I Hate Wineries

[MyCarHasAbs]

First off, don't get me wrong..I do enjoy drinking wine. I however couldn't begin to tell you the difference in a $5 bottle of cabernet and a $100 cabernet.

My fiance enjoys going to wineries, hell we'll probably end up getting married at a winery. But I just wanted to rant about why I dislike wineries so...here it goes.

1) Dressing up - Why in holy hell do I have to dress up and 'act' different (sophisticated and holding a thicker wallet than I really have) in order to go somewhere to consume a particular beverage? That's one of the things I like about breweries. Come as you are, drink, and enjoy yourself.

2) Smutty staff - When they bring you your bottle of wine at the table (if you're sitting down and ordering) they show you the bottle and then pour a small amount in. What is the point in this? Leave the damn bottle on the table. I'm a big boy, I can pour it myself. "is the wine to your liking sir?" "no Watson, it tickles my nostrils funny, send it back".

3) Clientele - Ever walk around and look at people in wineries? Many appear to have their noses stuck straight up in the air. There's just an all around 'pretentious' vibe going on.

</end_rant>

Thoughts?

 

[Mongrel]

First off, don't get me wrong..I do enjoy drinking wine. I however couldn't begin to tell you the difference in a $5 bottle of cabernet and a $100 cabernet.

Upgrade to a $10 bottle of Chilean Cab. It's worth the extra $5. Don't go over $10.

2) Smutty staff - When they bring you your bottle of wine at the table (if you're sitting down and ordering) they show you the bottle and then pour a small amount in. What is the point in this? Leave the damn bottle on the table. I'm a big boy, I can pour it myself. "is the wine to your liking sir?" "no Watson, it tickles my nostrils funny, send it back".

Bottles can go bad.

I agree on the dressing up part. Wear what you want. And yeah, I prefer breweries too.

 

[madscientist451]

Hey, bro, sounds like you ran out of home brew. If you were in my neighborhood,
I'd say come over and drink a bomber of imperial stout and forget about the winery BS. If your lady friend likes to hang with you and go to bars and breweries, why not chill and go along on her wine thing? Just spend time gazing at her and think about positive stuff like what you going to do when you get back home.
Life too short to take it up with negativity; relax, get a homebrew, forget about wine snobs or beer snobs or any other snobs, and try to enjoy life.

 

[m_c_zero]

Came across a winery where the guy makes mostly all of his wine in 5 gallon ale pales. Definitely different atmosphere than what people are accustomed to for wineries.

 

[JonM]

Or find the guys at the winery who have been reluctantly dragged there by their SWMBOs and talk sports with them.

 

[NickTheGreat]

I kinda like wineries, and in fact got married in a winery. Something about all the plants outside, with the typically rustic looking buildings. Something about that appeals to me.

But I've never encountered any of the three you mentioned. Oh sure, the occasional wine snob, but nothing too bad.

And I did get dressed up for my wedding at the winery, so I'll give you that too

 

[BHebert]

Next time they present the cork for you to smell, take a bite out of it. That should stir them up.

 

[MyCarHasAbs]

Next time they present the cork for you to smell, take a bite out of it. That should stir them up.

Best comment of the day! lol!!!

 

[MyCarHasAbs]

I don't mind going with her, especially when we meet another couple there but aside from tagging along I just generally don't care for the atmosphere.

 

[hunter_le five]

I love (red) wine, but I don't pretend to have any sort of a refined palate for it.

I've been to a few wieneries(sp), and I found them all to be rather boring and pretentious, so I sympathize. The only part I enjoyed was the part where we actually *drink* the wine, but even then they try to suck all the fun out of it. At one they made us (as a group) go through a 27 step process on how to "properly" taste the wine.

1. Hold your pinky out at all times
2. Swirl the wine around your glass whilst thinking smug thoughts
3. Let out a delicate supervillian chuckle
4. Thrust a nose into the glass and inhale deeply. If you don't drink some of the wine through your nostrils, you are doing it wrong
5. Take a second to admire the wine's legs
6. Admire them, dammit
7. Hold the glass up to your lips as if you are about to take a sip, but don't actually do it yet. You have to wait until the wine drops its guard.
8. With your free hand, make some erratic motions behind the glass to draw the wine's attention away from your face
9. Quickly now, while the wine's distracted, dart your tongue into the glass and lizard-lick the wine to get an initial taste.
10. Having got a sense of you, the wine will now allow a fuller taste. Pour a small amount of wine in your mouth.
11. First taste the wine with the front of your tongue,
12. and then the back.
13. Then alternate the left and right regions seven times,
14. and return to the front.
15. If at any point you hit your taste buds out of order, pour out the wine and start over.
16. Swish the wine around your cheeks and gargle like mouth wash
17. Keep gargling. Gargle harder dammit.
18. Now you can swallow. Notice how half of what you are swallowing at this point is saliva.
19. Regurgitate into your glass and swallow again to get a second opinion
20. Put at least one finger in your butt.
21. - 26. ????
27. Profit

I may be misremembering, but it was something like that. I would've enjoyed the tours a lot more if they had talked more about the actual fermentation process, but that seems to always consist of "Look at these shiny tanks. Okay. Moving on...." All they want to talk about is grapes, and my eyes glaze over.

Breweries are so much better. Much more laid back.

 

[Zuljin]

Hey! I drink with my pinky up, but we all have different reasons for that.

 

[D-Train]

My wife and I are visiting California wine country in 5 weeks. She gets to decide wineries to visit, and my only stipulation is that we ARE going to the Russian River brewpub.

I didn't even consider that I might have to dress up. Interesting. I suppose I have to practice my wine spitting technique too

 

[Pappers_]

First off, don't get me wrong..I do enjoy drinking wine. I however couldn't begin to tell you the difference in a $5 bottle of cabernet and a $100 cabernet.

My fiance enjoys going to wineries, hell we'll probably end up getting married at a winery. But I just wanted to rant about why I dislike wineries so...here it goes.

1) Dressing up - Why in holy hell do I have to dress up and 'act' different (sophisticated and holding a thicker wallet than I really have) in order to go somewhere to consume a particular beverage? That's one of the things I like about breweries. Come as you are, drink, and enjoy yourself.

2) Smutty staff - When they bring you your bottle of wine at the table (if you're sitting down and ordering) they show you the bottle and then pour a small amount in. What is the point in this? Leave the damn bottle on the table. I'm a big boy, I can pour it myself. "is the wine to your liking sir?" "no Watson, it tickles my nostrils funny, send it back".

3) Clientele - Ever walk around and look at people in wineries? Many appear to have their noses stuck straight up in the air. There's just an all around 'pretentious' vibe going on.

</end_rant>

Thoughts?

Man, you're going to the wrong wineries (or at least different wineries than I do). I dress in jeans or shorts, the wait staff are friendly, and people are friendly. Maybe its a Midwest thing.

 

[podz]

Don't sweat, man, we've got people who have seen beer that has hands. No ****, they have seen, with their magical powers, beer that pours itself! Next thing you know, they'll say that such and such beer is "intellectually satisfying" :fro:

 

[DonRikkles]

I agree with Pappers - you're going to the wrong wineries. Every winery I've been to in California, Tennessee, and Virginia have been the types of places that encourage picnics and bonfires with a come-as-you-are attitude. Sure, there's opportunity for wine tasting and education, but I didn't take their suggestions and observation of the wine in my glass and the grapes that produced it any differently than a brewer discussing a hop profile or any other technical info you'd get a brewery tour.

I love wine, not as much as I love beer, but wine is fantastic. I think you'd be better off at some more relaxed wineries.

 

[gratus fermentatio]

Yep, you're going to the snooty wineries alright. Try one like this:
http://www.stechapelle.com/winery
Click on events & scroll down, in addition to concerts in summer, they'll take you fishing & whitewater rafting! That's wine done Idaho style. Ordinarily this is where Id say something like "Suck it California!," but since they just had a big earthquake there, I'm trying to be nice.
Regards, GF.

 

[Cathedral]

Man, you're going to the wrong wineries (or at least different wineries than I do). I dress in jeans or shorts, the wait staff are friendly, and people are friendly. Maybe its a Midwest thing.

Amen to that. I've been to a ton of wineries from Michigan to Maine and never once felt snobbed or out of place.

I've also never once spit out my wine, nor have I ever seen anyone else. Wineries are just as fun as breweries after a few "samples."

 

[drainbamage]

I'll admit I'm also not a wine person. I enjoy a dry red wine on occasion, but I also find myself at a loss picking out most of the minutiae at a tasting.

Man, you're going to the wrong wineries (or at least different wineries than I do). I dress in jeans or shorts, the wait staff are friendly, and people are friendly. Maybe its a Midwest thing.

+1. There are quite a few wineries in my area, and all the ones I've been to have been very laid-back. Then again, most of them are family-owned operations out of a converted farmhouse, where everyone hangs out on the patio having a good time and the owner will come over and strike up a conversation. There is one place that has a bit of a reputation for snobbery to the people that don't look like "their type", but I haven't been there to comfirm.

For that matter, even the handful of wineries I visited in Napa and Sonoma Valley weren't really up-your-a** pretentious. They certainly took it more seriously than around here, but still seemed pretty open to answering any questions you'd have.

 

[Misplaced_Canuck]

No idea where OP has been going, but in my 3 visits to Napa/Sonoma + Oregon, I always wore jeans and a sport shirt, or shorts if it was warm. Sure there are a few pompus jerks out there but they are far and few.

I can easily tell the difference between an 85 pt wine and a 90 pt wine, but when it's between 90 and 100, the differences are quite subtle, and the price difference usually outrageous!

Spitting out the wine... I don't think I've ever done this but once (and it was because the wine REALLY was terrible). Some folks prefer to do this as to not get a buzz while tasting wine. Not a bad idea if you're going to sample 20 wines in a day.

MC

 

[Swiller]

First off, don't get me wrong..I do enjoy drinking wine. I however couldn't begin to tell you the difference in a $5 bottle of cabernet and a $100 cabernet.

If you can't tell the difference, stick with beer... I sure the hell can tell the difference' but there are some good cheap wines out there; however the best wines I've had were rated in the mid 90s with wine spectator, and they were expensive.

My fiance enjoys going to wineries, hell we'll probably end up getting married at a winery. But I just wanted to rant about why I dislike wineries so...here it goes.

1) Dressing up - Why in holy hell do I have to dress up and 'act' different (sophisticated and holding a thicker wallet than I really have) in order to go somewhere to consume a particular beverage? That's one of the things I like about breweries. Come as you are, drink, and enjoy yourself.

I've been to a lot of wineries, never once have I dressed up nor have I acted different. I simply went, sampled, and moved on... Most the time I've enjoyed myself and friends with me. Some people enjoy getting dressed up for these things. Maybe it's your GF encouraging this not the winery.

2) Smutty staff - When they bring you your bottle of wine at the table (if you're sitting down and ordering) they show you the bottle and then pour a small amount in. What is the point in this? Leave the damn bottle on the table. I'm a big boy, I can pour it myself. "is the wine to your liking sir?" "no Watson, it tickles my nostrils funny, send it back".

For you to try it to assure the bottle is still good. You realize aged wine can turn into vinegar, rights? Maybe you're a little dramatic?

3) Clientele - Ever walk around and look at people in wineries? Many appear to have their noses stuck straight up in the air. There's just an all around 'pretentious' vibe going on.

...your reasons for hating wineries seem to be very personal and not a general reason...

Bottom line, if you can't tell the difference between a mid 90 rated $100+ bottle of wine to an off the shelf mass produced $5 bottle, you shouldn't bother posting your opinions.

 

[slacker1]

No, no, no, no. You're doing it all wrong. For the true winery experience, you have to book a flight to Frankfurt and from there to the Wine Route in southern Germany. This trail has wineries about every 100 yards with their attendant vineyards. Do this in October when the neue wine is being produced and consumed. It is sweet like grape juice, but packs a kick. A real treat is the local seniors who come in with their wicker bottles for taking home, but use the occasion as a chance to sample the wine along with a soft pretzel.

If you go at the right time in October, you can spend some time at Oktoberfest in Munich as well at the winefest in Dusseldorf. The winefest is amazing.

My son-in-law's father who is German, decided to get fit and ride the Wine Route on his new bike. Apparently, when he didn't arrive home in time for dinner, his family sent out a search party. Apparently he had stopped at every winery on his route and had accomplished about a mile or two before he had to pull over and have a long nap.

 

[rmyurick]

A couple more Cal. wineries that are laid-back (and GOOD): Cline (lower Sonoma), and Ridge (Cupertino--up in the hills--watch out for bicyclists on the switchback roads, but when you get up there, it's awesome).

 

[LakeErieMonster]

Here in NE Ohio we have the highest concentration of wineries per square mile and I havent been to one like how you described. In fact, I would say I have ran into more snobby people in the beer community and in breweries than I have at any of the wineries.

Also, the little bit they pour is to give you a taste to verify the wine isnt contaminated with off flavors emanating from the cork. Its kind of like letting you sample a 6 pack of beer before you buy it to verify it isnt oxidized (if only that was a thing...)

I doubt you complain when you go to a bar/brewery and the waiter/bartender pours your beer into a glass for you.

How would you react to someone if they said they couldnt tell the difference between a coors light and an (insert excellent craft beer here)? You would disregard their opinion on beer, breweries, and beer drinkers as fast as possible.

You sir are the winery equivalent of the person in the bar with a coors calling someone with an IPA or a stout a b**** for not drinking a "man's beer".

Have a homebrew and chill.

 

[SuliBrew]

Been to Napa and Sonoma many times. Typically just go to Sonoma now.
+1 Cline. Another fun one is Benziger. good tours nice folks.

 

[bernardsmith]

My experience at upstate NY wineries has been very different. No one dresses up, no one I've met appears to be snobbish and here you pay a few dollars and are given wine to taste - not bottles to drink - but perhaps wine in the Finger Lakes or near Niagara Falls is drunk more for taste and quality than as a statement about the drinker's wealth and status..

 

[WI_Wino]

A couple more Cal. wineries that are laid-back (and GOOD): Cline (lower Sonoma), and Ridge (Cupertino--up in the hills--watch out for bicyclists on the switchback roads, but when you get up there, it's awesome).

I have to second the Ridge recommendation. We were in town for a wedding and decide to kill some time visiting a winery. Wife neglected to review the hours and the winery was closed to tours and sampling. One of the workers saw us in the parking lot and brought out some wine for us. Pretty sweet. And the wine was excellent but frankly out of my price range.

 

[WI_Wino]

Stupid double post.

 

[Fionnbharr]

2) Smutty staff - ... ... ...

I think you mean "Snooty Staff".

"Smutty Staff" spends its time watching porn.

 

[MyCarHasAbs]

I actually didn't know wine turns into vinegar.... that explains why they want you to taste it first.

And yes, snooty staff lol.
Me..dramatic...? nah.. haha. Okay, maybe sometimes. What..a guy can't rant?

I was on a diet for two months and was told that all I could drink during the week was red wine so I stuck with that but went to like Trader Joes for their 3 buck chuck of cabernet and couldn't tell the difference between that and some of my fiance's father's expensive red wine.

So yea, I'll certainly drink it, I just haven't really understood the point of some of the things you encounter when you go to wineries. Also, I'm in Northern VA and some of the wineries are a bit hoyty toyty.

 

[MyCarHasAbs]

Here in NE Ohio we have the highest concentration of wineries per square mile and I havent been to one like how you described. In fact, I would say I have ran into more snobby people in the beer community and in breweries than I have at any of the wineries.

Also, the little bit they pour is to give you a taste to verify the wine isnt contaminated with off flavors emanating from the cork. Its kind of like letting you sample a 6 pack of beer before you buy it to verify it isnt oxidized (if only that was a thing...)

I doubt you complain when you go to a bar/brewery and the waiter/bartender pours your beer into a glass for you.

How would you react to someone if they said they couldnt tell the difference between a coors light and an (insert excellent craft beer here)? You would disregard their opinion on beer, breweries, and beer drinkers as fast as possible.

You sir are the winery equivalent of the person in the bar with a coors calling someone with an IPA or a stout a b**** for not drinking a "man's beer".

Have a homebrew and chill.

I just wanted you to know that I laughed throughout your entire post.

 

[MyCarHasAbs]

...your reasons for hating wineries seem to be very personal and not a general reason...

Bottom line, if you can't tell the difference between a mid 90 rated $100+ bottle of wine to an off the shelf mass produced $5 bottle, you shouldn't bother posting your opinions.

I'm going to respectfully disagree with you on that one. I may not have the fully acquired taste for wine (i.e. intellectual taste - knowing the difference between wine glass A and B) but my ability to taste has little to do with my overall experience in an establishment. Every winery I've been to thus far in Northern VA and Chateu Morrisette in Southern VA has had a very overall "snooty, snobby" atmosphere. Like..I felt like if I had not been wearing khakis and a polo I would have been escorted out of the building.

Also, as stated above I had no idea wine turns to vinegar. I figured since some bottles are aged for years they really can't go bad until they're opened.

Recently I went on vacation with my fiance and her family (I promise this ties in to my rant). We went to Charleston SC and visited a restaurant there called Husk (btw, kicks ass if you have the $$ to shell out. It's totally worth it!). Her father had a couple glasses of wine and (sp?) Presecco. I had a few craft brews they had from local places in SC and got in to a discussion at the table about beers with someone else we had met there for dinner. On the way back to our beach house her father starts ranting about the guests we had met with for dinner and then said "and btw, it's beer okay, it's just beer". That comment totally pissed me off and I really didn't say anything. He wasn't talking directly to me, he was just talking out loud and mostly to his wife.

In response to that....I certainly don't get wine and while I could say the same about wine as what he said about beer...I can't. Because I know that I'm wrong. I know for a fact there's just as many complex styles of wine as there are beer, maybe even more. But wine to me are like flowers. I smell them and I smell a funeral home or an old church. I know flowers do have scents because girls talk about them all the time. I just don't have the acquired smell receptors or whatever you want to call them. So as for wine, I know there's a lot out there to appreciate, I just don't have the proper taste buds to do so. Despite my complete lack of taste buds for wine, I appreciate it...I just don't care for the wineries I've visited thus far.

Oh and yea, I agree with the guy above...I am totally the person in the bar who sees the guy drinking a Coors and is at the very least 'thinking'..."pansy". I'd probably never say it to their face unless we're close friends and I'm joking but I'm definitely thinking it.

 

[Pappers_]

Some of the folks here might enjoy Oliver Garrett's book The Brewmaster's Table. Its not necessarily aimed at homebrewers, but a more general audience, on the topic of pairing beers with food. He persuasively makes the case that there is far more diversity in beer styles than in wine styles, leading to greater opportunities for pairing.

It might make a good gift for your father-in-law-to-be

I make both beer and wine, I like both.

 

[podz]

I may not have the fully acquired taste for wine (i.e. intellectual taste -

Hate to break it to you, man, but being able to spew bull****, pretentions descriptions out of your mouth or keyboard, i.e. writing taste reviews, has nothing to do with the actual ability to taste. Furthermore, a top notch wine doesn't need to be expensive. For example, Zenato Amarone has consistently been rated over 90 points and a recent vintage will run you 50-60 bucks depending where you buy it (35 EUR for me in Alko). It's a wine that blows most other wines straight to hell and back, year after year, without even trying, and costs _far_ less than almost anything else that rates above 90. Pick up a bottle and you will very quickly realise that you don't need to be a wine connoisseur to understand that this wine is freaking amazing. If you were by chance to drink this wine as your first wine ever, you'd probably think ever other wine you tasted after that was complete garbage. No requirement to wear anything to enjoy this wine -hell, I lay in bed naked with a bottle of it, carving parmesan straight off of the block with a knife. What could be more hedonistic?

Also, as stated above I had no idea wine turns to vinegar. I figured since some bottles are aged for years they really can't go bad until they're opened.

Wine doesn't turn to vinegar unless it's infected with acetobacter yeast. That's not going to happen to any wine that doesn't have a loose cork. Really, the entire ceremony is a pretentious blast from the past, little more than pomp an circumstance.

 

[Zuljin]

He persuasively makes the case that there is far more diversity in beer styles than in wine styles, leading to greater opportunities for.

My wife and I recently went to a beer dinner at BJs, and that was exactly the statement made by BJs and Goose Island.

And since the subject has come up, HBT did put out a call recently for people to write articles on pairing beer and food. Just sayin.

 

[Zuljin]

Hate to break it to you, man, but being able to spew bull****, pretentions descriptions out of your mouth or keyboard, i.e. writing taste reviews, has nothing to do with the actual ability to taste. Furthermore, a top notch wine doesn't need to be expensive. For example, Zenato Amarone has consistently been rated over 90 points and a recent vintage will run you 50-60 bucks depending where you buy it (35 EUR for me in Alko). It's a wine that blows most other wines straight to hell and back, year after year, without even trying, and costs _far_ less than almost anything else that rates above 90. Pick up a bottle and you will very quickly realise that you don't need to be a wine connoisseur to understand that this wine is freaking amazing. If you were by chance to drink this wine as your first wine ever, you'd probably think ever other wine you tasted after that was complete garbage. No requirement to wear anything to enjoy this wine -hell, I lay in bed naked with a bottle of it, carving parmesan straight off of the block with a knife. What could be more hedonistic?




Wine doesn't turn to vinegar unless it's infected with acetobacter yeast. That's not going to happen to any wine that doesn't have a loose cork. Really, the entire ceremony is a pretentious blast from the past, little more than pomp an circumstance.

Okay. There's one wine suggestion. What's another?

I've never been into wine, either. My wife and I tried. We just didn't get it. Dry, bitter, boozey grape juice. Bleh. Is it something you have to learn to like? We may not be interested in that at all. If we don't like it, we don't like it. There's too much great beer to suffer acquiring a taste for wine. But, I'm interested in some HBT favorites.

 

[podz]

Okay. There's one wine suggestion. What's another?

I've never been into wine, either. My wife and I tried. We just didn't get it. Dry, bitter, boozey grape juice. Bleh. Is it something you have to learn to like?

You don't have to learn to like good wine. You like it the first time you try it.

Another awesome wine is Masi Campfiorin. It's near to 90 points and it actually costs around 20 bucks or so.

 

[BrewTech117]

Although I have only been to a few winery i can agree with you on the fact that it does seem more like a "Upper Class" Only type place. However i bet they feel the same when they walk into one of our brew pups lol. So Its just a different atmosphere.

My wife does not like many wines and believe me i have had her try anything from the 1.99 drain cleaners to the 250.00 range.... the ONLY one she will drink now (and forgive me i don't know if i'm spelling it right or if this is even the brand / name of the wine or the "Type") is Liebfraumilch its a German wine and taste fruity but good - Its about 10 bucks a bottle.... lol

 

[MyCarHasAbs]

It might make a good gift for your father-in-law-to-be

I make both beer and wine, I like both.

I like the way you think : D lol


Sent from my iPhone using Home Brew
_____________________________
I once dated a girl who told me I will not drink beer in front of our children. I dumped her the next day.

 

[MyCarHasAbs]

No requirement to wear anything to enjoy this wine -hell, I lay in bed naked with a bottle of it, carving parmesan straight off of the block with a knife. What could be more hedonistic?









Wine doesn't turn to vinegar unless it's infected with acetobacter yeast. That's not going to happen to any wine that doesn't have a loose cork. Really, the entire ceremony is a pretentious blast from the past, little more than pomp an circumstance.

Didn't need to know the first part lol but I appreciate the correction on the second part.



Sent from my iPhone using Home Brew
_____________________________
I once dated a girl who told me I will not drink beer in front of our children. I dumped her the next day.

 

[Stealthcruiser]

Although I have only been to a few winery i can agree with you on the fact that it does seem more like a "Upper Class" Only type place. However i bet they feel the same when they walk into one of our brew pups lol. So Its just a different atmosphere.

My wife does not like many wines and believe me i have had her try anything from the 1.99 drain cleaners to the 250.00 range.... the ONLY one she will drink now (and forgive me i don't know if i'm spelling it right or if this is even the brand / name of the wine or the "Type") is Liebfraumilch its a German wine and taste fruity but good - Its about 10 bucks a bottle.... lol

"Liebfraumilch"......Translates kinda' loosely to "Mothers Milk".
There are some tasty examples along the Mosel River in Germany, and if ya' have the chance to tour along the Mosel, do it!

And make note of all the little Vintners with a sign hanging out that reads "Wein probeirin", aka "Wine probe", or tasting.

You can have a LARGE time up and down the river, and if you tire of it, just think of all the regional beers that are available in the same towns, as close as the local Gasthaus!