Grandmas ring

[pcooper1989]

So my girlfriend and I have been dating for 5 years and I am going to propose to her soon.

My grandma offered me her ring to do it with because my swmbo and her are close. We lived with her when she got sick and had to take care of her an they became good friends.

So question is: is this cheap? I know she will appreciate it because one time I mentioned it (hypothetically at the time) and she started sobbing. I just don't want her to look back later an wish she had her "own".

Anyone do this before? How has it held up?

A little background I am a teacher and she is in nursing school. This will be both of our first marriage.

 

[Sammy86]

You can definitely do it! A buddy of mine who just got married in july used the same ring that had been passed down three generations in his wife's family before it reached him! She loved the ring not only because it was a family heirloom but because he had the diamond set in a new ring.

The diamond is the most important part, so if you're worried about the ring itself get the diamond reset with something more her style.

my .02

 

[Melana]

I'd say go with the ring...

 

[gdbrewer]

So is grandma only offering the ring temporarily for the proposal? If so, I say no, don't do it. Buy her her own ring and propose with it. Now if grandma is going to hand over the ring for your future wife to wear indefinitely, I say do it!

Just my opinion.

 

[pcooper1989]

It would be permanent.

 

[mikescooling]

Not to thread jack, but if she is in nursing school. It may not be the best time to get married. It depends if she is going to have the down time to do it. Just make sure it's not adding stress to a already stressful nursing school students life. I was just in nursing school for the last 18 months and it sucked!!! Very stress full.

 

[LLBeanJ]

Trying to look at it from a female perspective (Okay, as a dude, that's a pretty difficult thing to do, but I have been married for nearly 22 years and have a 20 year old daughter, so whatever that's worth), I'd think your Grandma's ring would be far more cherished by your GF/fiancé-to be than a ring picked out at the jewelry store, especially given her relationship with Grandma. I say go for it.

 

[Mozart]

I agree with just about everyone else.

I don't think it'd be 'cheap' at all, and the sentimental value can't be matched by anything one could purchase.

And, if for some reason you're still worried about 'cheap', you could always put the money you would have spent on an engagement ring toward the wedding, reception, honeymoon, or something else.

 

[TyTanium]

Not cheap at all. There is WAY more value in an heirloom ring than something you just bought at a store.

 

[JonM]

Go for it. Sounds from your description like she'd love it.


And, if for some reason down the road she starts thinking about her "own" ring, you can always have the diamond put in a different setting. (Maybe with a couple other stones of comparable color/clarity. )

 

[AnOldUR]

Anyone do this before? How has it held up?

Did the exact thing. The ring was worth far more than anything I could have afforded at 19 years old. Been married for over 40 years, so guess it didn't hurt any. Now we're just waiting for our kids to give us a grandson to pass the ring along.

(. . . or should we break tradition and give it to the oldest granddaughter?)

 

[JonM]

Oh and congrats!!!

 

[GuldTuborg]

My fiancee has been doing just this since we got engaged. Everyone is different, though. Some girls like new sparklies, some like something with some old, perhaps worn character. Mine happily fell in the latter category, so she got the old ring and me (ha!). I'm sure you'll have a feel for which one your girl is.

 

[Mozart]

I know she will appreciate it because one time I mentioned it (hypothetically at the time) and she started sobbing.

I know I've already chimed in on this thread, but the above quote seems to rather definitively answer the question, doesn't it?

 

[pcooper1989]

Thanks everybody! I felt the same way but needed confirmation.

As for the concern about school, we would not start planning till she was done with it, a long engagement. I am not going to do it right away, the plan is for san diego comic con next year. But if I had to save for one, I would have to start saving now.

Thanks again for the advice. That is why I love this site; helpful people with more experience than myself.