Ever try to do something nice and it backfires

[CreamyGoodness]

Yesterday on my way home, I was lucky enough to find a seat on the 4 train (glory be). The woman I was sitting next to offered her seat to an elderly gentleman as soon as he got on. Moved by this random act of kindness, I insisted she take my seat in return.

Immediately, the man I had sat her next to began chatting her ear off, and seemed to have more than a healthy dose of what I like to call "the harmless crazy."

She would have been better off standing.

Knowing I had caused enough trouble, I avoided her glower and retreated to the next car.

sigh.

 

[cheezydemon3]

No fault of yours. If she blamed you she is a fool.

Once on a space transport to Zaergon, I gave my seat up to a girl scout travelling alone, who was nearly crying in her desperation to get home.

Apparently.....god help me..... on the journey, she raped and killed most of the crew.

 

[fenderbass]

I once held the door open for a "lady" and she got mad and told me she didn't need some man to hold a door, she could opne it herself.
How was I to know she was one of those feminist nazis....
So now chicks are on their own when it comes to door opening, I don't need that kind of beat-down..

 

[Homercidal]

Shame on you, Creamy. You know you are not allowed to do nice things in NYC!

 

[cheezydemon3]

I once held the door open for a "lady" and she got mad and told me she didn't need some man to hold a door, she could opne it herself.
How was I to know she was one of those feminist nazis....
So now chicks are on their own when it comes to door opening, I don't need that kind of beat-down..

Don't let her WIN!!!!

I hold the door.

If some ****** factory gives you crap laugh it off.


ANYONE who gives you crap is, themselves a more unhappy person than you ever thought of being.

Pity them, and then just let it go.

*damned I am versatile. I can comisserate in the nonsensical and the and the somewhat sensical worlds*

 

[Hella_Sinful]

"No good deed goes unpunished." - Murphy's Law

I do the right thing anyway, and if it bothers them, I will do it again out of spite . . . just the way I am.

 

[TheZymurgist]

I once held the door open for a "lady" and she got mad and told me she didn't need some man to hold a door, she could opne it herself.
How was I to know she was one of those feminist nazis....
So now chicks are on their own when it comes to door opening, I don't need that kind of beat-down..

People say chivalry is dead. It's not dead, it's just hiding out in the same place being lady-like is.

 

[brewingmeister]

Someone obviously didn't read your public transport primer...

 

[CreamyGoodness]

The most awkward backfiring act of kindness I ever saw on the train was when a young guy, maybe 20, offered his seat. A lady who appeared to be about 65 thanked him and sat down. "Oh, I, I'm sorry, ma'am, I meant... this lady"

Standing behind him out of her sight appeared a woman who appeared closer to 80.

Now the older woman felt bad that she was evicting someone from her sat, the somewhat less older lady looked mortified that she had sat down without looking, and the young guy looked a bit embarrassed himself.

 

[Subsailor]

TANJ = There Aint No Justice

 

[squatch]

Not train related but...

On Sundays, on our way home from church, we stop to get a newpaper because my wife likes to browse the coupons. This Sunday, we did not go to church (sick kid). Anyway, mid-afternoon I went to the flea markets in the area and silenced my phone while walking around since I didn't want to be bothered. On my way home, I stopped and thought I would be sweet and get her a paper. I was doing this without being asked and thought it would impressed her that I realized we didn't get our paper like we normally did. It's little things like this that make most women goo-goo.

I bounded into the house with paper in hand expecting and big hug and a thanks. No. She just grunted a quick thanks and plopped down on the sofa to read. I stood there a little confused and she picked up on it.

her: "what's wrong?"
me: "Oh, I was just expecting a bit more thanks from you since I got you a paper without being asked."

She got this really confused look on her face and said, "Without being asked? I sent you a text an 30 minutes ago asking to pick me up a paper."

I pulled my silenced phone out of my pocket and saw the message. She had unwittingly snatched my thoughtful, unprompted gesture of kindness out of my hands.

What's funny is she has the ability to do this ALL THE TIME.

Most men will agree that most women LOVE it when their guy does something without being asked. For example, you notice that the trash can is full and you take it out or the toilet is dirty and you go and clean it. I try to notice stuff like this but most times, I'll be walking to the trashcan to empty it and she'll say, "could you take out the trash?" or I'll get up from the sofa to let the dog out and she'll say, "the dog hasn't been out in a while, why don't you let him out." When I say, "I was going to do that." she thinks I'm being a smart-ass and gets mad at me. It's like I get in trouble for trying to be proactive and nice. It drives me bonkers.

 

[Cromwell]

Heh, that happens to me too. I usually point it out, though. When she says to do something I'm already doing, I usually ask her for detailed instructions on how to do it, since I obviously need them.

But we have to remind ourselves, some people's mouths are directly connected to the speech center of their brain without any filters, so they can't help saying what other people just think. It's cute, if it doesn't drive you nuts.

 

[unionrdr]

Reminds me of a sign mom made & hung over the wall phone at home;" Be sure brain is engaged before putting mouth in gear". I think some women are just pessimistic when they wait till you're doing a thing to ask you to do it. Then geting mad when you make mention of it is just like they're looking for an excuse. They need to get that illusion of power outta their heads.

 

[IXVolt]

Nothing like being b***h slapped with a healthy serving of consideration.

 

[unionrdr]

My typical response to things like that when they get mad is F you very much.

 

[IXVolt]

I usually remark something about how they weren't breast fed as infants.

 

[squatch]

In my case, she asks me to do something as I am walking to do it. I have not started the task or mentioned it. She's not trying to control the situation or tell me how to do it, but she seems to have the uncanny knack of predicting what I'm going to do and ask me to do it, thus making in impossible to prove that I was going to do it on my own in the first place.

 

[Blademaker]

Yup........my neighbor asked me for help with a paper wasp/hornet nest in a tree in her backyard. I reached up and tried to knock it down with a rake.
Wasps were still present.
I ran.
She was slow.
She got stung 4 times.
Now she doesn't ask me for any help with any thing.

 

[jmendez29]

I once held the door open for a "lady" and she got mad and told me she didn't need some man to hold a door, she could opne it herself.
How was I to know she was one of those feminist nazis....
So now chicks are on their own when it comes to door opening, I don't need that kind of beat-down..

I got to see this backfire once. A guy walked through the door and held it open after passing through. The lady behind him gave him the full on feminist berating and he stood there with a mildly apathetic look. When she was done he told her he was holding the door for his elderly father with his walker and she was the rude one who simply walked through without consideration. At which about that time, his father made it through the door. Everyone else around who heard applauded him. It was pretty awesome.

 

[unionrdr]

^^Dots a good von...:rockin:

 

[rgarry]

"No good deed goes unpunished." -

I totally agree

 

[pksmitty]

I once held the door open for a "lady" and she got mad and told me she didn't need some man to hold a door, she could opne it herself.
How was I to know she was one of those feminist nazis....
So now chicks are on their own when it comes to door opening, I don't need that kind of beat-down..

I simply say "I didn't hold the door because you're a lady, I held it because I'm a gentleman".

They typically don't have a response.

 

[Cromwell]

I actually hold the door open for anyone behind me. It just seems polite, no matter what gender the other person is.
But yeah, I can turn ugly in a minute, and if someone rails at me for holding the door open for them, I'll let them know they're contributing the the decline of consideration from one human being to another.

Oh wait, I'm already pretty ugly.