The "Dear" , "Sincerely" thread

[Zepth]

Dear buried alive,
Please be very thankful that your shovel was not located in the shed.
Sincerely,
Could have been worse.

 

[Beernik]

Dear conference,

Let's be honest. We both know the only reason I'm presenting is to network for the day I decide to stop working my current job.

Sincerely,
Best part of my job is getting paid to build my Rolodex.

 

[brew_ny]

Dear Best part of my job is getting paid to build my Rolodex.

I used that word "Rolodex" the other day at work and got a blank look

from all

Sincerely
thought I was old

 

[Komocabo]

Dear Thought I was old,

I still use a rolodex. And my spell checker doesn't even recognize that word.

Sincerely,
Keeping it old school

 

[SupervisingChildren]

Dear snow,
Go away and let the plows do their thing. I don't want to be stuck at work for a few days.
Sincerely,
Frozen from walking through 5' of snow to get to work after being in my car for 5 hours

PS- thanks for letting me see blue sky for a few minutes before you came back

 

[Zepth]

Dear frozen,
You sir are much more dedicated to your job than I. And I was once 45 minutes late because I needed to use a hand winch for the entire 100' driveway to get to the road.
Sincerely,
Guy who just calls it in now.

 

[ubnserved]

Dear page 69,
You said 69, I could really go for grilled cheese right now.
Sincerely,
2:30 in the morning and still awake for no damage reason.

Dan auto correct sucks sometimes.

 

[ubnserved]

Dear 2:30 in the morning,
I think there is a song in there somewhere.
Sincerely,
And the thunder rolls. ...

Maybe I should be on the random thoughts thread.....

 

[TheCADJockey]

Dear Sales Lady,

Stop opening the door to look at the snow. You're letting the stank out.

Sincerely,
Overlord of Cubicle Town

 

[Beernik]

Dear O-Rings for Pump Flange Seals

I hate you.

Sincerely,

Just bent a pipe flange trying to compress the o-ring

 

[Billy-Klubb]

Dear O-Rings for Pump Flange Seals

I hate you.

Sincerely,

Just bent a pipe flange trying to compress the o-ring

Dear Heavy Handed Wrench Slinger,

Holy floccin' flocc! are you talking about the steel seating rings? how heavy was the flange? less than a 150?

Sincerely,
Buying That Guy 900 Series Flanges. Maybe Even 1200.

 

[ubnserved]

Dear Best part of my job is getting paid to build my Rolodex.

I used that word "Rolodex" the other day at work and got a blank look

from all

Sincerely
thought I was old

There is now a thread for all of us feeling old. I thought you might like it. https://www.homebrewtalk.com/f45/i-am-so-old-504196/

 

[soccerdad]

Dear Buried Buffalo Brewers,

I feel your pain. Born there. Don't ski. Moved south. Come see me .. groundwater is getting just right for chilling.

Sincerely, Former Buried Buffalo Boy

 

[Beernik]

Dear Heavy Handed Wrench Slinger,

Holy floccin' flocc! are you talking about the steel seating rings? how heavy was the flange? less than a 150?

Sincerely,
Buying That Guy 900 Series Flanges. Maybe Even 1200.

Dear buying me 900 series flanges,

The o-ring is rubber, the flange is steel. I tightened the bolts until the flanges were touching and it was bowed in the middle over the o-ring. I put the ancient gasket off of the dead pump back in and it sealed fine.

Boiler appears to be functioning properly for the first time since Sunday.

Sincerely,
New technology sucks

 

[Strut]

Dear Period,

Your late, and we're worried sick about you!

Sincerely,

Contraception should be used on every conceivable occasion.

 

[poptarts]

Dear shipping cost
you suck and ruin amazing deals
sincerely,
people who live out in the middle of nowhere with no lhbs

 

[Qhrumphf]

Dear Plan,

I told you that wouldn't work.

Sincerely,
Reality.

 

[biochemedic]

Dear Period,

Your late, and we're worried sick about you!

Sincerely,

Contraception should be used on every conceivable occasion.

Dear Contraception, et al...

If you didn't use me, well, there's your answer... But remember, even I'm not 100%

Perhaps you just got lucky, and there's something better than you can imagine in your offing...or if it was a drunken oops, maybe you should have used me...at least I'm 99.9%!

Sincerly,
Contraception

 

[ubnserved]

Dear loser with the 900 number,
Go find some other place to spam! This is a beer forum where we come up with complex recipes and learn from each other about growing yeast, hops etc etc. We do not want you nasty one legged women. We also don't have time for them, beer and beer making is far more important. Besides non of us are really dumb enough to fall for your scams. (Drunk enough maybe)
Sincerely,
2 beer won't get me that drunk.

 

[Beernik]

Dear builder of my boiler,

Why did you build a system without something as simple as a $15 automatic bleeder valve? Air entrained in the pump woke my daughter up at 4am. I spent the next hour manually bleeding air off the boiler tank. That, of course, put boiler water all over the floor of my utility room and steam all over me.

The good news is since I did that, the temperature of my living room has risen 1.4 degrees in 1.5 hours. I can actually feel heat radiating off of all the radiators. What a novelty!

Why is nothing ever as easy as it should be in my house? Oh yeah, it's 76 years old and must have been built by a guy who didn't know the difference between a rhombus and a square.

Sincerely,

The battle continues but I'm finally winning!

 

[jamespz03]

Dear Liver,

I'm sorry for treating you like sheet in my younger days. I've been good since then so please do your best to hold on broseph.

Sincerely,

Used to drink too much.

 

[AleForce1]

Dear Kickstarter,

You and the project creators of all of the homebrew KS projects that I have supported suck. You have no conscience....You can't meet YOUR own deadlines, respond to any backers emails or comments. You over promise and change things after receiving my money.

 

[DrunkleJon]

Dear Head and Liver,
Do not be too hard on me tomorrow. S'my birthday today and I want to be able to celebrate since odds of me getting a grilled cheese sammich today are hovering around 0.
Sincerely,
Drunkle wants to party

 

[Melana]

Dear Drunkle wants to party,

Happy Birthday and Enjoy!

Sincerely,
Looking for an excuse to party!

 

[TheCADJockey]

Dear Head and Liver,
Do not be too hard on me tomorrow. S'my birthday today and I want to be able to celebrate since odds of me getting a grilled cheese sammich today are hovering around 0.
Sincerely,
Drunkle wants to party

Dear Drunk Uncle,

Happy Earth Day. Mine was Monday and didn't get to do a thing. Hope yours is more eventful.

Sincerely,
Guy with boring friends

 

[SupervisingChildren]

Dear Drunk Uncle,

Happy Earth Day. Mine was Monday and didn't get to do a thing. Hope yours is more eventful.

Sincerely,
Guy with boring friends

Dear guy with boring friends,
That sounds pretty lame. Tell them to man up or their man card is revoked.
Sincerely,
Woke up with a hangover Tuesday and it wasn't my birthday on Monday
Ps happy belated

 

[DrunkleJon]

Dear Drunkle wants to party,

Happy Birthday and Enjoy!

Sincerely,
Looking for an excuse to party!

Dear Looking for an excuse to party!.

Do you really need an excuse?

Sincerely,
The party never has to stop

 

[Melana]

Dear Looking for an excuse to party!.

Do you really need an excuse?

Sincerely,
The party never has to stop

Dear The party never has to stop,

An excuse is not necessary however partying alone is getting stale.

Sincerely,
Still Looking for an excuse to party

 

[number40fan]

Dear, Kansas City Chiefs

They were 0-10!!

Sincerely,

WTF?

 

[Strut]

Dear Raiders,

Congratulations on your first win in like forever!

Sincerely,

Broncos Fan

 

[TheCADJockey]

Dear Wine Makers,

Could you teach me how to soak cork?

Sincerely,
3PM Friday Wall of Boredom

 

[Inkleg]

Dear 3PM Friday Wall of Boredom,

Check with your SWMBO about that.

Sincerely,
Got my Cork Soaked earlier.

 

[Melana]

Dear 3PM Friday Wall of Boredom,



Check with your SWMBO about that.



Sincerely,

Got my Cork Soaked earlier.

Dear GMCSE,

Lucky bastid!

Sincerely,
Still Waiting for mine....

 

[Fedora]

Dear Still Waiting,
I've been waiting a few days. I feel your pain.
Sincerely, Corks Drying Out

 

[Beernik]

Dear Family Vacation,

I have missed you the last four years. Thank you for coming back.

Sincerely,

800 miles from home.

 

[stevehardt]

Dear CNN,

No decision yet from the grand jury in Ferguson. We got that....

Any chance we could move on?

Sincerely,

News junkies everywhere

 

[Black Island Brewer]

Dear Hops Direct:
Get your Northern Brewer pelletized, pronto!
Signed,
Wants to get Northern Brewer before the Amarillo runs out.

 

[feinbera]

Dear lower back,

First of all, I'm sorry. I got sloppy about "lifting with my legs," no two ways about it. I've learned my lesson, and I won't let it happen again.

But, look. We both feel better after a beer or two, and I'd really like to get back to making those beers which I know you also appreciate. So, if you could get on the mend already, we'll both be happier in the long run.

Sincerely,
Laid Up, Bored and Thirsty

 

[Zepth]

Dear inventors,
Please invent a product that fills the need of the picnic tap, but is not built so crappy. I'd suggest some sort of metal for the housing. Definitely metal in place of those little bendy-plastic-junk studs on the inside of the "handle" that go into that funky slot. You know, the pegs that decide to give up the ghost right at the moment of truth? Those ones.
Sincerely,
Guy who drilled holes and installed a pin to restore functionality.

Edit: Patent pending.

Dear distributors,
Have I got a product for you.
Sincerely,
Awaiting royalties.

 

[Billy-Klubb]

Dear CNN,

No decision yet from the grand jury in Ferguson. We got that....

Any chance we could move on?

Sincerely,

News junkies everywhere

Dear News Junkies,

I feel that you are all the reason "the news" has become one sided and incredulous. Just don't forget to watch both sides and meet somewhere in the middle.

Sincerely,
Socially Jaded Scum