We're getting off topic. Let's move on.
With things getting a bit snippy, let a dumb Yank's bumbling efforts become a target for your ridicule and derision.
Last year, I decided to revamp my ancient roster of UK-style ales (I say "UK-style" because I'm writing from the US, often working with dubious examples and suspicious sources). Frankly, my old recipes were a mess, each having been independently evolved from my earliest efforts as a brewer, roughly thirty years ago. Individually, they were fine, but they didn't make much sense as a whole and it was unwieldy stocking individual ingredients for each recipe. I was spending more time tracking down specific ingredients than I was swilling UK-style ales.
It was time for a change.
The new roster of UK-style ales was designed to keep things as effortless as possible and my kegs filled with UK-style ale on a whim. The new roster revolves around a core of reliably obtained ingredients: the Fullers and Yorkshire strains, Warminister Otter (it's a nice malt that is $40 cheaper per sack than Crisp or Simpsons), homemade invert, Crisp Amber and Brown, and Simpsons C-malts. I'll use Crisp and Simpsons chocolate and black barley/malt interchangeably. After decades of use, I can't claim a preference between the two and if one is not available the other typically is in stock. EKGs, Fuggles, Target (I
like Target, okay?), and (naturally) Bramling Cross are my core hops.
I present, for your mockery, scorn, and contumely, the two most mature recipes in my new UK-style lineup. Both have been brewed three times and are drinking in line with how I envisioned them. As a clueless Yank, I'm blithely pleased with both recipes--but gnawed by doubt as I stare into my pint and think "Yeah, that's pretty good."
So much of brewing is in the actual
brewing, rather than recipe construction, but I would sincerely appreciate any feedback you're able to tease out from the following recipes.
The first is an ordinary bitter with a bit too much hops on the first pint, but they're still present on the second and third pint. Gordon Strong wouldn't approve, but I like it this way. Also, I'm a dumb Yank so Freedom, hostile driving habits, and hops is always the right answer.
Batch Size: 6 US gal
OG: 1.040 (suck it, BJCP)
FG: 1.009
IBU: IBU 30
85% Warminster Otter
12% Invert #2
3% Medium Crystal--sadly, it is better with the C-malt
1/2oz Midnight Wheat for color
20 IBU of Bramling Cross @ 60
10 IBU of EKG @ 20
1oz of EKG @ KO
.5oz of EKG as keg hops (suck it, CAMRA)
Mash at 148F/65C for 40min, recirculate at 158F/70C for 20min, fly sparge for maximum efficiency because UK malt is suddenly stupidly expensive for a variety of complex reasons.
Fullers or Yorkshire strains, pitch at 63F/17C, let rise to 68F/20C and hold until half gravity, let rise to 72F/22C for the second half of the gravity
The second recipe is a brown porter. It's been twenty years since I've been in the UK and I didn't see a single porter on my many trips, much less a brown one. I don't have the foggiest idea about what a brown porter actually is. I have no justification for calling this a brown porter other than the fact that I read Ron Pattinson a bit too seriously, I've got a thing for brown malt, a suspicion that Gordon Strong pulled this style out of his ass, and I need a name for a dry brown beer that doesn't drink anything like a northern brown ale. I'm very fond of this beer and a keg is lucky to survive a month.
Batch size: 6 US gal
OG: 1.045
FG: 1.010
IBU: 27
73% Warminster Otter
11% Brown Malt
10% Invert #3
4% Chocolate Malt
2% Amber Malt (I tried deleting this, but it actually makes a difference)
1oz Midnight Wheat (for color)
17 IBU Bramling Cross @ 60
10 IBU Bramling Cross @ 20
1oz Fuggles at KO
(.25oz of Bramling Cross keg hops are pleasant, but get in the way of the malt)
Mash at 148F/65C for 40min, recirculate at 158F/70C for 20min, fly sparge for maximum efficiency because UK malt is suddenly stupidly expensive for a complex variety of totally unforeseeable reasons.
Fullers or Yorkshire strains, pitch at 63F/17C, let rise to 68F/20C and hold until half gravity, let rise to 72F/22C for the second half of the gravity
Your jeers, mockery, unpolite gestures, scathing reprimands, and death threats are justified. Honestly, I don't know what I'm doing, but I'm doing my best.