When my daughter was in high school she let a boy talk her into letting him spend the night while Mom and Dad were home without permission of coarse. I found the little bastard sleeping in her bed when I got up at 2:00 am to go to work. I literally picked that little sh^t up and tossed him down the stairs. Ran him out into the rainy night in his underwear. My daughter joined the Air Force then came back home after she got out. She got a job and started college. 2 weeks ago I learned she started seeing that little turd again. Since then she has lost her job and her grades are falling. She knows better then to let him onto my property as I have told her I will deal with him as a trespasser. She is generally a good girl but very gullible and easily influenced. Very frustrating as a father when they are to old to be told what to do.......
Daughters boyfriends that you hate.
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rlmiller10
Well-Known Member
40 acres and a backhoe?
Roadliner
Well-Known Member
There are certainly ways to disappear a body.....
harleybug88
Well-Known Member
She's living in your house, means she not to old to be told what to do, and to follow your rules.
or a sleeping bag and some cinder blocks
LandoLincoln
Well-Known Member
So glad I didn't have any daughters. I don't think I would have lived through the experience. Boys were tough enough.
Exactly what i was going to post. My daughter is only 3 and I have already had a little chat with a couple of toddlers.
I agree though, if she is living under your roof she still has to live by your rules.
Could've been worse, I suppose.
It seems the lost job and falling grades are the real problems to focus on. Help he see those as the issues, and she'll see the link between then and said turd. If she still doesn't, there might be other issues to take care of first.
Or, like Roadliner said, you could work the opposite angle.
Teach them as much as you can, while you can. Hope they pay attention and it sticks. You can still advise but eventually they make their own choices.
Unless, like others mentioned, a particular choice is not available...
Unless, like others mentioned, a particular choice is not available...
brew703
Well-Known Member
Had a similar situation. My daughter didn't have the best taste in boys/men. My wife and I tried talking to her but the more we forbid her to see him the more she went behind out backs. this guy was and is a POS. Doesn't work, steals, drug addict. I finally told her that he was not welcomed in my house and if she showed up with him I would KHA.
All of the talks I had with her backfired as she ended up pregnant for him. The bright side is having a baby turned her life around. She straightened up and got her life together.
My grand-daughter is now 5.5 years old and my daughter will be getting married in November to a great guy who has a JOB, never been in jail and has a 6 year old. If he could adopt my grand-daughter he would but the little scum bag would not sign over his rights. To this day he has yet to pay one dime in child support or carry insurance on his daughter. I feel sorry for her to go through life knowing her dad is a scum bag.
Bottom line is no matter how hard you try to prevent them from seeing someone that does not meet your criteria, the harder they try to see that person.
In the end, it all worked out and hopefully it will for you.
All of the talks I had with her backfired as she ended up pregnant for him. The bright side is having a baby turned her life around. She straightened up and got her life together.
My grand-daughter is now 5.5 years old and my daughter will be getting married in November to a great guy who has a JOB, never been in jail and has a 6 year old. If he could adopt my grand-daughter he would but the little scum bag would not sign over his rights. To this day he has yet to pay one dime in child support or carry insurance on his daughter. I feel sorry for her to go through life knowing her dad is a scum bag.
Bottom line is no matter how hard you try to prevent them from seeing someone that does not meet your criteria, the harder they try to see that person.
In the end, it all worked out and hopefully it will for you.
My teen daughter recently informed me that she has been secretly dating her first boyfriend for about five months. Why did she take so long to tell me? Because apparently I'm rather scary to her. Not too sure if this is a good or bad problem to have. Met him for the first time yesterday. Seems like a quiet respectable kid. But maybe he was just on his best behavior. Not too sure if this is a good or bad problem to have....
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I would say it is a scary problem.
If she will hide this for so long, what else will she hide?
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Dixon9717
Well-Known Member
Glad she saw the light and making something of her life. And congrats grandpa. Your granddaughter will figure eventually what a POS her sperm donor is. I agree that the more us parents try they push us away until they figure out life....
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Dixon9717
Well-Known Member
I Never trust first impressions of young boys. Their true character comes out sometime later.......
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Dixon9717
Well-Known Member
not to old to follow house rules when she's home but to old to follow rules when she's out in the world hanging with people we disapprove of. This is a situation that if you push to hard she might not come back until it's to late to correct the problem
Roadliner
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****taking notes.. scribble scribble****
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Which makes her an adult .. right?
I don't have this problem (yet anyway) but should i ever get it, i actually DO have a cabin in the middle of the woods where noone ever comes.....
brew703
Well-Known Member
My daughter is actually my step daughter. I've raised her since she was 4 and she is now 24. She resented me from the beginning and never really gave me a chance. Even though she is my step daughter I consider her my own and have from day 1. Right after she had her baby we sat down and cleared the air. Earlier this year she tells me that she finally understands why I did what I did when she was younger. Guess she sees how it will be with her own daughter.
Most of the time they will eventually see the light. Hopefully your daughter will do the same.
We, as parents, can only lead them in the right direction and hope they follow. Unfortunately some do and others don't.
Almost 18 year old son, no daughters.
There have been quite a few challenges.
I learned a few things.
No matter what you believe, they can find a way to prove you wrong. If you believe you can MAKE them do, or CONTROL them somehow, I assure you, they can prove you wrong.
When I finally gave up the illusion of control, and started letting him wallow in his squalor, AND forced him to get a job, while still going to school, somehow he rejoined the human race.
I almost think at this point he will grow up to be a fine man, but if you asked me last year, I would have told you, I would be in jail, and he dead
There have been quite a few challenges.
I learned a few things.
No matter what you believe, they can find a way to prove you wrong. If you believe you can MAKE them do, or CONTROL them somehow, I assure you, they can prove you wrong.
When I finally gave up the illusion of control, and started letting him wallow in his squalor, AND forced him to get a job, while still going to school, somehow he rejoined the human race.
I almost think at this point he will grow up to be a fine man, but if you asked me last year, I would have told you, I would be in jail, and he dead
harleybug88
Well-Known Member
I understand what your saying. Just make sure your not being an enabler.
Sometimes you have to be tough and lay down the law, even when you feel quilty about it.
P.S. My daughter is 31 and she put me through HELL when she was a teen.
Why is your daughter living with you as an adult and why are you still trying to run her life?
Only legally! My sister is 36 and a fine example of an adult child. She thinks everything is someone else's fault, no accountability, tries to party and date like she's 20! She has lousy taste in guys. If they are a decent guy she gets board, cheats on him with his best friend who is engaged to her friend, and then says it's his fault. She whines when she doesn't get her way. And then doesn't understand why her teenage son can't get his **** together? She loses her job every year or so because she calls off regularly every week or two with "a good reason". Then she says it's because they had it out for her! I can't believe we have the same parents!!! Point is adulthood in my eyes has nothing to do with age. Also.... My kid may grow up and become an adult that I can't order but they will always be my kid and I will always want the best for them, even if they don't!
This is a bad problem to have. Your child is afraid of you and what you will think of her. Can there be anything worse?
FloppyKnockers
Well-Known Member
Wow....This thread just took me back. I was that little turd. Always snuck into my girlfriends window to spend the night and (sentence fragment omitted on account dads of daughters are reading this) her. I would never want to be a dad of a daughter. Hats off to you.
[ame]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ml7C-WfL8f8[/ame]
[ame]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ml7C-WfL8f8[/ame]
My daughter is 9 mos old now and I am dreading these situations when they come. My wife finds it humorous at this point.
We had some family over and my daughter is enamored with her 4 year old cousin. He would come close to her and she would reach out and hug him in and give him a 'kiss'! Oh the women found it cute, i did not.... just wait i said, that wont be cute 14 years. (and we have feud going after I whoop the boy)
NO KISSING BOYS, EVER!!! Daddy, Papap, and a couple uncles are ok, but No Boys!
I am in for a hellava ride...
We had some family over and my daughter is enamored with her 4 year old cousin. He would come close to her and she would reach out and hug him in and give him a 'kiss'! Oh the women found it cute, i did not.... just wait i said, that wont be cute 14 years. (and we have feud going after I whoop the boy)
NO KISSING BOYS, EVER!!! Daddy, Papap, and a couple uncles are ok, but No Boys!
I am in for a hellava ride...
Roadliner
Well-Known Member
Yeah the whole.. all boys are evil except Your Daddy, grandpa's, and uncles conversation is going to be a tough one to get across lol.
I'm going to be working on finishing my basement soon, and I think I can make it a very very nice place to live until she is I don't know... 30 and of the right age to date. My wife doesn't seem to agree with me though lol.
I'm going to be working on finishing my basement soon, and I think I can make it a very very nice place to live until she is I don't know... 30 and of the right age to date. My wife doesn't seem to agree with me though lol.
Roadliner
Well-Known Member
Get like 10 more to have as an array across the cleaning table lol.:cross:
jakenbacon
Well-Known Member
I am sorry sir, but me and your daughter are in love.... We are free spirits and figure we could just park it at your place a while. So who needs good grades or a job right? Oh, and hey, did she tell you the good news!?!?!!!!
I like your thinking! Maybe some old medieval torture devices for "conversation starters" just placed about the house.
I was thinking more of the scene from Bad Boys 2 when they meet Reggie at the door.
TX_Brewing
Well-Known Member
I find that black powder weapons have sort of a caveman type appeal when it come to intimidation. Bonus is Uncle Sam doesn't consider them firearms and they are relatively inexpensive.
For the record I have an 11 year old daughter, things are just about to start getting interesting around here..... No boyfriends yet, but I know it is only a matter of time.
For the record I have an 11 year old daughter, things are just about to start getting interesting around here..... No boyfriends yet, but I know it is only a matter of time.
we use to tell our daughters off about the men they where dating,but we learnt the more you try and break them up more likely they will stay together.i have 3 girls all over 25.all with children.also the same happens when boys bring home there ladies.my son has had some real nasty ones.
Hoppity
Just brew it!
When raising children: instill good values pre-puberty, then pray over the next decade!
My wife has already stated that she sees my neighbor and i doing that bit. It would be so laughable since we are about as 'white suburbia' as it gets.
It would only be better if he is wearing a pink Polo and i am wearing sandals with socks.
Mine is eight, and this thought scares the hell out of me.
With sons, you worry about one penis, with daughters, you worry about all of them!
With sons, you worry about one penis, with daughters, you worry about all of them!
I never said she was afraid of me. But I did misspeak. I'm not scary to her, but to her friends. As in intimidating to them. This has been the subject of many conversations between us and I still don't understand what makes me intimidating. But if that's what it takes to keep her friends (and boyfriends) in line when they're around my house, then so be it.
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