So I Just Saw Two Squirrels...

Williams 728
Homebrew Talk - Beer, Wine, Mead, & Cider Brewing Discussion Forum

Help Support Homebrew Talk - Beer, Wine, Mead, & Cider Brewing Discussion Forum:

This site may earn a commission from merchant affiliate links, including eBay, Amazon, and others.
El Pistolero

El Pistolero

Well-Known Member
Joined
May 29, 2005
Messages
3,584
Reaction score
17
Location
Houston
...shall we say, "replicating" (nudge, nudge, wink, wink), in my back yard. Needless to say I was outraged as, 1) there are usually children about (thankfully they are in school at the moment) who shouldn't be witness to this sort of behavior, and 2) we have entirely too many squirrels already (obviously) without any further "replication" going on, so I stomped my feet and yelled "Hey, Go Get A Room!", thinking maybe that would run them off. But the little f#@*ers just ran up the tree a bit and continued right on with their business.

So now I'm forced to do something about it, and I can't really shoot them as all I've got is a shotgun (yes, I know I'm a poor excuse for a Texan, save it for another thread) which would of course render the little ba$turds inedible, so I'm wondering what to do. I was thinking about calling the HPD Vice Squad, or maybe just animal control. On the other hand, maybe I should capitalize on this and get ahold of Larry Flint (bound to be a few pervs willing to pay good money for this footage), or maybe Emeril...Onion Glazed Squirrel Flanks anyone? Should go well with a nice Smoked Porter. :drunk:

P.S. Yes I know, "No Pics, It Didn't Happen", but my new Android Smart Phone was getting charged because I'd already used it for five fricking minuted today. :mad:
 
El Pistolero said:
...shall we say, "replicating" (nudge, nudge, wink, wink), in my back yard. Needless to say I was outraged as, 1) there are usually children about (thankfully they are in school at the moment) who shouldn't be witness to this sort of behavior...
Click to expand...

lol I imagine you shaking your fist at the squirrels or throwing a walking stick at 'em... Sooner or later the squirrels will make a great conversation starter for when the kids start asking questions. The squirrels just wanted you to see the totally awesome awesomeness of spring.
 
Its that time of year. I saw a mallard take another duck out of midair and proceed to rape her in the middle of the street as I was trying to leave for work the other day.
 
i was walking with my toddler cousin by the river, she say's "look, a really big duck!" then me "wow, that is really big" just then i see another duck head come out from under the water. "what are they doing?" " um, they're wrestling?... yeah, wrestling, that's something ducks do."
 
Two things:

1. I really, honestly, hope you're joking.

2. You only have 1 lousy shotgun in Texas, and you call yourself "El pistolero" ("the gunman")???:eek:
 
My brother had a terrible injury due to squirrels, so be careful!

He had a gun, but didn't want to use the .22 in the neighborhood (an upscale area of Kansas City) until he felt he finally needed to. He chased the squirrels to get a good shot. They ran up on the roof when they, um, finished their deed. So he got a ladder and followed them. He fell off the roof, breaking his wrist in a few places and needed emergency surgery.

The squirrels laughed and laughed.
 
Yooper said:
My brother had a terrible injury due to squirrels, so be careful!

He had a gun, but didn't want to use the .22 in the neighborhood (an upscale area of Kansas City) until he felt he finally needed to. He chased the squirrels to get a good shot. They ran up on the roof when they, um, finished their deed. So he got a ladder and followed them. He fell off the roof, breaking his wrist in a few places and needed emergency surgery.

The squirrels laughed and laughed.
Click to expand...

I just laughed too!! It appears that I have one more thing in common with squirrels! Sense of humour being the latest thing in common. The love of shoving nuts in my mouth being the first.
 
seabass07 said:
:confused:
Click to expand...

youll learn lol

Was.thinkin the same about the screen name but at least he actually has a gun, just run to you gunshop and get some deer slugs, they'll clean the tree rats for you
 
jbrookeiv said:
BB Gun. End of story.
Click to expand...


When I hear "BB gun" I think of the little toy guns like I had when I was a kid. You know, like the one Ralphie wanted in A Christmas Story.

I have a pellet gun. .177 caliber and you pump it up to ten times for more power. I put a cheap scope on it and kill all kinds of vermin with it. I went cheap- the whole thing cost less than $50.
 
make sure if you use a bb gun to pump it a bunch like bernie said. those little bastards can be hard to kill
 
dataz722 said:
Its that time of year. I saw a mallard take another duck out of midair and proceed to rape her in the middle of the street as I was trying to leave for work the other day.
Click to expand...

FEPC, or "Forced Extra Pair Copulation". Nature is a real mother sometimes....
 
El Pistolero said:
So now I'm forced to do something about it, and I can't really shoot them as all I've got is a shotgun (yes, I know I'm a poor excuse for a Texan, save it for another thread) which would of course render the little ba$turds inedible, so I'm wondering what to do.
Click to expand...

.... i don't see your problem. Blast them with ur shotgun (let them finish first, it would be pretty cruel not to, if u were that squirrel, that's the moment u'd want to go). Unless you sneak up behind them and stick the barrel to their heads, they'll still be edible, since it seems you're intent on eating them
 
McMalty said:
.... i don't see your problem. Blast them with ur shotgun (let them finish first, it would be pretty cruel not to, if u were that squirrel, that's the moment u'd want to go). Unless you sneak up behind them and stick the barrel to their heads, they'll still be edible, since it seems you're intent on eating them
Click to expand...
Those little balls of lead shot hurt my teeth when I bite into them...guess I could use rock salt...that'd season them up all proper.
 
In high school, 2 squirrels jumped up on the window sill and went at it. It was Spanish class, at an all boys Catholic school, and the teacher was hot.
 
El Pistolero said:
...shall we say, "replicating" (nudge, nudge, wink, wink), in my back yard. Needless to say I was outraged as, 1) there are usually children about (thankfully they are in school at the moment) who shouldn't be witness to this sort of behavior, and 2) we have entirely too many squirrels already (obviously) without any further "replication" going on, so I stomped my feet and yelled "Hey, Go Get A Room!", thinking maybe that would run them off. But the little f#@*ers just ran up the tree a bit and continued right on with their business.

So now I'm forced to do something about it, and I can't really shoot them as all I've got is a shotgun (yes, I know I'm a poor excuse for a Texan, save it for another thread) which would of course render the little ba$turds inedible, so I'm wondering what to do. I was thinking about calling the HPD Vice Squad, or maybe just animal control. On the other hand, maybe I should capitalize on this and get ahold of Larry Flint (bound to be a few pervs willing to pay good money for this footage), or maybe Emeril...Onion Glazed Squirrel Flanks anyone? Should go well with a nice Smoked Porter. :drunk:

P.S. Yes I know, "No Pics, It Didn't Happen", but my new Android Smart Phone was getting charged because I'd already used it for five fricking minuted today. :mad:
Click to expand...

I don't see the problem, ever seen National Geographic? Animal Planet, Discovery Channel? If you really feel the need to interrupt the nuptuals of rodents, a water hose with a trigger sprayer cools them off & gives you some entertainment/satisfaction. BB/pellet guns work well too. If you don't have a dog or cat you might go with one of these:
http://www.asseenontvguys.com/bell-and-howell-solar-animal-repeller.aspx
Regards, GF.
 

Latest posts

Back
Top