Female Club Leadership and Misogyny Problems

Homebrew Talk - Beer, Wine, Mead, & Cider Brewing Discussion Forum

Help Support Homebrew Talk - Beer, Wine, Mead, & Cider Brewing Discussion Forum:

This site may earn a commission from merchant affiliate links, including eBay, Amazon, and others.

feralparakeet

Member
Joined
Oct 20, 2012
Messages
5
Reaction score
3
Hi! I'm feralparakeet. I'm an officer in our local homebrew club (for the second year now, in a different position than the first year), and I'm a woman. I'd like to share my story here (one of the parties to this post is an active redditor on /r/homebrewing, so I'm avoiding that forum for now), and I apologize for the length of it all.

Now, it hasn't been an easy ride for me. I was first asked to be an officer (probably as a de-facto thing where I wasn't actually expected to do anything or be a part of decision-making) by a former president who was voted out during the same election when I was brought in, and whom has since gained a reputation for planning events, being unprepared, and taking his failures out on others. He recently referred to other club members, before they showed up to judge a competition without any benefit of training, as "morons".

I was asked to be the individual in charge of competitions for a large club that hadn't had a competition in some years. No problem, I said, I can organize it and get awards etc together - and I did, both last year and again this year. Even with past-president starting a competing competition a month before our club's, we had double the entries this year.

Our president last year, after past-president was voted out of office, was a bit of a train wreck. Don't get me wrong, he's a great guy, but he didn't really have the leadership or organizational skills to be running a club of this size. There were also issues with the other officers, including the treasurer having a major family tragedy a quarter into the club's fiscal year. The secretary was partial owner of a now-open-and-thriving nano-brewery (his wife hugged me and thanked me when I took over his role this year), and one of the other co-owners of the brewery was in charge of securing beer for our annual homebrew/craft beer festival each fall. It also turns out that past-president hadn't bothered to file the IRS Form 990-PF to maintain our 501(c)3 status, and when the revocation notice came in, he returned to the IRS a bungled application to be considered as a 501(c)7, despite my having offered to review all forms before they were submitted, as I happen to be an expert on nonprofit issues. I'm still trying to clean up -that- mess.

All of this leads me to my big diatribe.

Our fundraiser each fall is the biggest driver of both our club's finances and our charitable giving. Last's years festival was a gargantuan mess - they thought Facebook would be a useful tool to plan things (it became a complete clusterfsck), a certain member (now-president) donated a lot of time and money from his own business to ensure that we had flyers to post around town and t-shirts to sell for the benefit of said charity, but the money seemingly disappeared, and one of the major distributors in the area didn't show up (apparently the beer wrangler managed to upset them somehow, and we're still getting the runaround this year because of it). Despite over 1400 attendees, somehow we were told by the Treasurer that "all we could afford" to donate was $2500 - I threw a fit during an officer's meeting about how we'd manipulated our charity partner for publicity and managed to talk him up to $3000. It was extremely embarrassing to present that tiny check to them after all of the work that they'd done to help promote the festival. The new batch of officers decided to give another $1500 to said charity, but it still was nowhere near enough.

This year, the now-president and his wife have been a godsend. Gone are the headaches of last year in terms of club management, we've updated our bylaws to be more charitable, rather than just a bunch of folks getting together and drinking beer. We always check with eachother and the other officers on major decisions, and even minor ones that involve any expenditures.

Sadly, the other officers this year haven't been as supportive. A woman was elected as VP for Competitions (I ceded the role when nobody else would run for Secretary), and she promptly disappeared off the face of the planet, leaving me to handle the competition this summer as well. Another woman was elected Treasurer, as well but she soon thereafter was given a promotion at work which required tremendous amounts of travel - and instead of ceding her place as a board member, she would simply send her husband in her place. Even when she was present at meetings, she would allow him to speak for her, which I find terribly problematic - not to mention outside of the parliamentary procedure that the club has employed for over a decade, and when I reminded them of procedure after he started assuming he had an extra vote during the officer's meetings (there's no proxy, much less spousal privilege in the bylaws), I was suddenly on the "***** list". I should note that our "first lady", while working her ass off for the club, has never attempted to assume any voting authority.

This year, I've set up a bulk keg purchase for the club, I've successfully entered multiple bylaw changes into the voting record (which were approved) in order to regain our 501(c)3 status, and I've spent, on average, 20 hours a week working for the club and our festival in addition to the 60-80 hours I work weekly as a tenure-track professor.

The planning group for our annual festival has been a nightmare. After last year's complete debacle with Facebook, somehow it was decided not to completely abandon the group, and now it's grown into a whole new, more evil beast. We did integrate some Google Docs for better collaboration, but a handful of the "old guard" has essentially refused to use it. That past-president guy randomly spouted off lowball amounts for sponsorship agreements without checking with anyone, and new-president and I had to clean up his mess, and eventually I had to essentially fire past-president as a volunteer (I don't think he ever accepted the message, but at least he's been neutralized... for this event, at least).

I should note that current-president doesn't like confrontation, so we'll often have conversations where he expresses a strong opinion but won't follow up on it, so I post emails/facebooks/whatever to a very toned-down extent, and he doesn't exactly back me up. Every time I deal with others in the club, the "Kyle's Mom is a *****" song plays in my head, because experience has demonstrated that it's an entirely accurate depiction of how others see me.

There are two people in the club who actively seem to be maligned against the idea that I do much of anything beyond breathe. First, the self-proclaimed-local-beer-king who keeps a blog/newsletter - last year, when a publicity opportunity for a morning show arose and I said that I was free that morning and happy to do it, he chewed me out because HE was in charge of media appearances. I noted how good it might be for a woman to be the face of beer for a change, but didn't fight it too much - he won that argument, no biggie to me... until he didn't even bother to show up for the television broadcast. Yep, still on the "Kyle's Mom" list for that one. He also threw a fit this year when I said that I had a problem with our event's first-billing being ceded to some radio station or magazine when we were the ones doing all of the work. When he presented a proposal that seemed fitting, we were pleased - and then we called to confirm and the magazine in question backpedaled on whatever they agreed to, instead requiring exactly the sort of thing we had said we wouldn't give up in terms of naming rights. This is pretty much par for the course here.

Second is the artwork guy, currently the one who's VP for events. He barely changed the advertisements from last year, and when some members objected to the visuals on the flyer (it really did look like Kim Kardashian in a dirndl), instead of offering to change it, he threw up arguments about how he couldn't understand why we didn't appreciate his work and he didn't see what the problem was. Eventually, I replied with a comment to the extent of "Hey, we've asked nicely for you to change it and all you've done is argue... just change it already." His wife then came in to argue for his point of view, and commented how much she liked the people who actually supported him. Another mark for the "Kyle's Mom" list there.

I should note that Artwork VP has a bad habit of booking venues and not cancelling when we make other plans for club meetings, so venues end up ordering a ton of extra food that ends up turning into waste. Self-proclaimed-local-beer-king swore months ago that he would confirm attendance of the major distributors, but I learned late last week that he hadn't, and so I had to make emergency calls in the hope that our brewfest hasn't completely been screwed over. I'm still not sure that it hasn't been, but man, I hope it hasn't, because I've been working way too much for this.

Artwork VP guy also suddenly decided to take it upon himself to order t-shirts for sale, as opposed to leaving it up to now-president who has the wholesale printing relationships. Now-president and first lady questioned it, but instead of responding to those comments, he instead posted it as gospel to the club's FB group. Of course, after this, I had to be the bad guy once more, and asked why he was so combative after anyone had any criticism of his work, and why he decided to take t-shirt purchasing upon himself when in no officer's or committee meeting was he asked to do so. In response, he and self-proclaimed-local-beer-king threw another fit and called me the combative one, etc etc etc. Woohoo, I've achieved "Super-king-kamehameha-beyotch" levels!

I left a voicemail message for Artwork VP guy and replied to the Facebook thread noting my voicemail, and asking him to contact me to help with correcting those misunderstandings. More than eight hours have passed, and he hasn't even acknowledged that I made an effort to reach out and correct any miscommunications. Nope, I'm still Kyle's Mom, the big fat *****.

"Have you ever met my friend Kyle's mom?
She's the biggest ***** in the whole wide world
She's a mean old ***** and she has stupid hair
She's a ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** *****!"

Others have noted throughout the past two years (including the now-president and first lady) that such comments and arguments would never have transpired, had I only been born with XY genes instead of a pair of boobs. Funny enough, I live a lifestyle much closer to an early-20s bachelor (my house is pets, beer, research materials, dirty laundry all over the place, and more beer) than a mid-30s woman.

Thus far, I have only heard support from individuals in private conversations; they'll tell me that I've got the balls and the skills to make the trains run on time and I'm more dedicated than anybody, but nobody else seems to be willing to stand up for the fact that I'm task-oriented and get things done, that I'm not an arbitrary control freak or anything. The first lady even apologized for tipping me off to Artwork VP's rant, which resulted in the controversial posting that should never have been controversial.

Normally, I would gladly just say "screw it" and go on my merry way to find another hobby, but I've invested nearly a thousand dollars' worth of equipment and an amount of volunteering time that I would likely have billed out at over $50k (or more likely twice that) in total had I been doing consulting work at my regular rate.

I really don't want to run this damned club, though some friends have suggested I take over as President next year. I'd much rather the now-president/first-lady/myself triad somehow keeps going, because we make it work. Still, it pisses me off that so very few in the club are newbie friendly, that so few people show up now that we finally do group brew days, and that new members get torn to shreds when they post pictures of their techniques. I know multiple women who have been run away from this club, and I still am asked by even the old-school types (who know my history of independent brewing) what my boyfriend/husband thinks of my hobby.

So, I'm sorry for this long rant, but I just don't know what to do anymore. I love brewing, especially for charity (I probably brew 5x as much for charitable events annually as I ever will for personal/friend use), but I'm sick of the misogyny. I can't imagine that any of this hatred would ever be channeled toward a male who took charge, or how people with less self-control than I have manage to resist throwing punches.

Having searched HBF for other females, I know that we're few and far between, but I hope that this allows you, the other subscribers, to seriously consider how you treat other women (especially in leadership roles) in your clubs. And, of course, I welcome your suggestions for how to deal with all of the drama, but please, follow Wil Wheaton's rule (as I hope you would anywhere else) - "Dont be a dick".
 
Well, kudos for the WHil WHeaton reference!

And secondly, I simply cannot fathom why you continue to punish yourself by remaining in the position. I would have just told all of them to take the job and shove it.

You will have miscommunications from time to time. It's GOING TO HAPPEN! But a continuing dysfunctional system is not going to work out for a group of that size.

The simple fact is; you have by-laws, procedures, and policies. They are to be enforced. Things need to be voted on. People who manage to get the most votes on their side win the day! The rest get to suck it up and pout or get themselves elected to make the changes they want.

Luckily I am in a new club, and it's still pretty small. I sincerely hope stuff like that doesn't happen. It's hard to keep personal feeling out of it. Some people just can't.
 
I'm an officer in a homebrew club and have some understanding of your frustration. I hope it helps to share it. My advice would be to take a break from club leadership and concentrate on homebrewing and enjoy participating - it sounds like you've earned a break.

Our club has some participation from women brewers and its growing. Myself and another newer board member are pretty active in seeking out opportunities to involve women in the club and also in calling out sexism when it arises.

I hope you can find a way out of the drama and get back to enjoying your hobby.
 
Unsolicited advice here. Not all brewers operate that way, and it seems that you have run into a large group of jerks. Don't let a group of asshats cause you to quit something you enjoy, but maybe a change of scenery is in order. If I were in your shoes (I am admittedly a slightly mysogynistic guy) I would seek out a different brew club, as that one sounds to be poisioned and is definitely not good for you. One of the joys of HBT, or at least in my slightly biased opinon, is that we tend to be an understanding bunch and I have not seen any blatant mysogyny, only good natured banter.

But I repeat. Unless you have reasons for doing otherwise, you seem to be jaded enough with your current club to at least seriously consider checking out ofther local clubs or even considering starting your own if you can find enough likeminded properly motivated people. I find that groups that are mismanaged tend to fall apart because of it.

Hang in there on the brewing. Especially if you enjoy it.
 
I'm in a lot of clubs. None of those are homebrew clubs, but I'm in at least a half dozen. My experience has been that clubs suck. I've dealt with a lot of the same issues you have, and sometimes the reward just doesn't equal the effort you're putting in. When I reach the point that you're at now, I have to ask myself, "what do I want out of this?"

It sounds like you want
- Gender equality within the club
- A welcoming environment for newcomers
- Rational use of club resources
- Democratic processes to govern club actions
- A respectful environment for all members
- A culture of ownership/responsibility
- For all of this to be fun

That's a long, long list of wants, but they are perfectly reasonable and are, truthfully, quite basic and fundamental to a functional club. The fact that you aren't seeing most of those wants filled seems to point to very systemic failures within the club. So, I think you are completely justified in your diatribe.

My basic advice would be to write your own list of wants and to focus on that. Figure out how to get those things from this club. That may mean expanding or contracting your role in the club, but you need to trust that you'll be happier by sticking to your most intrinsic needs. If gender equality is most important, then chuck the rest and focus on that. You may not fix all of your club's problems, but, if you fix one thing, you're at least making tangible progress.

If I personally were in your situation, I would withdraw from the club. Yes, you've put a lot in, but that isn't worth it for something making you so unhappy. Consider, however, that even if you do withdraw, your effort will not have gone unnoticed. You have a reputation separate from the rest of your club's leadership, both with members and with suppliers (shirts, music, venues, etc). These people all know that you're the one pulling the cart and that your fellow board members can't be relied on the way you can. I would leave, but I also would start my own club. Your detractors will be glad to see you go, and your supporters will follow you. Contact all your suppliers and tell them you've left and that you aren't responsible for future actions made by that club, and then build a fresh relationship. Build the culture you want within the new club. The problems in your current club are so bad and are so systemic that I will bet money they're meeting in a basement before long, and that you're doing all the same events and charity work, having the same community impact, as you did with the old club.
 
It always blows my mind when people who can't stand authority join various groups. Too many chiefs & not enough indians imo. I'd bale on this bunch & take a break for awhile to regroup. Then see how I feel about a brew club.
 
I agree on starting a new club. Some of the members of our new club were members of other clubs. Some are still members of other clubs. People leave clubs for different reasons. I think some members of our club simply wanted more activity beyond drinking at someone's house and brewing beer while doing it. They wanted to LEARN more, and TEACH more, and EXPERIMENT more.

Ask yourself what you want in a club. Everyone should get to enjoy the club, not just the casual members. Leaders should also enjoy it. After all, it's a volunteer commitment, not a legal requirement. I wouldn't waste more time in a place that didn't appreciate the effort I put in.
 
Two quotes come to mind:

I don't want to belong to any club that would have me as a member - Groucho Marx

If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude - Maya Angelou
 
I'm not a joiner but a guy working at my new favorite LHBS was talking to me about his club. A few of the aspects he mentioned sounded kind of interesting and I was giving it some consideration. My thanks to feralparakeet for reminding me of many of the reasons I do not join. I realize this post is no help to the OP but I feel that her post has helped me. Thanks!
 
I'm not a joiner but a guy working at my new favorite LHBS was talking to me about his club. A few of the aspects he mentioned sounded kind of interesting and I was giving it some consideration. My thanks to feralparakeet for reminding me of many of the reasons I do not join. I realize this post is no help to the OP but I feel that her post has helped me. Thanks!

I do not think you should shy away from a club because of her experience.


feralparakeet, I definitely think it is time to walk away from the club. It is not for you and you are not for them. They have shat all over the club and you. It is unfair but the only way to resolve this now, in my opinion, is to leave. Do what you want on the go forward, whether it is starting a club, joining a new one, or just doing what you do outside any organized club. The key is to do what you want and get out of the clear headache that these people have created.

This hobby is definitely male-centric. There are many women brewers who are absolutely talented and that is a great thing, but this hobby is often one that I see males take up. Regardless of the male to female ratio, no one person should ever make another person feel as though they do not belong when they're both in a club for the exact same reason. If those boys want to be absolute ignorant bastards to women then so be it. I pity any woman in their life and I pity them for living such a ****ty life.

Unfortunately, I think though your writings that you know the resolution to this problem. It is not an easy move to make but I think in the end you'll breathe easier.
 
Yikes. I just started a club here earlier this year, and right now it's a very small, hunky-dory group of folks who drink each other's beer and talk about improvement. I would wager that we're all pretty amiable because nobody has any money invested in the group yet, so it's less of a club and more of a group of friends with a similar interested hanging out every month. I shudder to think that it would turn into the grudge match OP is describing.

As for the misogyny, my only advice is to call people out when they are throwing it your way. Would you tolerate a student that made sexist or misogynist comments to you? No! You'd report his disrespectful ass and document the incident out the wazoo (I'm married to a tenure-track professor who's had to do this a few times).

Your position in the club deserves respect, and if you cannot quell it by calling people on their BS, and you get no support from the officials higher up the authority ladder (it does sound like the President is pretty reluctant to bring the hammer down on anyone, which is unfortunate), then it sounds like your club is on the precipice of anarchy, and is no place for you or anyone else who wants to brew beer and improve their community. It's a toxic situation. Do you think you can dotoxify it? If not, is it worth the stress? It sounds like the club would fall apart if you weren't involved, so maybe it's time to show them what happens when good ol' feralparakeet isn't around to pick up their slack anymore. Good luck, and cheers to you for fighting harder than you should have to.
 
In my 5 years of brewing, I've never encountered a brewing club the way you describe yours.

Are you even sure it's about brewing?

I mean, donating to charity is one thing, but non-profit tax exempt status? IRS forms? Radio and media cross-promotions? Catering?

Good God, that's not at all about brewing: that's running a large organizaton for the sake of running a large organization.

Homebrew clubs are like book-reading clubs; they're not supposed to be like the Kiwanis. Nor the Fraternal Order of the Water-buffalo. People get together to discuss brewing, beer, and how to improve your skills. (Or to discuss plot points and writing styles for the book clubs).

Maybe it's done alongside a potluck. Or pairing cheese with your beer. (Or which wines pair better with Historical romances compared to murder-mysteries). Catered events? Jeez-Louise, that's just weird.

IRS forms? Accounting? Homebrew clubs are about everyone chipping-in for pizza, not keeping tax reciepts.

Just my two scudi.
 
Ill echo most others' sentiments about leaving the club. Sounds like you waste a lot of time and effort fixing mistakes that shouldnt have been made to begin with.

The problem with misogyny, racism, xenophobia, homophobia, and all bigotry in general is that the bigots will never change. You just have to hope they die before they can reproduce and spread their 'ideals'. Such is life.
 
Don't let a group of asshats cause you to quit something you enjoy, but maybe a change of scenery is in order. If I were in your shoes (I am admittedly a slightly mysogynistic guy) I would seek out a different brew club, as that one sounds to be poisioned and is definitely not good for you.

This. :rockin:

It doesn't sound like the hobby's the problem, just a bunch of jerks and a dysfunctional organization. If those jerks are sucking all the fun out of the hobby, I'd find a different group of jerks to hang out with.... or preferably non-jerks.

Life's too short to spend it with ********.
 
When a person does announce they are leaving, both to the club and to outside interests, of course, be civil. No need to bash. One never knows who's who to someone else and what's gone on which they don't know about. Some folks may be alienated from both sides if it looks to them like a bunch of drama. They may see it as best to walk away from the whole thing. No one wins.

A simple statement that one is leaving to do their own independent thing or start a new club should suffice. If it's the independent route, it can be said they want to try things on their own or just not be in a club right now. If it's forming a new club, answer to why with a mission statement, one without any red vs blue rhetoric. Our goal is this because this, not this because those guys suck.

And I'm not suggesting anyone would be less than amicable. I'm just saying stuff out loud.

Home brewing is a male dominated hobby. Despite any grand ideology, the two sexes do, and always will, have their differences. It's hard wiring. That's no reason for harmful sexism. No club should limit its membership or member standings based on gender. Unless they want to be an all one gender club. Then, hey, power to them, but that's not what this is about. If it's a co-ed club, it has to be co-ed all the way. No hard feelings (well, maybe some hard feelings :fro: ) against anyone for being tab or slot. Everyone's a brewer who stands on their merit, not their genitals.
 
I mean, donating to charity is one thing, but non-profit tax exempt status? IRS forms? Radio and media cross-promotions? Catering?

Good God, that's not at all about brewing: that's running a large organizaton for the sake of running a large organization.

I understand your point, but the fact is, there are a few very good reason to set up a homebrewing club as a non-profit. Most of the other stuff goes along with it.

To the OP I'd like to mention that there is no misogyny at our club. In fact, one of the officer's wives attends every meeting and function. I would not be surprised to see her in a leadership role at some point and I'm not sure she even brews!

That kind of thing is uncalled for. It's homebrewing. I know several women who brew and are VERY good at it. I know many women who take leadership roles in a variety of organizations, both professionally and otherwise. Yes, some of them can be "bitchy" if you care to use that term, but they are no different than the variety of male personalities. Both genders can be hard to work with and feel resentment, which causes an organization to function poorly.

I still say forget that noise and start your own club. It might have to be smaller to start, but it will be worth it in your sanity and enjoyment of the hobby.
 
In all fairness... if you feel used, abused, or not equal just walk away quietly and don't look back. Leave the painful past in the past and find a few friends to brew with or brew alone.
 
From your description I can find no redeeming qualities about your club. Is that the case? It also sounds like your organization has become to big for its britches. I am not saying you are a B but it seems like you don't get along with any of the officers you are working with. Is this a square peg in a round hole situation? I have worked with people that I just couldn't exist with because our personality and management styles were polar opposites.
 
I mean, donating to charity is one thing, but non-profit tax exempt status? IRS forms? Radio and media cross-promotions? Catering?

....

IRS forms? Accounting? Homebrew clubs are about everyone chipping-in for pizza, not keeping tax reciepts.

Part of the problem (at least when it comes to the accounting and non-profit status comments) is just inherent when you have a large group of people and money is involved.

A large number of people paying "dues" to be in a "club" starts to look an awful lot like a business generating income at a large enough level (as far as the IRS is concerned), unless its designated as a non-profit. Sure, you could keep it small and informal and not collect dues, but that in itself limits the kind of things the club can do. And opening up a bank account for such an organization can be tricky without that designation. There's question of what to do with the excess funds that are not spent on club business. Do you trust the guy in charge of keeping track of the money to not pocket some of it? Are the club officers spending the money wisely? You had better have some sort of accounting system in place. And hell, maybe you want to use your homebrewing powers for good, so having it set up as a semi-charity organization isn't a bad idea. Etc etc etc

Not saying that type of organization's my cup of tea. I prefer the "small group of guys drinking beer" type of group. But I've been apart of other non-homebrew related groups where we ran into these kind of issues.
 
I couldn't bring myself to read all that rambling, but it seems like personal issues with other people, I think you're projecting the whole misogyny angle.

The bottom line with any club is that it's a social group. Either you want to associate with the people in said group, or you don't..regardless of the activities the group is involved with.


It seems like you think too much about meaningless ****. Quit the club, associate with the club members you want to on your own time, make beer, and RDWHAHB

Life just isn't as difficult as you are making it for yourself with the people you are choosing to associate with and the responsibility you have accepted.
 
Just because a club CAN become large doesn't mean it should or that it can be sustained forever. Whatever made it a great club, such that so many wanted to join, is usually very specifically tied to a small group of people or even a single really hard working, dedicated person. That can't last forever because people burn out. It sounds like that club needs to self destruct a bit before it drops in size and someone can pull it out of the ashes. People that want to be in leadership for the title and recognition and then don't do any work are worse than having no one in the position.

If you want to try to keep contributing, you may want to suggest relaxing the club's obligations and rework the mission statement to a point where it can be achieved with the current members. If you have a ton of non contributing drinkers, tighten up the membership requirements. We got to the point where people were just joining the club to come hang out once in a while and it became unmanageable. While we never had to exercise it, we did write into the bylaws that "dead weight" members that never volunteered for anything could be asked to leave. While it probably alienated a few people, they were going to be the dead weight anyway.

While I've been on my club's board for several years and we've always considered it to be pretty rigid but man, your club sounds like a second job that underpays.
 
OP - It sounds like you know what you need to do. It's time to resign and move on. If you're in a leadership position and the other leaders in that club are undercutting you, then why you are still there? You're not going to make meaningful progress and changes if the president of the club isn't willing to back you up.

Give yourself a break and take a look at other clubs in the area or consider starting your own.
 
I understand your frustration- but sometimes people are jerks to everyone and not necessarily misogynists. I try to remember that, and not consider it a male/female thing (unless it is!).

While there seem to be more men than women in brewing, there are a surprising number of females in the hobby as well.

In fact, many of the people who responded to your post are females. We just don't really "look" like girls on the internet, I guess! :mug:
 
I'd take a break if I was you. I wouldn't deal with an environment like that unless I was being paid (a lot)!

This doesn't sound out of the ordinary at all. In my experience anytime more than 2 people congregate to share common experiences this stuff happens. You see it in country clubs, churches, little league baseball leagues, boy scouts, HOAs, etc...

There are always people who want to be involved, people who don't want to be involved (but love to complain), people who want to run the whole show 'their way', and peole who have everything dumped on them. I was a treasurer for several organizations for years.

Then there are the cliques who argue and compete with each other. It stops being about the activity and turns into a giant power grab. My son was on a little league team where my son's ex-coach tried to get the current coach (both were volunteers) fired. She approached all the parents and tried to rile everyone up. What's the point of that?

If there's money involved - forget about it.

Why do you think the government is so screwed up? It's based on the same model. :D

No thanks - I'll pass. I'll sit in my garage and drink beer with my friends.
 
I'll echo what others say. I used to run a local car club, and it was fun and simple, then we started getting more sponsors, and people wanted X and Y and nothing was ever good enough... after a few months of people just bitching about everything that was going on, I decided to pass the reigns on to someone else that was willing to deal with that BS. I put up with a lot of BS at work, I'm not gonna do it in my spare time.

My local club sounds like a complete disaster compared to what you have going on, in size. Local beerfests and competitions are organized in conjunction with the local beer club, but not BY the beer club. I'm not an officer or anything, nor would I want to be, though.

Kudos to you for your efforts, but it seems to me like you're trying to save a sinking ship with a sieve. Unless you coordinate a mass lay-off of all asshat members of your board, you're better just starting your own club with them and have a really strong base to build on, rather than the insane game of Jenga that you're currently playing.
 
It sounds like misogyny isn't the primary problem here.

The primary problem is that you're surrounded by ****ups who are upset that you're not a ****up. Or something like that.

A lot of these behaviors are just seriously problematic. If people are going to support you privately and question you publicly, if the club president is going to essentially to force you to be confrontational on his behalf... you can't really win.

What I would do is stop being involved in the leadership. It sounds like too much trouble and stress. The other option seems to be becoming the club president and fixing the mess.
 
In my 5 years of brewing, I've never encountered a brewing club the way you describe yours.

Are you even sure it's about brewing?

I mean, donating to charity is one thing, but non-profit tax exempt status? IRS forms? Radio and media cross-promotions? Catering?

Good God, that's not at all about brewing: that's running a large organizaton for the sake of running a large organization.

Homebrew clubs are like book-reading clubs; they're not supposed to be like the Kiwanis. Nor the Fraternal Order of the Water-buffalo. People get together to discuss brewing, beer, and how to improve your skills. (Or to discuss plot points and writing styles for the book clubs).

Maybe it's done alongside a potluck. Or pairing cheese with your beer. (Or which wines pair better with Historical romances compared to murder-mysteries). Catered events? Jeez-Louise, that's just weird.

IRS forms? Accounting? Homebrew clubs are about everyone chipping-in for pizza, not keeping tax reciepts.

Just my two scudi.
As it has been mentioned, setting up tax exempt status has real benefits. I belong to two clubs, and both are set up as not-for-profits. This gives our sponsors a tax ID they can record when they make donations to our events. It doesn't let them write off the expense, but many wouldn't sponsor us without that number. It allows the club to open a bank account. Being a legal entity also helps protect our officers from being held personally liable in case something unfortunate happens.

As for the OP, I'd probably post that rant to the club's Facebook page followed by a **** you all. OK, you probably shouldn't do that, but it may be time to walk away.
 
Wow. I made this post, went to bed, and didn't think much would come of it. I did take a mental health day for myself today though, which was nice.

I'm still on the fence about leaving or not, but I have chatted with a few other women about starting a separate club.

As to the nonprofit status... we bring in a LOT of money from our festival each year, and we can either be a nonprofit (as we were before) or pay a lot of money out in corporate taxes. From the accounting standpoint, it's actually easier to be a nonprofit, because we don't do anything that's considered UBI.

But most of all, I wanted to say thanks for all of the support I've seen in this thread. I'm so accustomed to other parts of the internet that I was half expecting to be trolled to hell and back.
 
I still say you should just walk away & let them crash & burn alone. There is absolutely NO OTHER WAY! They must be taught the hard way from the sound of things. It's like being in love with a gold digger. Sooner or later, you're in the red & must give up the ship...
I was a line foreman for 13 of my last not-quite- 14 years at Ford. You are NOT the boss till you're prepared to make the shizzy call. Only then are you the boss. Seems like we all have to learn that the hard way. Do it. Do it now...you KNOW you want too...
 
Reading your description, it's hard to tell what you're getting back from this club that you're dedicating so much time to! It really sounds like it's time to step away from the club and enjoy your time brewing beer alone or with real friends, either informally or in a much smaller -- or at the least better managed -- club.
 
...I was half expecting to be trolled to hell and back.

Nah, that isn't our way. If it were, I wouldn't have stuck around this long.

This is the finest group of (as Yooper calls us) imaginary friends I have met online. The Mods keep the riffraff in line or away and the community is always happy to support you when you are being reasonable, tell you when you are being unreasonable, encourage you to try new and unusual thing (Okra Mead for one), and throw in a little good natured razzing all the time. I see you have been with us for a while, but welcome anyway.
 
OP I am with all the others that your current club is at its self destruction point. It can be fixed if all the officers will back each other and deal with the members that are causing problems. Sadly if that can not happen then it is time to leave.
 
If you're already willing to put that much work into a social club, you'd be a great candidate to lead a small succession group. Write the mission statement and describe how you'd run the new club, shop it to some of your favorite like minded people and off you go.
 
Back
Top