The "Dear" , "Sincerely" thread

[Yoseff]

Dear toddler,
I know they look the same on the clock, but, I assure you, 12 AM and 12 PM are completely different times of the day.
Sincerely,

Your sleep deprived father who has to be at work by 2 AM.

 

[Billy-Klubb]

Dear Boss's Throat,
ka-PLOW!!!

Sincerely,
My Floccin' Fist

 

[sloanfamilydsm]

Dear work day

Having a private investigator video tape the disassembly of a piece of equipment while a mechanical engineer, lawyer, and an equipment expert look over your shoulder was nothing I expected after the shower sex act I totally performed on to start the day.

Sincerely
Everyday pays the same.

 

[Fedora]

Dear Patience With Everyone Around Me,

Please become a virtue of mine.

Sincerely, Trying Very Hard

 

[hunter_le five]

Dear Future-Me,

It's been a stressful week. I'm going to have a few drinks tonight. Deal with it.

Sincerely,

Past-Me

PS: "A few drinks"? I mean ALL the drinks. Suck it.


Sent from my iPad using Home Brew

 

[Newsman]

Dear idiots in other departments,
Please quit being anal-retentive ******** rejecting things for petty ****!

 

[hunter_le five]

Dear Future-Me,

It's been a stressful week. I'm going to have a few drinks tonight. Deal with it.

Sincerely,

Past-Me

PS: "A few drinks"? I mean ALL the drinks. Suck it.

Dear Past-Me,

Nnnnngrggggggrhhhh.....

F*** YOU. WHy???

Sincerely,

Present-Me

 

[b-boy]

Dear idiots in other departments,
Please quit being anal-retentive ******** rejecting things for petty ****!

You forgot to sign this. How will they know who it's from?

 

[Zepth]

Dear cyclists.
You aren't pedestrians.
Sincerely, anonymous observer

 

[WildGingerBrewing]

Dear company i interviewed with twice today,

Yes. I fvcking killed it. Make me a huge goddamn offer.

Signed,

Sick of the bullsh1t

 

[Komocabo]

Dear toilet paper,

Thank you for years of service when people just wipe **** all over you.

Sincerely,
Right hand

 

[JINKS]

Dear Cellphone Driver,
Take the phone off your ear and concentrate on driving, your phone conversation is not more important than the rest of our lives.

Sincerely,
The person you cut off this morning with your distracted driving.

 

[soccerdad]

Dear Beer

Why do you always make me wait? You know I love you, Baby. I want us to be together forever. I want you so bad. But it's always, 'wait another day' with you. Or even 'wait until next week.' I made you what you are you know. Before I came along you were nothing but a bag of grain.

Sincerely, Frustrated Brewer

 

[sburnt]

Dear Northern Brewer, Bargain Fittings, Spike Brewing, MoreBeer, Brewers Hardware, and LHBS,

Thank you for relieving me of the burden of my hard-earned cash and all my free time and replacing it with liquid deliciousness,

Sincerely,

Guy who can't stop "improving" his brewing setup

 

[jhoneycutt]

Dear Kansas state football team,
thank you for not winning tonight. I know it was rough but someone had to lose and you did it well.
sincerely Auburn football fan.

 

[Calichusetts]

Dear HBTs that don't like IPAs or think its a fad;

We get it, they are hoppy...we already knew that. We don't need to hear about it in 5 new threads a week. Just talk about what you like.

Sincerely,
HBTs that don't create "too malty" or "too yeasty" threads

 

[PackerfaninSanDiego]

You forgot to sign this. How will they know who it's from?

cuz he is one of those idiots?

 

[Cheesy_Goodness]

Dear morning runners who run in the bike lane instead of the sidewalk on a 4 lane highway,

Just wanted to let you know, the bike lane is for obnoxious bikers, not obnoxious runners.

Sincerely,
The morning commuter that could easily move two feet to the right and rudely interrupt your Barry Manilow mix by running your ass over.

 

[sfrisby]

Dear jhoneycutt,

War Eagle!

Sincerely, sfrisby

 

[jhoneycutt]

Dear jhoneycutt,

War Eagle!

Sincerely, sfrisby

Dear sfrisby,
That is correct, WAR EAGLE!!!

Sincerely, jhoneycutt

 

[TheCADJockey]

Dear Lady in the office that just got a new i-phone,

I don't care! None of us care! Shut up..shut up.. shut up.. I'm going to stab you with my T-Square.

Sincerely,
The guy with the big metal t-square

 

[Billy-Klubb]

Dear Underwear,

Pbpbpbbtttttt!!!

Sincerely,
My Butt

 

[WildGingerBrewing]

Dear errbody,
Yes. Working from home means beers and cigars before lunch.
Sincerely,
Guy winning life today

 

[Komocabo]

Dear Guy winning life today,

Thanks for rubbing that in my face. I'm stuck at work eating a scrappy sandwich, wishing for a beer.

Sincerely,
Jealous guy still at work

 

[EthanH]

(Just to keep it light in here...)

Dear St. David's ER staff (esp PA Felipe),

Thanks for doing such a good job stitching up my little girl after she ran through a sliding glass door last weekend.

Sincerely,
her dad

 

[sloanfamilydsm]

Dear digestive system

I'm sorry for taking you to the world food festival. $1 samples allowed me to put every continent, sometimes twice, into you within an hour. Please be gentle when allowing the Heinz 57 of a meal exit

Sincerely
A man hoping for a kind ending

 

[Billy-Klubb]

Dear sloanfamilydsm's Underwear,

I'm sorry for your loss.

Sincerely,
Bwahahahahhahahaha!!!!!!!

 

[bberg]

Dear body,

I don't regret the taco bell I just inhaled...

Yet.

Sincerely,
Your brain

 

[riderkb]

Dear Thread Starter,

I hate how much time I wasted reading your dumb ass thread. Please help me stop.

Sincerely,
Junky

 

[PackerfaninSanDiego]

Dear Roger Goddell,

you said you are responsible and you are accountable. Well, do us all a favor and do that by getting the **** out of here, as the Commissioner.

Sincerely, 90% of all football fans

 

[Singletrack]

Dear Horsers,

Please either pick up after your animal like every other pet owner, or keep your filthy horse off the trails. Would you like me to bring my dog to dump on your sidewalk?

Sincerely,

Tired of Hiking and Riding Through Your Horse Excrement

 

[Hamaki]

Dear Weekend Biker,

Please refrain from roaring your new Harley at 120dB along my quiet country road with twenty of your friends every weekend. I understand that you've waited a long time for your mid-life crisis and that you've worked hard to earn enough disposable income to afford this phallic symbol but frankly, none of us here are favorably impressed.

Sincerely,

A horser who keeps his ride and the offensive byproducts at home

 

[Colorowdy]

Dear me,
Edit.
Sincerely left devil

 

[Billy-Klubb]

Dear People,

I hate you.

Sincerely,
Anti-Nowhere League

 

[WildGingerBrewing]

Dear Founders Porter and Alec Bradley cigar,

Thank you for being so yummy

Sincerely,
Happy On the Porch

 

[Zepth]

Dear clown who decided the fillet knife in this set should be serrated,

What the hell?

Sincerely, Disappointed End User.

 

[SpikeBrewing]

Dear Northern Brewer, Bargain Fittings, Spike Brewing, MoreBeer, Brewers Hardware, and LHBS,

Thank you for relieving me of the burden of my hard-earned cash and all my free time and replacing it with liquid deliciousness,

Sincerely,

Guy who can't stop "improving" his brewing setup

Our pleasure

 

[Hoppity]

Dear Parent at "Meet the Teachers Night" in September:

I'm here tonight to tell you about the course I'm teaching, what is expected and how your child can flourish. I have no idea which one is yours and how they are doing so far. That is what Parent-Teacher conferences are designed to accomplish and they come later in the year.

Sincerely,
Your Child's Teacher

 

[Singletrack]

Sincerely,



A horser who keeps his ride and the offensive byproducts at home

It was a tough brew day for me today, and only your use of "horser" (and a few home brews) could make me laugh. Agree about the loud motorcycles too, but I know I'm unusually sensitive to noise.
Dear BK, Is it asking too much for you to be self cleaning? Sincerely, Ah, it'll just have to wait until tomorrow

 

[HomebrewCraig]

Dear wife,

Thank you for tolerating my hobby. Thank you for not grouching at me when the kitchen looks like a meth lab, and allowing the garage fridge to be full of hops, grain, washed yeast and cold crashing buckets. Thanks for tasting my creations and telling me it's the best batch yet.

Sincerely,

Grateful hubby