Baby Makin'

[firerat]

I've been married now for 5 years and am finally ready to reproduce.

Which means a lot of hanky panky. Which I love.

However, this bangy dangy on a schedule stuff is going to drive me nuts. If you want to get sloppy, let's do it. But my life is schedules. Don;t make my sex life one too!!

Nothing will strip the passion out of some nookie like hearing about ovulation charts and temperatures.

Oh and the new thing, we can only do it once every 3 days so you guys can rebuild. Because you know one of the nurses at work had her 2nd kid that way.

I keep telling her, just shut up about it and let's get to work. But oh no, we have to discuss everything!!

I know poor me. What a horrible problem to have right?

Anyone else ever deal with this?

 

[GilaMinumBeer]

We are on to baby 3 after two boys and a psuedo-miscarriage.

If I'd have played my cards right I could have had her standing on her head, legs spread, and spinning like a top while I glory hole from a hammock if there was any chance that'd sway favors towards having a girl.

 

[firerat]

If I'd have played my cards right I could have had her standing on her head, legs spread, and spinning like a top while I glory hole from a hammock if there was any chance that'd sway favors towards having a girl.

I'm quoting this and telling her your an obstetrician.

 

[GilaMinumBeer]

I'm quoting this and telling her your an obstetrician.

I'm no obstetrician, but I'm willing to have a look.

 

[Rockn_M]

Just get really drunk one night. That's what we did and it turned out fine.

 

[Psylocide]

I'd like it scheduled... take a lot of the guesswork out (on my end).

Just piss her off really bad on the days you're supposed to get it on... nothing like a rage lay.

 

[Roadliner]

I vote for what Rockn said.. a few really drunken nights full of hanky panky and some failed B.C.... jump forward 9 months to little girl

 

[GilaMinumBeer]

I'd like it scheduled... take a lot of the guesswork out (on my end).

Just piss her off really bad on the days you're supposed to get it on... nothing like a rage lay.

I may not know exactly what time of day, but I know I'll get it on the weekend.

For once I'd like her to randomly throw me down and take me like she's neglected.

 

[b-boy]

Hey - you're getting laid. Stop complaining!

 

[NervousDad]

I have two girls and it only took two times to make them... I feel cheated

 

[Psylocide]

I may not know exactly what time of day, but I know I'll get it on the weekend.

For once I'd like her to randomly throw me down and take me like she's neglected.

That's the thing though... I'd like to have time to make my pastrami on rye before it happens.

 

[GilaMinumBeer]

I have two girls and it only took two times to make them... I feel cheated

She's only put out twice? Have you been married less than a year and she had twins?

 

[GilaMinumBeer]

That's the thing though... I'd like to have time to make my pastrami on rye before it happens.

Our priorities are drastically different.

 

[betarhoalphadelta]

Just get really drunk one night. That's what we did and it turned out fine.

My wife and I did that and it worked... Three times!

 

[Jaybird]

2 things.

1 What did you do to NOT have kids for the last 5+ years?
2. Don't do that anymore...The swimmers know what to do!

Your welcome! LOL

Cheers
Jay

 

[Zuljin]

Are you only seeking advice or would you like some help?

 

[NervousDad]

She's only put out twice? Have you been married less than a year and she had twins?

Bad timing, we decided to have kids and the next week my wife was traveling like crazy. 3 weeks later she was pregnant . If they didn't look so much like me I'd worry happened both times. The first was after many martinis.

 

[Roadliner]

Bad timing, we decided to have kids and the next week my wife was traveling like crazy. 3 weeks later she was pregnant . If they didn't look so much like me I'd worry happened both times. The first was after many martinis.

lol I was in the same boat.. I left to travel for work.. a month later I got a call that we were pregnant. Glad everyone says she looks like me haha :cross:

 

[BigPicture]

I'm so potent the girls in my beer club are scared to drink out of the same glass as me.

 

[bacgabe]

Bad timing, we decided to have kids and the next week my wife was traveling like crazy. 3 weeks later she was pregnant . If they didn't look so much like me I'd worry happened both times. The first was after many martinis.

Now I get your username

 

[firerat]

2 things.

1 What did you do to NOT have kids for the last 5+ years?
2. Don't do that anymore...The swimmers know what to do!

Your welcome! LOL

Cheers
Jay

Birth control.

If only it were that simple. Part of the reason she was on birth control, besides the obvious, was to regulate her time I will not discuss.

For reasons that go WAY above my head, this makes conception a bit more difficult for us.

Are you only seeking advice or would you like some help?

Honestly, I just wanted to see if anyone ever did this sex on schedule thing before. It's bizarre to me.

I figured it would spark some humorous responses and so far, I'm not disappointed.

 

[firerat]

double post

 

[b-boy]

Birth control.

If only it were that simple. Part of the reason she was on birth control, besides the obvious, was to regulate her time I will not discuss.

For reasons that go WAY above my head, this makes conception a bit more difficult for us.



Honestly, I just wanted to see if anyone ever did this sex on schedule thing before. It's bizarre to me.

I figured it would spark some humorous responses and so far, I'm not disappointed.

Enjoy it now. When the kid shows up you'll be lucky if you have enough time to even schedule it.

 

[firerat]

Enjoy it now. When the kid shows up you'll be lucky if you have enough time to even schedule it.

Yeah good point.

I've always been a spontaneous kind of person, so scheduled anything I enjoy can throw me off.

But at least I'm getting laid!!

 

[GilaMinumBeer]

Yeah good point.

I've always been a spontaneous kind of person, so scheduled anything I enjoy can throw me off.

But at least I'm getting laid!!

And chances are, beyond the lack time once the baby is here, she may not have much interest. Some women do that and it can be quite an effort to get the interest back.

My wife also took BC for regulatory reasons. Downside was that it also fvcked with her moodswing hormones. Out of 3 pregnancies it took us well over a year to conceive each time. YRMV but, I have heard that this is more common than one would think.

 

[firerat]

My wife also took BC for regulatory reasons. Downside was that it also fvcked with her moodswing hormones. Out of 3 pregnancies it took us well over a year to conceive each time. YRMV but, I have heard that this is more common than one would think.

Well the good thing for us, my mom works in IVF and fertility.

Which makes for REALLY awkward dinner conversations let me tell you.

 

[GilaMinumBeer]

Well the good thing for us, my mom works in IVF and fertility.

Perfect. You can go from having trouble making one to having 5 the first go round. Get em all done up front, I say.

 

[Psylocide]

My wife and I pulled the goalie a few months ago and nothing but "scares" so far. The BC definitely does some weird stuff.

Apparently it happened the first time we tried last time.

 

[Curtis2010]

Birth control.

If only it were that simple. Part of the reason she was on birth control, besides the obvious, was to regulate her time I will not discuss.

For reasons that go WAY above my head, this makes conception a bit more difficult for us.



Honestly, I just wanted to see if anyone ever did this sex on schedule thing before. It's bizarre to me.

I figured it would spark some humorous responses and so far, I'm not disappointed.

There is a comedian who does a funny routine about it, forget who, he jokes about cowering in the corner, whimpering like a little girl, while his wife shoves little blue pills down his throat.

 

[firerat]

Perfect. You can go from having trouble making one to having 5 the first go round. Get em all done up front, I say.

Me and you, we're not friends anymore....

 

[Curtis2010]

Yeah good point.

I've always been a spontaneous kind of person, so scheduled anything I enjoy can throw me off.

But at least I'm getting laid!!

Count yourself lucky, my step-daughter and step-daughter-in-law (?) are trying to get pregnant...no fun for them...just purely technical.

Imagine what you are going thru...without the sex. :-(

 

[GilaMinumBeer]

Me and you, we're not friends anymore....

Ha.

 

[Homercidal]

Off schedule is the best. After 23 years we pretty much just do it at night at bedtime. Lately it's more nights than not.

But I don't have any baby making in the plans. It's just for fun and intimacy.

We never had problems conceiving, but a few friends had to work at it. In all cases everything went better once the woman started relaxing about it.

If it doesn't take after so many months of trying, you may want to have you guys checked out. It's possible that your swimmers are not swimming, and it's possible that she has a condition that does a great job of killing sperm on their way to the party. Not to scare you. It's fairly rare in either case.

 

[firerat]

Count yourself lucky, my step-daughter and step-daughter-in-law (?) are trying to get pregnant...no fun for them...just purely technical.

Imagine what you are going thru...without the sex. :-(

My sister is gay. Just got married in May.

My wife says to me I swear to God if you lesbian sister gets preggers before me, I'm gonna lose it.

 

[GilaMinumBeer]

My wife says to me I swear to God if you lesbian sister gets preggers before me, I'm gonna lose it.

Ha. :rockin:

 

[firerat]

If it doesn't take after so many months of trying, you may want to have you guys checked out. It's possible that your swimmers are not swimming, and it's possible that she has a condition that does a great job of killing sperm on their way to the party. Not to scare you. It's fairly rare in either case.

Like I said, my mom works in fertility, so we have a whole timeline set if things don't take.

We just started this whole timing thing a few weeks ago.

If that doesn't work, then we start with tests.

I'm not exactly looking forward to spanking my monkey into a cup in an office where my mom works.

 

[GilaMinumBeer]

I'm not exactly looking forward to spanking my monkey into a cup in an office where my mom works.

As opposed to all those years in her bathroom?

 

[firerat]

As opposed to all those years in her bathroom?

That's almost word for word what my wife said to me.

It was more like, "oh right, like this will be the first time a door has separated your mom from you waxing your carrot."

You can see why I married her.

 

[b-boy]

"oh right, like this will be the first time a door has separated your mom from you waxing your carrot."

 

[firerat]

You never spanked it in your parents bathroom?