Ok, since you asked, I'll share. This will be the Cliffnotes version:
Got married at 21, just a few weeks before I began med school. Started out okay, except there were a few tell-tale signs of control/need for possession (well, tell-tale NOW, that is!). Had the occasional raging fight where he would chuck my **** out of the apartment. I thought everybody did that every now and again.
In residency, I took on not one, but TWO moonlighting jobs in addition to my residency duties. I worked, on average, between 85-100 hours per week. He, meanwhile, dropped out of grad school with one year left, but then again he was already into his 6th year of a 4 year program. His big dream was to start an eBay business. Well, that's what he said. Apparently, his bigger dream was to sleep until 2pm, then fool around on the internet until time to berate me when I came home. And since he'd slept all day, he had all kinds of energy to pick a fight with me until the wee hours. (Typical fight: Once I came home, post-moonlighting, after working for over 36 hours straight. He asked how my day was. I said, "Good. A long day, but good. I'm tired." He began to huff, saying "Oh, I guess this means you aren't making dinner again
tonight, either." This conversation occurred. I **** you not.)
Anyway, his narcissism went rampant after he quit his grad program and he started taking it out on me more and more, getting slowly more threatening. Meanwhile, I sure wasn't seeing any of the money I was out making. We were still living check to check. Sad thing is, I was too busy/addled to really notice that part until later. Eventually, he got physical and I had him thrown out. It took 3 cops to do it.
Being a responsible person, I immediately wanted to know about the bills he was handling, when they were due and all. I didn't want to get dinged for late fees. Never dreamed I'd find what I did: he'd been to the boats. A lot.
$75,000 worth of blackjack losses.
Oh, but what hurt much worse was several charges for "Asian massage parlors". And I actually still have in my possession an actual, Honest-to-God receipt for an escort service. I'd have never dreamed it in a thousand years.
He was the Bible-thumper! (I haven't set foot inside a church since, by the way.)
Believe it or not, tossing him out was only the beginning. He would not let go. The divorce process took over 2 years and he demanded (and got) spousal support. I haven't spoken to him, except through a lawyer, since I chucked him out, but he still emails and calls my cell phone pretty frequently. I never answer him. He never knows if I get the messages or not, but he continues to persist. (and yeah, this IS the short Cliffnotes version!)
Happy ending (pun! Think Asian massage parlor...): I met and married the man of my dreams. I never knew life could be this good. And it is all about respect for each other and giving each other space. We are like peas and carrots! And he helped me assemble my new kegerator!
