As do I.
My problems are that after a few decades of it, it becomes very, very hard to not repeat yourself. Also, the sheer number of people involved....
On SWMBO's side, (+/- 6,000 give or take a cousin or ten) we don't do individuals. We do 'basket exchange' male/female style. If you can/want to be in on it, (no pressure, no judgments, too many youngers that are just starting out) there is a max of $25-$30....and it is broken up male/female. You draw a number, and it is an odd....almost like musical chairs thing..... your number gets pulled out of the hat, you pick which one you want, or you 'steal' someone else's gift. So on and so on...but you can only have gift stolen once, so as to not create 'hurt feelers' as BK says.
That's what a shopping spree is. A never ending zombie-like march between stores. She doesn't have to actually buy anything. It's the process that most women like. My wife would have done exactly the same thing in that situation. I would have been ready to shoot myself a few hours in.
The funny thing is that she complains about my mother and grandmother when she shops with them. She says they are too slow. I see absolutely no difference between the three of them.
Goodness...
It is a very selfish person who doesn't know what the word gift means. That's all I'm going to say about this.
On SWMBO's side, (+/- 6,000 give or take a cousin or ten) we don't do individuals. We do 'basket exchange' male/female style. If you can/want to be in on it, (no pressure, no judgments, too many youngers that are just starting out) there is a max of $25-$30....and it is broken up male/female. You draw a number, and it is an odd....almost like musical chairs thing..... your number gets pulled out of the hat, you pick which one you want, or you 'steal' someone else's gift. So on and so on...but you can only have gift stolen once, so as to not create 'hurt feelers' as BK says. Bottom line is, it has nothing to do with the gift, (we've actually discussed doing away with it altogether, but too damn much fun is had), but more about getting together and having a ton of fun. Some gifts are funny, some are really cool, but whatever. We laugh, we play games, we eat way too much, we catch grandma as she trips over a little one running around, and she just yells "save the wine, don't worry about me" ...... The little ones aren't left out..... up to about 13, they still get gifts from parents/grandparents, that sort of thing, but doing it the way we do, I think we are teaching them that it's not about the material goods, and what you can get just cuz it's Christmas, its about family, and enjoying the time you have with them.
I'm hardly sure where to begin with you scrooges. You're doing it wrong.
I find great pleasure in making or finding a good gift for a loved one. I guess the gifts I'm most proud of are the homemade/handmade ones. I spend a lot of time thinking about the person while planning and creating the item. Over the years I've made:
wood and antler cribbage boards
leather wallets
guitar strap
knives & sheaths
cedar chests
pens
pepper mills
baby rattles
jewelery boxes
a powder horn
I've also received many thoughtful gifts that really blessed me. I never fail to remember the giver every time I pick one up.
The best gift I've ever received was a shot glass. I am a huge history buff. My son went to Normandy on a study abroad program and had the brilliant idea of filling that commemorative shot glass with sand from Omaha Beach. I get chills every time I pick it up.
I always make some form of food gift. Last year it was homemade vanilla extract, multiple jams, sauces, crackers, etc. In years past it has been biscotti, cookies, or whatever else floats my boat. it's kind of fun for me making and collecting stuff then sharing the love with my family.
You are so talented!
I always make some form of food gift. Last year it was homemade vanilla extract, multiple jams, sauces, crackers, etc. In years past it has been biscotti, cookies, or whatever else floats my boat. it's kind of fun for me making and collecting stuff then sharing the love with my family.
I think that's a good way of looking at it. In my family, adults don't buy stuff for other adults for christmas (except their own kids). But my husband's family, a brother and sister with no families, insists on a "gift exchange". So I did it, twice. Before I learned.
They set a limit of $25. Ok, that's good.
Then, they give gift "suggestions" via email (they are not local). Here's what my brother-in-law said, "I only want two things. I want the Neil Young book and THIS t-shirt at THIS website in THIS size and color. That's it". His sister, "I'm not picky. I want a blue raincoat, with velcro closure, in a size medium, with a hood, with white striping on the side".
Um, ok. So, I buy you that raincoat. Why don't you just get it YOURSELF, and be done?
"Ordering" your gift really burns me. It's fine to give ideas, if someone really has no idea what you want or need. But to say, "I want XX item on XXX page of XXX catalogue" is really all about "me" and not about gifts. I dislike that.
One Christmas, with no money in my pocket, I went out and sold my only prized possession, a pocket watch my dad gave me, to buy a set of combs for my wife.
While I was out, my wife went to the local hairdresser and sold her hair to buy a watch chain for my watch.
Anyone remember reading The Gift of the Magi?
this here is a true and somewhat sad story. it's about my great uncle on my mother's side. he wanted this fancy new rifle for Christmas. at the time (1930's) it cot $100. my great grandpa kept telling him it was too expensive, but the young man kept asking for it anyway. come Christmas morning, all he got from his father was a brand new bible. he was quite upset about it for many years. decades later, after his father had died, my great uncle was missing his dad and feeling a bit sentimental. for the very first time, he opened that bible his dad gave him for Christmas when he wanted that $100 rifle. he opened that bible and started bawling like a baby. this grown man with a family and lived through WWII, bawled like a baby when he saw a $100 bill in that bible his dad gave him.
That's a great story Billy! I've got an old bible handed down through the family, with all the birth and death records in the middle. It's got it's own provenance, an interesting story in it's own right. But it doesn't match that one!
I'm hardly sure where to begin with you scrooges. You're doing it wrong.
I find great pleasure in making or finding a good gift for a loved one. I guess the gifts I'm most proud of are the homemade/handmade ones. I spend a lot of time thinking about the person while planning and creating the item. Over the years I've made:
wood and antler cribbage boards
leather wallets
guitar strap
knives & sheaths
cedar chests
pens
pepper mills
baby rattles
jewelery boxes
a powder horn
I've also received many thoughtful gifts that really blessed me. I never fail to remember the giver every time I pick one up.
The best gift I've ever received was a shot glass. I am a huge history buff. My son went to Normandy on a study abroad program and had the brilliant idea of filling that commemorative shot glass with sand from Omaha Beach. I get chills every time I pick it up.
The cribbage board is AWESOME! Our family goes back generations in being cribbage players.
The cribbage board is AWESOME! Our family goes back generations in being cribbage players. I have collected a few boards over the years that were unique, but I've never seen one like that. Beauty!
Thanks! I got to know my FIL over a cribbage board 30+ years ago. Great game! I've made several antler boards, including two for my older kids (my youngest doesn't play ) I made them both for the same Christmas, and each thinks their own is the best, and they tease each other about it quite a bit. One thing about working with antler, though -- it STINKS when you cut, turn, drill or sand it.
Here is the inscription on the bottom of my son's board pictured in my above post:
Man, that really got me. He'll treasure that forever. I made a pig-shaped checker board for my youngest daughter when she was little. Pigs were her favorite animal (maybe still are). I also inscribed the back of it and I think she treasures the inscription more than the board itself.
P.S. pigs also stink when you saw, sand or drill them! LOL
My wife's family asks what I want for Christmas. I tell them, the ONLY thing I want is cash/Visa gift cards to use toward upgrading my system. Shortly after that they email my wife asking for ideas.
Is my request really that terrible? I don't want "stuff." Don't look for the perfect gift. "Personal" or "special" gifts usually get shoved in the closet and forgotten. I just want to upgrade to electric, and I'm not giving you a list, because a) most of the stuff is more than you're going to want to pay, b) I'm looking for specialty items at specialty shops that you've never heard of, and c) I'm gonna shop by price/availability, which changes, especially during the holiday season.
CASH IS A PERFECTLY ACCEPTABLE GIFT!!!
Is it just me, or does anybody else get hit with "I can't give you cash -- cash is so impersonal"?
Some might think cash or some sort of gift card is "tacky" or impersonal, and I can understand why some might think so, but if that's what you really want, all you can do is tell them when they ask; which is what you do. If they don't give you what you want, there are really 2 ways to handle it.
Tell them how you really feel (in a nice, diplomatic way) or say "thank you" when they give you something you didn't want & count yourself lucky that they cared enough to give you anything at all. There's a lot more to Christmas than getting what you want; it's nice to get exactly what you want, but there are many who get nothing and/or have nobody.
Just something you might want to think about.
Merry Christmas!
Regards, GF.
.....If they don't give you what you want, there are really 2 ways to handle it.
Tell them how you really feel (in a nice, diplomatic way)...
I am brought to the point of tears after reading this thread. When I was younger, it was all about friends and family, and memories that I still have in my heart. Every Thanksgiving the house was full of friends and family, and Christmas, and New Years for every year I lived at home. I miss the rest of my family, in that I mean my Father (who passed away almost a decade ago), my Mother who turned 91 this September, my Aunts and Uncles, including the ones that have gone to a better place, I know I will see them again. My older brother is a bully and a racist a-hole, and so are his wife and son, so my marrying a woman of color didn't go over very big I am sure, but he had the good sense to not comment, or I would have hurt him. Five years ago March14, my Wife and I were married, and I got two great daughters out of the deal. Many years ago my wife started a tradition with the girls; new pajamas every year, and that is the one (and only) gift that is opened on Christmas Eve. I moved away from my family in 1983 for a job, and even though the job ended, I never moved back. I had some long-term deep seated issues that by the Grace of God, are long gone that kept me away.
Between 1983 and 2009, I celebrated three family (relationship) Christmas's, and was single the rest of the time, so I have been Bah, Humbug, on Christmas for almost three decades. My Wife and youngest daughter (17) really get jacked up about decorating the tree and the house, and I am just not interested in doing either one. My Wife gives me the stink-eye look, and I get out of chair and help decorate the tree. She says, "I hope you start enjoying Christmas by the time we have grand-kids." Ouch. When it comes to gifts, our list is very small, my Mom sends us each a little money, and we are all extremely grateful and let her know.
My wife has a nice collection of "antique" vinyl, and has had no turntable to play them on, for years, and she has mentioned it, for years, and, you get the point. So, this year I finally bought her a turntable, and she will brag to all of her friends what a nice turntable her wonderful Husband bought for her. She does talk like that, she is pretty wonderful herself. What is point to all of this? In spite of the fact some of your family members may be a-holes (like mine), and Christmas is over commercialized and all about money, and most of the people you really loved are no longer on earth, please don't do like like I did for the last 20 plus years and ruin the Spirit of Christmas for everyone around you; tell them you love them (anyway), and make an excuse to go visit as often as you can.
I'm sort of out in the cold there. Both sets of parents & grandparents are gone with family scattered to the four winds. No friends or neighbors over for the holidays either. Kinda reminds me of Mr Magoo's Christmas Carol. " A hand for each hand was planned for the world...why don't my fingers reach? Millions of grains of sand in the world, why such a lonely beach"? Idk? Am I really that bad? I wonder to myself. To old to be cool anymore? Ya gotta wonder sometimes...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b7qOFB4IXA8
Xmas is for kids, it's like a second bday for them. If you accept cash as a gift from an adult, what do you gift in return? More cash. At this point you're all just exchanging money, and will end up where you were to begin with. Xmas is out of control. My sister and I used to go back n forth at each of our bdays, I'd give her $50 at hers, she'd give me $50 at mine. This went on for awhile. It's better just to hang out on holidays watch the kids do their thing. I wouldn't refuse new brewing gear for sure. But when people ask what I want, it's always nothing. If you ask for a thing and you get that thing, just seems weird to me. Getting blindsided with some cool thing you never expected is good times. And it shouldn't just be Christmas this happens. Mandatory gift giving never ends well. Christmas is a sad day for most most people. Trying to teach my kids right, it's tough
Well, that's just like your opinion man.
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