Stauffbier
Well-Known Member
Why do I always end up having to fart when I'm racking or bottling beer? The same thing happens when I'm on a date! :smack:
Why do I always end up having to fart when I'm racking or bottling beer? The same thing happens when I'm on a date! :smack:
Why does it matter? As long as you're not pushing the envelop too far, it's all good.
Learn to 'stealth fart' for when you're on a date...
the stealth fart can go horribly wrong... be careful with that one.
the stealth fart can go horribly wrong... be careful with that one.
It can easily shape-shift into a shart if you're not absolutely careful.
Learn to 'stealth fart' for when you're on a date...
I've actually done this quite a few times. I've tried holding them in, but that creates vapor lock. Vapor lock never ends well!
I never have that issue, because as we all know females don't fart.
because as we all know females don't fart.
One time, while preaching, I accidentally burped and the microphone amplified it. I tried to apologize and go on, but then I heard my daughter say to her friend, "Now he's gonna fart!" she said it loud enough that half the church heard it. The whole place lost it at that point.
Farting while bottling should only be a problem if you are squatting over the open bottles.
You haven't met one of my farts. That stuff can permeate the entire room. I know Revvy says that bacteria aren't acrobat ninjas, but my fecal bacteria might be the exception to the rule!
Every married man can shout: "A lie! A damnable lie! You ladies pretend you don't fart until after the wedding, and then you let one out that gags the dog."
I've almost knocked people out while in the truck and letting one out (I don't hold back when in MY vehicle). Good thing the windows work (need to figure out how to lock the passenger side window :cross...
Oh man, you ain't kidding. Had Long John Silvers for lunch one day, before a date that night. Went waaaaaay too heavy on the malt vinegar sauce. Knew I was packing some pretty vile emissions, so I held it in...the entire date (movies at her house..and I couldn't sneak off to let one rip, because I knew it was going to be loud and vile). Was cramping up something FIERCE by the time I headed home. Kissed goodnight, got in the truck, shut the door...and let loose. I was a freaking mile and a half down the road before I finally ran out of pressure.... and was almost 10 miles down the road before the air was 'normal' again (it was about fifteen below, so driving with the windows open wasn't an option)I've actually done this quite a few times. I've tried holding them in, but that creates vapor lock. Vapor lock never ends well!
Oh man, you ain't kidding. Had Long John Silvers for lunch one day, before a date that night. Went waaaaaay too heavy on the malt vinegar sauce. Knew I was packing some pretty vile emissions, so I held it in...the entire date (movies at her house..and I couldn't sneak off to let one rip, because I knew it was going to be loud and vile). Was cramping up something FIERCE by the time I headed home. Kissed goodnight, got in the truck, shut the door...and let loose. I was a freaking mile and a half down the road before I finally ran out of pressure.... and was almost 10 miles down the road before the air was 'normal' again (it was about fifteen below, so driving with the windows open wasn't an option)
LMAO!!!
Doesn't your truck have a sliding rear window in it? I find that cracking that open does a good amount to bring in fresh air without turning the truck into a rolling freezer. Crank up the heat to offset and you're good.
Did you dissolve the window seals with that one??
Dude....
Where the heck were you 10 years ago? That truck DID have a sliding rear window! Man, that would have REALLY helped out.... I'm going to blame the combination of the kiss goodnight and then the toxic cloud for my brain missing that one.
It was about 6 months later that the bolt attaching the seat back to the recliner mechanism broke...never thought about their being a possible connection...
I'm, unfortunately, going to have to be the guy who takes this one step farther. Ever notice you never have to fart (or pee) until you commence with sexy time?
I've thought long and hard about the physics of the human fart. Gas bubbles usually rise and exit upward. So why is it that we humans (who walk upright) fart instead of only burp? You'd think that would be the proper direction for all gases to escape. With cattle I understand since much of their life is spent with their head lower than their buttocks, but why is it this way with us?
Yes, I knew all that. Actually when I was in the Army I got so constipated that nothing could exit down there--not even gas. I could feel the gas bubbles build up and painfully move down, then back up and finally exit as a burp. Talk about breath that smelled like crap!
"Speak, oh toothless wonder, impart upon us your wisdom."
what would you like to know? bwahahaha!!
I think you just referred to yourself as a flatulent ass!
That must have been some extreme blockage... You know you're not supposed to eat glue, right??
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