( advice ) wife doesn't like me home brewing

[Melana]

But why have a conversation with the significant other when generalized advice from anonymous strangers on the internet sounds so much better?

Exactly!

 

[doublehaul]

it is definitely not cheaper...

 

[LovesIPA]

Finding a guy who isn't a misogynistic @sshole is also very difficult.

That may very well be true. However, I don't know too much about the other side of the fence.

I agree with that sentiment. We do exist however. The main objection that I had was the generalization was made that all women are unable to take care of themselves.

I'm with a fantastic woman right now whose personality doesn't center on her insecurities and it's quite refreshing.

But why have a conversation with the significant other when generalized advice from anonymous strangers on the internet sounds so much better?

That's probably not quite fair. Sometimes perspectives of different people not involved in a relationship issue can be helpful. I don't think anyone should base how they approach a relationship entirely on the viewpoints of strangers, but there is surely a happy medium in between.

I think that asking a bunch of strangers for their opinions is useful as long as you can sift through the answers and discard the less helpful advice and take the more helpful insight and apply it.

 

[Rhumbline]

...

I think that asking a bunch of strangers for their opinions is useful as long as you can sift through the answers and discard the less helpful advice and take the more helpful insight and apply it.

The fundamental flaw in this is that is assumes the advisors are:

1. Being honest
2. Actually qualified to give advice

...and I'm the one who was called naive?

You don't know me, I'm not your friend, for all you know I'm a sociopath who derives pleasure from the suffering of others and would love to see you just totally screw up your relationship.

You want marital advice? Talk to a professional, be it a counselor, priest, what have you. Hell, as a last resort, talk to your wife.

 

[Yooper]

What I've come to understand is that the modern American woman is ridiculously insecure. They're raised to look for a knight in shining armor. In today's society that means someone who will cook,clean,work and give her the pants in the relationship. Basically, as a man, you're supposed to finish raising daddy's little girl for him. Since they don't know how to take care of themselves they act out and get insecure.

Yes, we American women are sooooooooooooo insecure.

We need someone to do it all for us while we wring our hands and the man can be our daddy and raise us.

I'm so glad that we women have been found out, so that our husbands/daddies can step up to the plate here.
_______________________________________________________

In other news, a great way to work out any disagreements is to talk to each other.

My ESP doesn't work and neither does my husbands- so we do something called "talking". He says things like, "Honey, I need some time to go off fishing with my buddies next Tuesday. What do you have planned?" And I say, "Well, nothing. Have fun! I think I'll brew that day, since no one will be underfoot". And he says, "Ok, that sounds great!"

I'm very happily married. So is he. No one tells the other what to do, or how to do it. However, we are attentive to each others wants vs needs. Our budget, our time, all of our resources actually, need to be taken into consideration. That doesn't make either one of us in charge- it makes us partners.

 

[brewmcq]

I'm so glad that we women have been found out, so that our husbands/daddies can step up to the plate here.

One word:

 

[Hello]

Hasqvarna?

 

[eastoak]

who wears the pants in the house H.I.?

 

[RonPopeil]

Yes, we American women are sooooooooooooo insecure.

We need someone to do it all for us while we wring our hands and the man can be our daddy and raise us.

I'm so glad that we women have been found out, so that our husbands/daddies can step up to the plate here.

i expected this sort of thing.

No offense to anyone here but I'm in the younger crowd. I date the younger crowd. This is what I've observed from personal experience and talking to female coworkers. YMMV etc etc.

 

[RoughandReadyRanch]

One word:

Been cutting wood for hours! GET OUT OF MY EFFING HEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I come on here to see what's up and this is what I see, NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH yeah OP, GROW A SET!!!!

 

[eastoak]

i expected this sort of thing.

No offense to anyone here but I'm in the younger crowd. I date the younger crowd. This is what I've observed from personal experience and talking to female coworkers. YMMV etc etc.

shocking.

 

[RonPopeil]

shocking.

:d

 

[Melana]

i expected this sort of thing.

No offense to anyone here but I'm in the younger crowd. I date the younger crowd. This is what I've observed from personal experience and talking to female coworkers. YMMV etc etc.

Some of us as younger women accomplished great things by ourselves.

 

[brewmcq]

Some of us as younger women accomplished great things by ourselves.

A friend of mine isn't old enough to drink but has owned her own home since the age of 18, started her own business which started turning a profit in a year AND has put herself through through college (medic school).

All while being a single mom of two.

While yes, she is an extraordinary example, there are many others just like her out there.. Unwilling to take it on the chin.

Maybe if everyone tried showing everyone else a little respect, the world just might be a little better.

But instead we're stuck with a society full of insecure men who feel it necessary to project their own fears and insecurities onto others, namely women. Sorry about your mommy issues, but suck it up and join the real world like the rest of us.

 

[RonPopeil]

Some of us as younger women accomplished great things by ourselves.

I understand my comments were very generalized but i believe there are some truths to it. i'm here for beer rather than soap boxing so i'm trying not to say so much. long story short, i've known women to be snotty and selfish more than anything.

as for this example person who's not old enough to drink i think i could find some things to support my claims by talking about the person being a mother of two before the age of 21 but i think i'd rather talk about helping people with their beer recipes and etcetera.

i'd just like to say that considering the original poster's situation and what they've divulged i think that having a sit down discussion is long overdue. probably too late. it sounds to me that the guy's relationship is going south in other ways and citing hobbies and money as the issue is really just an unhealthy way to open dialogue on more serious topics. for his sake i hope it's not the types of things i originally mentioned.

toodles

 

[Melana]

I understand my comments were very generalized but i believe there are some truths to it. i'm here for beer rather than soap boxing so i'm trying not to say so much. long story short, i've known women to be snotty and selfish more than anything.


toodles

Perhaps when people act a certain way towards others we should look into ourselves to see if we have done something to provoke the treatment.

 

[Melana]

And... did you not realize that this forum (i know, its a 'man's' hobby) has some actual women on it? You know, not the snotty/selfish types (not really 'women' but girls that haven't grown up yet)....? Was your intent to offend?

 

[DrunkleJon]

Wow, this thread really escalated. OP, I hope that you got some little bit of advice that you could use before the thread devolved into a mess. I also hope that you can talk it out with your wife and work something out.

 

[Melana]

Perhaps one of our Mods or Admins could shut it down before it gets uglier.

 

[Homercidal]

Perhaps one of our Mods or Admins could shut it down before it gets uglier.

Sounds good. There have been a more than a few threads that deal with personal relationships and they always seem to tailspin into an argument between people who don't know each other accusing each other for baseless transgressions.

It's already started, so we're done here.

To the OP, I hope you find peace with your problem, but it's not likely going to be found from random strangers on a homebrewing forum.