"Also, no need to secondary a cream ale (unless aging on something). Just adding to the potential problem."
In one way you are right and in another way you are wrong and neither have anything to do with aging on something.
It depends on the brewing procedure whether beer is second fermented. When wort is drawn from the single temperature, grain soaking method there is no need to use a second fermentation vessel. The wort is sugar imbalanced being primarily made up of sweet tasting, non-fermenting sugar and glucose (saccharification), and yeast rips through glucose during first fermentation. For that reason home made beer is primed.
When a more advanced brewing method is used, maltose and malto-triose are released (conversion). Beta converts glucose into maltose and malto-triose during the maltose rest and those types of sugar ferment in a different fashion than glucose. During second fermentation another type of conversion takes place. Yeast absorbs maltose through the cell walls and from within, yeast converts the sugar into glucose. The sugar is expelled, fermented and gravity decreases. During aging the same thing occurs with malto-triose and natural carbonation takes place. Since, the beer is void of oxygen, the oxidizer is bound within the molecular structure of the sugar.
When the grain soaking method is used, temperatures indicated on the recipes are not high enough to burst amylo-pectin. The starch is left in the lautertun and it becomes bird feed or dog biscuits. The starch is responsible for body. During dextrinization temperature limit dextrin is released and body forms. Limit dextrin is tasteless, non-fermenting sugar much different than sweet sugar released when Alpha liquefies amylose. Beer produced from the single temperature method lacks body.