Best News Headlines

[GilaMinumBeer]

Police Officer On LSD Attempts To Save Anti-Masturbation Dolphin Mascot From Imaginary Fire

And /thread

"Fappy the anti-masturbation dolphin"

 

[sweetcell]

Police Officer On LSD Attempts To Save Anti-Masturbation Dolphin Mascot From Imaginary Fire

And /thread

unfortunately it's a satire site, it's not the real CNN (note the url: com.de).

discussion: https://www.reddit.com/r/news/comments/59ndjr/police_officer_on_lsd_attempts_to_save/

 

[afro_lou]

unfortunately it's a satire site, it's not the real CNN (note the url: com.de).



discussion: https://www.reddit.com/r/news/comments/59ndjr/police_officer_on_lsd_attempts_to_save/

Still looks like a headline to me! [emoji12]

 

[HoppyDaze]

Fart Blamed for Causing a Fire During Surgery at a Tokyo Hospital

 

[nmfree]

 

[Homercidal]

And then they helped a guy off his horse...

 

[HoppyDaze]

that is incredible

 

[nmfree]

Ontario farmer mounts toilet to the top of manure spreader's tank

 

[nmfree]

 

[HoppyDaze]

The 112 People Arrested For Protesting Donald Trump’s Election In Portland Yesterday? Half Of Them Didn’t Vote

^Scum of the Earth

 

[afro_lou]

The 112 People Arrested For Protesting Donald Trump’s Election In Portland Yesterday? Half Of Them Didn’t Vote



^Scum of the Earth

The arrestERs, right?

 

[KayaBrew]

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/wedding-ring-stuck-penis_us_582b5d4ae4b01d8a014ad720

 

[Mongrel]

Portland Man Dissolved in Yellowstone Hot Spring Was Apparently Trying to “Hot Pot”

 

[GilaMinumBeer]

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/wedding-ring-stuck-penis_us_582b5d4ae4b01d8a014ad720

Damn.

There goes my anniversary surprise for the wife.

 

[Homercidal]

Portland Man Dissolved in Yellowstone Hot Spring Was Apparently Trying to “Hot Pot”

His name was Colin, but from now on everyone remembers him as "Stu".

 

[GilaMinumBeer]

His name was Colin, but from now on everyone remembers him as "Stu".

I've heard that the therapeutic value of those pools can cause all your troubles to just melt away.

 

[nmfree]

His name was Colin, but from now on everyone remembers him as "Stu".

"Disco Stu, was turned into goo!"

 

[martiniw2olives]

http://thesmokinggun.com/documents/sex/hooker-demands-nachos-648319

 

[nmfree]

 

[KayaBrew]

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/news-anchor-draws-penis_us_582e6411e4b099512f821d07

 

[smurfjuice]

I can see how you could get confused ...

 

[Hanglow]

Plymouth Obliterated By Giant Penis

http://www.exeterexpressandecho.co....er-is-coming/story-29916739-detail/story.html

 

[nmfree]

Florida librarian suing school after toilet explodes, injures her leg

 

[gratus fermentatio]

It just keeps getting weirder & weirder...

 

[Homercidal]

It just keeps getting weirder & weirder...

That's seriously meth'ed up!

 

[KayaBrew]

It just keeps getting weirder & weirder...

I would have chosen the turkey over her as well...

 

[Murphys_Law]

It just keeps getting weirder & weirder...

Well, she did ask him to stuff the turkey!

 

[Homercidal]

You're supposed to inject the bird BEFORE you cook it!

 

[agrazela]

Young, barely dressed, glistening with oil, laid out with legs spread and breast in the air...the bird was asking for it!

 

[nmfree]

Don't forget about the gaping cavity, exposing all her giblets.

 

[sweetcell]

Arrested German spy was a onetime gay porn actor — and a secret Islamist
https://www.washingtonpost.com/worl...c44f1e-e068-4307-8ddf-848fda772306_story.html

 

[HoppyDaze]

Bills Fan Destroys Table, His Own Leg

 

[gratus fermentatio]

"Breaking news..."

 

[KayaBrew]

Southwest Airlines Captain Congratulates Passengers After They Drink All the Plane's Booze

http://jezebel.com/southwest-airlines-captain-congratulates-passengers-aft-1790148787

 

[nmfree]

 

[nmfree]

Florida police arrest man after he tried to break into a home wearing nothing but pants on his arms

 

[day_trippr]

Hunter Accidentally Shoots Himself While Testing Ice Strength With Rifle.

 

[nmfree]

Woman attacks party guest with grandma’s Christmas tree

Be sure to read to the end of the article to see her previous contacts with the police.

 

[day_trippr]

Dog Mauls Owners After They Tried To Dress Him In Sweater

 

[HoppyDaze]

Dog Mauls Owners After They Tried To Dress Him In Sweater

Just when you think there is no justice in this world; this happens. But then the dog get fvcked in the deal anyway. it would be sweet if the dog had the Christmas sweater on in that picture.