Way, way, way over the top Sam Adams Utopia clone - #2

[babalu87]

all I did Babalu is bump the smoked slightly... not much but slightly.

The Cara's should add a fair amount of body and some sweetness. The Red especially should turn the beer a real deep amber.

And if that's the case Babalu on the Cherry... I might knock it down to 2 or 2 1/2 pounds on a ten gallon batch. I'm not looking for a ton of smoke. I want it to absolutely be there I want it to blend nicely instead of being the overwhelming focus.

I'm gonna to ten gallons so... I dunno... we'll see.

Why did I say anything ............................

 

[Cape Brewing]

Why did I say anything ............................

Because deep down... you're a good person... and you know, unlike you, I don't like my smoked beers to taste like I'm chewing on a peice of wet firewood.

 

[babalu87]

Because deep down... you're a good person... and you know, unlike you, I don't like my smoked beers to taste like I'm chewing on a peice of wet firewood.

I know one thing
I now rue the day I ever got a water report.

One more thing to **** around with now............................

In the interest of being honest
My water is ****ing awesome

Its the fiddling around part for certain styles that I am confused on right now.

There has to be a calculator out there where you put in your water and the target water VOILA' it tells you what to put in ....................

 

[Cape Brewing]

yeah... good luck with that.

 

[paulthenurse]

Morning!

Doesn't Kai have a calculator for that?


PTN

 

[korgman]

Alright, here's a question from a new brewer (only about 6 months in doing this). If you keep adding fermentables (the maple syrup), how do you measure the ABV? Do you take a hydrometer reading before you add the maple, figure out what has converted so far, then add the maple, get a new hydro reading, then come back in a few days and take another hydro reading? Wash, rinse, repeat? I'm just thinking, if you keep adding fermentables, the grav reading has to go back up a little...right?

 

[paulthenurse]

You are only adding X amount of fermentables. X will give Y % alcohol. You just need to know what you are adding and do the math.

 

[babalu87]

Morning!

Doesn't Kai have a calculator for that?


PTN

Yes but it requires you to add the salts and its a bit like a Rubiks cube.
Make one wrong move and your ****ed

I do have KICK ASS water though

Sodium................................ 14
Potassium............................. <1
Calcium...................................14
Magnesium...............................3
Total Hardness CaCO3...............48
Nitrate......................................1.0
Sulfate.......................................4
Chloride....................................15
Carbonate..................................<1
Bicarbonate HCO3......................37
Total Alkalinity CaCO3................31
Flouride......................................0.03
Total Iron....................................<0.01
TDS ..........................................110
pH..............................................6.7

 

[paulthenurse]

Kick ass?

Your Calcium Carbonate is 48 ppm! Everyone knows that you NEED 49 ppm before you can make decent beer.

More proof that you bought and rebottled that Baltic Porter.

 

[babalu87]

Kick ass?

Your Calcium Carbonate is 48 ppm! Everyone knows that you NEED 49 ppm before you can make decent beer.

More proof that you bought and rebottled that Baltic Porter.

Find me a bottled one as good as mine and we'll do a triangle test.

 

[eriktlupus]

dangitt!!! i think our utopia is oxygen deprived:cross: it seems to be stuck at a very high gravity after a short fermentation period. need to go borrow a O2 tank.

 

[paulthenurse]

Hit it with the O's and rouse the yeast up off the bottom.

Where are you stuck at?

PTN

 

[Cape Brewing]

welp... just finishing up that smoked ale. Got a super late start since I was hunnnnnngover from last night. PHEW... my head felt funny last night.


Anyway... yeah, smoked ale is all set. All I gotta do is hit it with some oxygen... oh... wait.. that's right... YOU FUKCNUTS STILL HAVE MY O2 STONE.

Thanks. That's helpful

 

[Cape Brewing]

Niiiiiice... I ran out over lunch and grabbed just a couple pounds of speciality grains and a bit of hops I needed so I can make a Black IPA tomorrow. I'm pysched. I've been looking forward to trying this recipe. I can't wait to finish it, hit it with some O2 and let it ferme...

oh...

that's right. Still don't have my O2 stone back yet.

Awesome.

 

[paulthenurse]

Hey Chris,
better go check on the baby, I swear I hear her crying in the other room.

 

[bigjohnmilford]

Well said Jay

The OEM Utopias is probably fermented too warm. Also has a bit of Soy Sauce thing going on (CB might call that Poo flavor)
If this years is as good as last years what do I have to do to get a bottle or two?
I can only imagine what that stuff is going to be like after a few years aging.
Someone should take a gallon of that and put it on oak cubes.

It was nice watching them all throw you under the bus for the boil overtoo.
I watched you keeping an eye on two keggles at full boil but you walk away for a second and one turns into Mt Vesuvius.
Nice guys

Good to see all of you (cant believe how many HBT'ers there were there)
Big John, glad you FINALLY got to try THE Baltic Porter. I hope it was worth the wait.

Hippy passed out , woulda thunk
I though I was at church with him and that cup.....................

It was worth the wait. Hope to see everyone again soon

 

[yeager1977]

Finally brewing my freakin' smoked ale this weekend.

Are you putting the charred wood from your "incident" into the mash tun to get that wonderfully real smoky flavor?

 

[yeager1977]

BY the way our gravity is a bit stuck..... (1058) Probably going to add some ec1118 yeasties again....

 

[paulthenurse]

Are you putting the charred wood from your "incident" into the mash tun to get that wonderfully real smoky flavor?

Wow! Yeager gettin' all full of himself and diss'in CB! He must have gooten layed and started feeling all cocky!

CB, you gonna put up with that? You gonna let Yeager diss you like that?

PTN

 

[yeager1977]

CB need your stone(s) back? Your wife told me last night you have been B&^%$in about it. We know who really holds your stone....

 

[Cape Brewing]

Getting my O2 stone back would be cool.

 

[yeager1977]

Oh you want that back too? Ok. We can meet up this wekend if you like.

 

[paulthenurse]

Brian,
if you really need it immediatley I'll go by Yeagers on my way home from Wawa and bring it over Apparently Yeager isn't allowed out of the house at night and he can't drive the two f'ing miles to your house to bring it back. I didn't even know you had brought it. Thanks. I'll get it to you today

PTN

ps
do me a favor and show Courtney Yeagers posts. Now THAT would be funny! His balls would make her a nice pair if earings.

 

[yeager1977]

Seriously Brian, if you need it ASAP I am home all day tomorrow with the kids, but can probably bring it by when my wife gets home. It is on my kitchen counter.

And when I said your wife told me you were asking about the stone, I was referring to PTN.

 

[Cape Brewing]

That stupid for you to make the trip Paul. And no, it's not the end of the world. I brewed this past weekend I could have used it and I had planned on brewing today but, shockingly, it didn't happen. Busy with work stuff and I really need to do some ":Beer housekeeping" anyway. I gave the rig a big time cleaning. I cleaned, sanitizied and filled four kegs and then cleaned all of the carboys.

blah blah blah... anyway... I'm brewing again this weekend so I would like to get it back by then.

 

[yeager1977]

OK then lets get together for a beer. You give me beer I release the stone.....

 

[paulthenurse]

And when I said your wife told me you were asking about the stone, I was referring to PTN.

(dictated by PTN; transcribed by spawn, PTN driving)


You f-ing weasle! Actually I take that back, you're a worm, weasles have back bones! Calling you a weasle gives weasles everywhere a bad name! You spineless piece of whale sheet! You were too talking smack about his wife, until you remembered that she could kick your ass with one hand tied behind her back! At that point your vertebrae turned to jello and your balls sucked so far up into your body cavity that you gagged on them! You make me sick! I hope she beats you so hard your mother cries!

PTN

(Dear Mr. Yeager, I read what you wrote and I have
to agree with my dad, you really are a weasle...)
Beth aka Spawn

 

[paulthenurse]

Dear Mr. Yeager,
I'm coming back from skiing with my Dad and he was telling me all about his "special" Internet friends like you and Cape Brewing. I asked
him where you guys came up with your names, as
I know your real name is Chris. He told me you named yourself after Chuck Yeager.


...Are you serious?


I saw "The Right Stuff", Chuck Yeager broke Mach1 with broken ribs. I bet you go home from work sick if you get a papercut. You make J.D. Drew look like Cal Ripkin!

Yeager? What a joke.

Beth aka Spawn

 

[paulthenurse]

And as for you, Mr. Cape Brewing... Captian Tapdatass?!

Really? Let's keep it classy and try not to give in to our juvenille sexual fantacys.

The Spawn

 

[Cape Brewing]

And as for you, Mr. Cape Brewing... Captian Tapdatass?!

Really? Let's keep it classy and try not to give in to our juvenille sexual fantacys.

The Spawn

please... that's f'in GOLD.... and the fact that he then apparently asked afterwards why he kept being referred to as "Captain"??

absolute... freakin'... GOLD.

And if you were really the spawn of PTN you'd think that was some funny **** too.

... actually... "fantacys" ??? Yup... you're the spawn of PTN.

 

[yeager1977]

Yeager? What a joke.

Better than admitting that you are related to PTN...

 

[yeager1977]

And as for you, Mr. Cape Brewing... Captian Tapdatass?!

Really? Let's keep it classy and try not to give in to our juvenille sexual fantacys.

The Spawn

So what are they actually teaching you out at college in upstate New York???? How to be a dumb hick like your dad? They obviously don't teach spelling or proper grammar. Captian? fantacys? Come on!!!!!!!!!

Oh and one other thing, ANY thread with your father posting is extremely NOT classy. Classless... sure..... but not classy.....

 

[yeager1977]

I just talked to PTN on the phone and he said his daughter asked him how to spell "fantasies" and he told her it was "fantacys".... All I have to say is the apple really does not fall far from the tree..... Probably the same apple that hit them both on the head....

 

[paulthenurse]

I'm gonna hit you on the head and it won't be with an apple.

PTN

 

[paulthenurse]

Couple of things...

Yeager promised me he would take a gravity reading today. He said he couldn't do it yesterday because his daughter 'had the poop-sies' and he had 'washed her hieney' in the morning. I need to have my head examined for brewing with this guy.

And as you may have heard, I ended driving Hippie to Ipswich after the boil (sort of like driving to Wyoming only longer) because he was 'napping' in a corner, missed the last train and his phantom 'other option' ride home didn't materialize. What I didn't mention (because it didn't even register at the time) was that we stopped at a 7/11 on the way cause the Hippie said he needed to get a few things. Apparently it was caught on tape [ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pR28tmVAo-A"]here[/ame].

I REALLY need new friends.

PTN

 

[paulthenurse]

Ya know, take away the stacks of Pringles and Mountain Dew and put up a few IV poles and defibrillators and that looks remarkably like a Friday night at my ER.

PTN

 

[Hippie]

If nothing else tells you just how drunk I was, the beer I tried to buy came in a suitcase... The part that you can't enjoy because the audio was dubbed over was Paul in the parking lot leaning on the horn the entire time shout slurring "Beef jerky! Benevolent Napoleon needs beef jerky!" over and over and over. Half of the times I failed to get up was because I was laughing so hard at my idiot driver! Thankfully they know me there or we could have been in some real trouble.

And the reason I didn't catch a ride with Sumo at 4:30ish was Paul's insistence that they would be done by "7 or 8" not 11.

 

[paulthenurse]

And everyone can clearly see that you came out emptyhanded. Damned good thing fr you that I am a benevolent Napoleon or it would have been off to the guilletine for you!

PTN

 

[yeager1977]

SO PTN made me take another gravity reading. He has no frickin patience.... its at 1053 down 0006 points and I added about 2 pounds of maple syrup and two ec1118 champagne yeasts

 

[paulthenurse]

I made you take another gravity reading so we would know what the beer was doing. Or, as I suspected, WASN'T doing. That's why you watch it closely in the beginning. So that when it only drops 6 one thousanths in two weeks you can add some 1188 to kick it in the pants. Just like I seem to need to kick you in the pants to get you to do anything.

Why do I do this to myself?

PTN

How did it taste?

You DID taste it, right? Please tell me you didn't pour out the sample in the hydrometer flask without tasting it.