Daughters boyfriends that you hate.

[Ozbrew]

I have three teenage daughters. The eldest brought a "friend" home recently. I had drank a few tallies and was a bit chirpie. I proceeded to tell him about my rifle collection in my shed. 30/06 30/30 243 and 12 gauge. And asked him if he wanted me to show him what a mess they make of feral pigs. Apparently I scared the shiz out of him and he hasn't returned. My daughters virtue is saved for another day. ��

 

[brew703]

I bought a big shiny gun! Not even to fire. Just to clean when my daughter starts bringing home boys!

Yeah, that's old school. A lot of boys hunt these days and are no longer afraid of that gun. I tried it and it didn't work. Wish it would have with the scumbag but he just thought it was funny.
I have this ability where i can determine how a person is by the first impression. I was right on the money with the scumbag ex boyfriend and right so many times after.

 

[Homercidal]

I never said she was afraid of me. But I did misspeak. I'm not scary to her, but to her friends. As in intimidating to them. This has been the subject of many conversations between us and I still don't understand what makes me intimidating. But if that's what it takes to keep her friends (and boyfriends) in line when they're around my house, then so be it.

This is how it is with me. I have no idea why all my kid's friends, and my friend's kids, think I'm scary.

Maybe it's because I don't put up with sht?? One time in particular when the kids were young we had friends over. My friends were leaving and told their son, who was playing with my daughter to help pick up toys so they can go.

And they kept right on playing. I asked my daughter to help pick up toys so they could go. She pretended to not hear me. I start counting down from 3. And as soon as I start counting I'm getting off the couch.

And she jumps up and starts grabbing toys. And my friend's kid jumps up and starts grabbing toys.

We never played that game where you ask them to do something over and over with no punishment! Of course all kids and all people are different. YMMV.

She's currently dating a nice young man with a politeness problem. He's TOO polite! (I don't trust him...)

 

[Dixon9717]

Both of my daughters couldn't get dates in high school I found out later they was considered the girls with the crazy dad. I tried the shotgun thing once. Didn't go well I paid dearly for that ( I don't recommend it). All this is probably why my daughter is doing what she's doing to prove to me that she can do what she wants (outside my house that is). It's time for some tough love and let her fall. We'll just be there to help her pick up the pieces and continue on......

 

[IrregularPulse]

My daughter is 9 mos old now and I am dreading these situations when they come. My wife finds it humorous at this point.
We had some family over and my daughter is enamored with her 4 year old cousin. He would come close to her and she would reach out and hug him in and give him a 'kiss'! Oh the women found it cute, i did not.... just wait i said, that wont be cute 14 years. (and we have feud going after I whoop the boy)
NO KISSING BOYS, EVER!!! Daddy, Papap, and a couple uncles are ok, but No Boys!

I am in for a hellava ride...

Especially if the risk of your daughter getting together with her cousin at 14 is a real concern

I have three teenage daughters. The eldest brought a "friend" home recently. I had drank a few tallies and was a bit chirpie. I proceeded to tell him about my rifle collection in my shed. 30/06 30/30 243 and 12 gauge. And asked him if he wanted me to show him what a mess they make of feral pigs. Apparently I scared the shiz out of him and he hasn't returned. My daughters virtue is saved for another day. ��

Ha. Your daughters virtue while at home is safe. You just scared them off to hang out at his house instead.

I've a 3 year old daughter and also am not looking forward to the teenage years and boyfriends. I've also a 7 year old son and am not looking forward to his teen years any more. True, with a boy, you only have to worry about 1 penis, but with a girl, you only have to worry about 1 womb. :cross: It's a lose/lose IMO.

 

[brew_ny]

it depends on how you look as to how the boyfriends will take your advice

 

[jrgtr42]

No daughters here, just a boy, barely 11 weeks old, so we have a ways to go before starting to worry about that stuff.
My neice, on the other hand, just turned 10, and she's going to be a heartbreaker in a few more years. I've been joking to my brother that he'll be in trouble when she is a teenager, and I don't think I'm joking anymore. For better or worse, my sister-in-law is the principal of her school though (parochial, all the way through high school) so I'm sure there will some eyes on that.
They are also in Arizona, so the firearms thing won't work so well - any suitors will likely have guns of their own.

 

[The_Glue]

It's pretty interesting to see the huge conflict between what girls find hot in a boy versus what the society teaches to boys.
Maybe there is a life lesson here for the younger guys.

 

[radishthegreat]

Both of my daughters couldn't get dates in high school I found out later they was considered the girls with the crazy dad.

Wow, I never considered that my dad might have been the issue...all these years I thought it was me. :cross:

We didn't have 40 acres and a backhoe, but he did have an agreement with a local veterinarian with a lime pit. And he did all the athletic physicals for my school, so he would have had opportunity to tell them all...hrm....

 

[NeoBrew]

I wish I could laugh about this thread...three girls, the oldest is 14.

When the first was a couple years old, I used to joke about buying a motorcycle when she was 13 and leaving until puberty had passed! lol

...somehow I think I would miss my brewing though. Hard to carry a 10 gallon pot and burner on a cycle. And how could I control fermentation temp?

Life is about choices, make good ones to the best of your ability. Then live with no regrets.

 

[jbrace1]

I have 3 boys ages 9-14 and a 3 year old girl. Our goal is to keep them so busy with activities (school, sports, camping, fishing, chores, group activities with friends, church groups) that by the time they have some 'free time' they will be done being driven by their hormones and will (hopefully) be using their brains. I am also counting on the three big brothers to keep the riff raff to a minimun.

My college freshman psychology professor said something that has stuck with me lo these many years (20+): "Teenagers cannot be blamed for their behavior. They are driven purely by hormones that are not under their control".

 

[1977Brewer]

16 and 13 year old girls here. The oldest takes care of her own. She's dated a couple kids but the second there is any pressure to take it past hand holding, they're on the curb. The youngest is going to make me a grandfather very early, I have a feeling. She's a great kid, just gullible as hell and terrible at making split second decisions. I've already had to threaten hellfire on two young men who think sending pics of their junk to a 13 year old is right and proper. Threatened child porn charges against the last one because he had apparently done the same to multiple girls in our church, and is generally a predator. At 15. He's in counseling with our youth pastor weekly, and his Dad finally, after multiple phone calls from myself and other parents, limited his cell to emergency calling only.

Boys suck, especially predatory piece of **** ones.

 

[rxpx40]

My daughter was dating a fella after she was graduated from high school. He was a piece of work. When she finally convinced him to come meet the family he showed up in a 'wife-beater' T-shirt. She tried to convince me he was a 'trust fund' baby and made money in the stock market. Interpreted: Drug dealer.
After several bad situations, (none violent, thank God) she wised up and decided to leave him. Our family's army of dads came to move her out of his daddy's house and the worm wouldn't show his face.
Fast forward a few years- she met and married a cop! He is very good for her and to her. They have rewarded us with the cutest, most smiling grandson in the world. Keep your hopes up, guys..

 

[Araknaphob1c]

My daughter was dating a fella after she was graduated from high school. He was a piece of work. When she finally convinced him to come meet the family he showed up in a 'wife-beater' T-shirt. She tried to convince me he was a 'trust fund' baby and made money in the stock market. Interpreted: Drug dealer.
After several bad situations, (none violent, thank God) she wised up and decided to leave him. Our family's army of dads came to move her out of his daddy's house and the worm wouldn't show his face.
Fast forward a few years- she met and married a cop! He is very good for her and to her. They have rewarded us with the cutest, most smiling grandson in the world. Keep your hopes up, guys..

Not to mention biggest head

 

[Dixon9717]

My oldest daughter was the one I was really worried about in her high school years. That's were I got into some serious trouble with the shotgun incident. After she graduated high school she decided to join the Navy. On Friday she got her drivers license and Monday she shipped off to boot camp. I know pretty chicken **** of me but I was scared. She was the first to drive and a wildchild. Now she's a CNA, going to college and preparing to become a personal trainer. And she was the one that worries me the most, you just never know......

 

[Natdavis777]

I only have a boy, and I dont want him to be that "boy". He is only two, but he is a hoss. His 6 yr old cousin even complains bc Jax (my boy) roughhouses with him too much, but its all in good fun. I couldnt imagine having a girl. Im overprotective of my niece. I have too much ordinance, too much property, and too little patience to deal with a daughter.

Whilst I dont want my son to be that kid, I did my fair share of sneaking in and out of girl's houses when I was in high school.

 

[Calfj60]

I was and to a certain degree still am "that" dad. My daughter who is 21 was and continues to be a great kid. I've been her step-dad since she was 5 but I adopted her last fall right before her 21st birthday. Yes you can adopt adults. I wanted her to be eligible for my benefits and be part of my family's trust.

Now mind you she is 5'4 blonde young lady. Cheerleader since she was 6 and is way more beautiful both on the inside and outside then she knows. Her friends knew I was a cop, but not at home. I was her dad and nothing else. But if they acted the fool then they were treated that way. It's amazing the respect a 14 year old shows when "dad" wasn't happy. Might of had something to do with 6'5 275 comin at you...

Talking with a friend recently and we were discussing raising kids. I wish we knew what all we did right and or wrong but my wife and I were rewarded with an amazing daughter!

 

[beernutz]

This is how it is with me. I have no idea why all my kid's friends, and my friend's kids, think I'm scary.

Maybe it's because I don't put up with sht?? One time in particular when the kids were young we had friends over. My friends were leaving and told their son, who was playing with my daughter to help pick up toys so they can go.

And they kept right on playing. I asked my daughter to help pick up toys so they could go. She pretended to not hear me. I start counting down from 3. And as soon as I start counting I'm getting off the couch.

And she jumps up and starts grabbing toys. And my friend's kid jumps up and starts grabbing toys.

We never played that game where you ask them to do something over and over with no punishment! Of course all kids and all people are different. YMMV.

She's currently dating a nice young man with a politeness problem. He's TOO polite! (I don't trust him...)

Mike Damone from FTatRH.

I have 17 and 21 year old daughters. The oldest dated a scumbag from the time she was 16 until last year when she finally, there is a merciful god, wised up and dumped his ass.

He is a high school dropout who apparently smokes weed constantly and still lives with his parents at 22. He treated my daughter like crap cheated on her and they had huge telephone arguments constantly. She is however pretty strong minded (my wife would say stubborn as a mule just like her father) so she would listen to zero criticism of him from us. The day she finally broke up with him was one of the happiest of my life.

 

[Dixon9717]

Mike,
glad your daughter smartened up. Hoping mine does the same. I'm sure it'll be a long slow painful wait until that day, just hoping its sooner rather then later....

 

[CGVT]

https://youtu.be/qE0mRJlQwUs

 

[Bellybuster]

I consider myself blessed. have a 17 yr old daughter and a 15 yr old daughter.
The oldest is a handful but is dating a nice kid with goals and the drive to attain them.
I thought for sure she would bring home "that kid" just to piss me off. I was quite surprised to meet a good strong willed young man that I hope she keeps around for a while.

 

[DrunkleJon]

Good older brothers can do a lot to save a daughter. Even 'adoptive' older brothers. No kids here, but I helped in the regulation of my little sisters dates. Some of the most effective things that have been done, as well as some experienced through my childhood.

When I was growing up, one of my HS buddies father would buy a new gun each time my buddies sister started dating a new guy. The father would name it after the boyfriend. Then when he met him he would introduce him to the guys. Of course this friend and his sister were kinda hard core and would fence without pads with sharpened rapiers. He ended up with one through his arm once.

I had a shotgun pulled on me once. Didnt scare me near as much as people would think.

With my little sister, the most effective things were when a friend of my brothers took a hold of my sisters prom date (while holding a 22 can of Bud light) and said "Son, whatever you do to her tonight, and dont worry because I will find out, I am doing to you tomorrow."

Other things that weirdly worked well was just me meeting them. I am an easy going guy. Skinny, have weighed 145-155lbs since I was in high school. I am friendly and just kept cordial and would say "you hurt her, I will kill you" calmly and only slightly joking. He told my sister that I scared him. Weirdly my outright hostile brother and father did not scare him.

Of course I look like this

harmless.

 

[Tin4]

I'ma "nice guy".

I always heard "You're so much better than all the other guys she's bringing home.".

I was always like "Damn ____ Dad. How many Dudes we talking about here?".

 

[brewer20D]

I'm a Dad to a set of 17 year old twin girl that Fortunately they don't cause us too much grief. They brought a couple of boy home and I have this little game I like to play with them. I am a avid hunter so I always have ammunition ( shot gun and riffle shells ) I'll put a couple of each in my camo winter hat and ask them to reach in the hat and pick one, then when the pull one out I hand them a sharply and tell them to write there name on it !!!! They get the message....

 

[Psylocide]

I'ma "nice guy".

I always heard "You're so much better than all the other guys she's bringing home.".

I was always like "Damn ____ Dad. How many Dudes we talking about here?".

"Let's see here... carry the three..."

 

[Mismost]

I always took the boys out to the gun club where we would shoot targets, skeet, rifles, pistols, and shotguns. Then I gently mentioned a target of his size, I could hit, moving or standing still. I have a gun and a shovel and know how to use both.

It was fun and I never had a problem with scummy guys. But she did have a couple of really needy boyfriends...insecure jealous wimpy little turds....they were just as bad as the scummy ones. I once went to a kids house at 3:00 in morning, banging on the door and woke up his folks....if the little turd was going to call my house at hours, they may as well stay awake with me! he was not allow back on the place.

But really guys...what upsets us, is we were once horny boyfriends and we KNOW how and what they are thinking!

 

[rawlus]

Dont really believe the dads with guns scares boyfriends away. That's television sit com stuff. Especially don't think it's useful to threaten people who want to date your daughter, that's likely to have side effects on your daughter later.

If you have daughters, best they learn to date so they acquire the necessary experience to make rational choices about who they decide to have babies with and/or marry.

There are enough divorced and/or single moms out there with "daddy issues"

Get over yourselves and think about what sort of woman you want your daughter to grow up to be. Shielding them from important life experiences won't get them there.

 

[Tin4]

"Let's see here... carry the three..."

For some of them you would have too.

I don't mean this negatively, and I really hope people don't see it this way, but I dig trashy chicks. You know the type. Well... some of you know the type. My look is a disguise. Shaved head,clean, neat,employed, all a rouse. I'm here to do stuff to your daughter and I don't want any issues to stem from it.

Dont really believe the dads with guns scares boyfriends away. That's television sit com stuff. Especially don't think it's useful to threaten people who want to date your daughter, that's likely to have side effects on your daughter later.

If you have daughters, best they learn to date so they acquire the necessary experience to make rational choices about who they decide to have babies with and/or marry.

There are enough divorced and/or single moms out there with "daddy issues"

Get over yourselves and think about what sort of woman you want your daughter to grow up to be. Shielding them from important life experiences won't get them there.

Yup. People (I say ambiguously as not to offend) tend to side with victims. If you make your Daughters boyfriend a victim she will side with him.

He's a ******. So were you when you were 17. It's the way life is. She's going to do the same thing most of us do and bang her way to a good one. She's not a possession to be keep in mint condition.

That's life. I hate the idea of a chaste bride. What if you get in there and the sex is bad or her junk's all messed up. Seems like you want to know that before you commit your life to them.

Just sayin'.

 

[Homercidal]

"...or her junk's all messed up"??

I don't believe in "test driving" a woman. It's no indicator of what the sex is going to be like after the wedding. It's entirely possible that sex is "fine" at first and actually gets BETTER over the years. The popular opinion of the day is women actually hit their stride well into their 30's.

Of course everyone is different and YMMV.

Bottom line here is that I don't hate boys for wanting to do things to my daughters. It's a natural urge and after the things I've thought about other fathers' daughters I have nothing to say.

 

[Tin4]

"...or her junk's all messed up"??

I don't believe in "test driving" a woman. It's no indicator of what the sex is going to be like after the wedding. It's entirely possible that sex is "fine" at first and actually gets BETTER over the years. The popular opinion of the day is women actually hit their stride well into their 30's.

I'm not advocating test driving, but serial monogamy till you find "the one". That's all. I actually have a huge personal issue with casual sex. I think it cheapens the experience and provides false expectations.

I'm a romantic though. Can't you tell?

It does get better over time, but there are things that you might be into they just aren't and better to figure that out before hand than spend the rest of your life in desire.

Of course everyone is different and YMMV.

Bottom line here is that I don't hate boys for wanting to do things to my daughters. It's a natural urge and after the things I've thought about other fathers' daughters I have nothing to say.

And that's my point. My wife put it very bluntly once. "You like ____ right? Want a girl that does that? So does every other guy.".

I was all, "Dang.", and decided to just live with it.

 

[beernutz]

I'm not advocating test driving, but serial monogamy till you find "the one". That's all. I actually have a huge personal issue with casual sex. I think it cheapens the experience and provides false expectations.

I'm a romantic though. Can't you tell?

It does get better over time, but there are things that you might be into they just aren't and better to figure that out before hand than spend the rest of your life in desire.



And that's my point. My wife put it very bluntly once. "You like ____ right? Want a girl that does that? So does every other guy.".

I was all, "Dang.", and decided to just live with it.

Aren't there really only two correct answers to that blank, a___ and b_______?

 

[fibonaccisquared]

As a soon to be father of a little girl, this thread has been enlightening... and terrifying. Two weeks or so until delivery... can we call a time out here?

I have jokingly told my wife that she won't be allowed to date until 30, 27 on good behavior. While I realize this is not something that will actually happen, I figured it gives me more room to negotiate and "meet in the middle". I will say the comment about preventing life experiences does have me marginally questioning my thought process though. Keep the thoughts coming, I've got so much to figure out.

 

[Tin4]

As a soon to be father of a little girl, this thread has been enlightening... and terrifying. Two weeks or so until delivery... can we call a time out here?

I have jokingly told my wife that she won't be allowed to date until 30, 27 on good behavior. While I realize this is not something that will actually happen, I figured it gives me more room to negotiate and "meet in the middle". I will say the comment about preventing life experiences does have me marginally questioning my thought process though. Keep the thoughts coming, I've got so much to figure out.

Fear is the mind killer.

 

[SharonaZamboni]

Nobody wants their children to date jerks, and many people are uncomfortable thinking about their teenagers as sexual beings.

Believe it or not, girls think about sex, and lots of them actually LIKE it!
Scaring away a boy won't change that.

Best way to deal with it is to make sure your children are aware of the risks and have access to birth control, condoms, etc.

 

[GHBWNY]

Right after she had her baby we sat down and cleared the air. Earlier this year she tells me that she finally understands why I did what I did when she was younger. Guess she sees how it will be with her own daughter.
Most of the time they will eventually see the light. Hopefully your daughter will do the same.
We, as parents, can only lead them in the right direction and hope they follow. Unfortunately some do and others don't.

I got remarried almost 11 years ago. My three daughters weren't having it and were especially disrespectful to my wife which caused big problems between my daughters and me. But I made it clear that my wife was my first priority and if they wanted to be part of our life, they would have to figure out how they were going to do that. I knew I couldn't 'legislate' a change of heart; it had to happen if and when it was going to. All we could do is pray. And wait. About 2 weeks ago, I got a surprise call from one of them. She asked if my wife was there and to put us both on speakerphone. Then she tearfully asked us to forgive her for her behavior over the past 11 years. And of course, we did.

 

[brew703]

I got remarried almost 11 years ago. My three daughters weren't having it and were especially disrespectful to my wife which caused big problems between my daughters and me. But I made it clear that my wife was my first priority and if they wanted to be part of our life, they would have to figure out how they were going to do that. I knew I couldn't 'legislate' a change of heart; it had to happen if and when it was going to. All we could do is pray. And wait. About 2 weeks ago, I got a surprise call from one of them. She asked if my wife was there and to put us both on speakerphone. Then she tearfully asked us to forgive her for her behavior over the past 11 years. And of course, we did.

It's difficult for anyone to walk into a "ready made" family. My wife's kids were fairly young, 4 and 9 when we started dating. The youngest one always resented me and never gave me a chance until 5.5 years ago when she had her baby. That was a turning point in her life and mine and it was the beginning of her and I getting on the right path together. In hindsight, I wish I would have done things differently but I did what I thought was the right way to handle whatever situation that was presented to us. We did talk and she now understands why I did what I did and my intentions were only for the best. She sees things more clearly now that she has her own child and my wife and I are thrilled she finally got her life on track and getting married to a great guy.

For all the dads out there with daughters, there are some dirt bag guys but there are also some good ones. we just need to put our trust in our daughters that they will make the right decisions and if they don't then be there to support them. For me it all worked out for the best. Now the hard part comes when I get the chance to give her away in November.

Good luck GHBWNY. Hopefully the other two will come around.

 

[Bowtiebrewery]

I don't have kids yet... but I have a niece now and she is a sweetheart... well for a 8 month old... hahah..

I've already resolved myself to being the "bad influence" uncle, but in a good way... I figure if she is going to have her first beer, why not with Uncle Jay! He knows his way around a beer or two...

As far as guys coming to date her... We are all pretty good judges of character in our family... Very few times did we make really life changing dumb decisions. As an Uncle I'll help as much as I can up to and including, putting the fear of god in a young man with no respect.

If I have a daughter... No exceptions... GPS Tracking will be a major consideration.

 

[Tin4]

Nobody wants their children to date jerks, and many people are uncomfortable thinking about their teenagers as sexual beings.

Believe it or not, girls think about sex, and lots of them actually LIKE it!
Scaring away a boy won't change that.

Best way to deal with it is to make sure your children are aware of the risks and have access to birth control, condoms, etc.

Really? Women? Are you sure?

Kidding. I like coming from a less sexually repressed generation than others. We still have ground to cover.

Birth control did so much for the emancipation of women.

I got remarried almost 11 years ago. My three daughters weren't having it and were especially disrespectful to my wife which caused big problems between my daughters and me. But I made it clear that my wife was my first priority and if they wanted to be part of our life, they would have to figure out how they were going to do that. I knew I couldn't 'legislate' a change of heart; it had to happen if and when it was going to. All we could do is pray. And wait. About 2 weeks ago, I got a surprise call from one of them. She asked if my wife was there and to put us both on speakerphone. Then she tearfully asked us to forgive her for her behavior over the past 11 years. And of course, we did.

Awesome! 11 years is quite the time to wait, but I'm glad she came around!

I don't have kids yet... but I have a niece now and she is a sweetheart... well for a 8 month old... hahah..

I've already resolved myself to being the "bad influence" uncle, but in a good way... I figure if she is going to have her first beer, why not with Uncle Jay! He knows his way around a beer or two...

As far as guys coming to date her... We are all pretty good judges of character in our family... Very few times did we make really life changing dumb decisions. As an Uncle I'll help as much as I can up to and including, putting the fear of god in a young man with no respect.

If I have a daughter... No exceptions... GPS Tracking will be a major consideration.

My brother is the bad influence uncle. He's holding onto his momentos from jail to show them how cool jail is...

 

[Cyclman]

"...what the sex is going to be like after the wedding.

AFTER the wedding?

 

[Joesl8]

I haven't met any of them yet, but I already hate them.

She's 2.

Unless he is mega rich. Then, you know... welcome home, "son."

Ha ha, my daughter is three and I've already started stock piling a small arsenal. That's the problem with the Air Force.