than IrregularPulse's typing skills.

Troo.

 

[Psylocide]

Hey man, feel free to sit on a toilet that has met no less than 50 pairs of sweaty asscheeks and stew in everyone else's stank nuggets.

Go ahead and smear your ****ty cake with 100% recycled-phone-book 1-ply.

Doesn't bother me any.

 

[GilaMinumBeer]

Paid by the yard, displacement tons, bushel? Is the rate in line with industry standards?

Lineal feet or decimal liter depending on braxton scale

I would think if you grew up peeing outdoors more foten, you'd thus have worse aim. Not a lot of call for aiming when outside.

Which definition of foten? Norwegian or Latin?

We are a classy bunch, arent we?

Some of us are prosit to pee, some of us are antisit to pee.

Personally, I situ pee every time.

 

[PlexVector]

Deep, too!

and muddy...

 

[b-boy]

Reads the title of the thread......Good lord I'm in the WEIRD part of the forum again....

Where's the un-weird part of the forum? I've never been there.

 

[GilaMinumBeer]

Hey man, feel free to sit on a toilet that has met no less than 50 pairs of sweaty asscheeks and stew in everyone else's stank nuggets.

Go ahead and smear your ****ty cake with 100% recycled-phone-book 1-ply.

Doesn't bother me any.

FYI, in seven years time they've invented flushable seatcovers and continuous feed cake wrap that allows you to decide the number of plies.

 

[drainbamage]

Where's the un-weird part of the forum? I've never been there.

Sounds like someplace I don't want to be.

 

[b-boy]

Hey man, feel free to sit on a toilet that has met no less than 50 pairs of sweaty asscheeks and stew in everyone else's stank nuggets.

Go ahead and smear your ****ty cake with 100% recycled-phone-book 1-ply.

Doesn't bother me any.

Hmm...I'm guessing you don't go camping.

 

[Psylocide]

Hmm...I'm guessing you don't go camping.

I solo backpack for days on end.

Log + wet wipes = better than any public restroom ever.

 

[PlexVector]

I would think if you grew up peeing outdoors more foten, you'd thus have worse aim. Not a lot of call for aiming when outside.

Oh there's lots of things to aim at:
spiders,
leaves,
trees,
knot holes,
small rocks,
big rocks,
passing birds,
etc...