Psht...10 days in primary, 2 days in the keg. Drinking it in less than 2 weeks.
I'm impatient as crap, though and generally pick brews that don't need long conditioning.
Stouts/porters/high gravity beers really do better with age, but if you ferment clean you could go grain to glass in less than a week if you brewed a low enough gravity beer.
There really are no rules when it comes to brewing...keep that in mind.