arturo7
Well-Known Member
I had high hopes when I saw New Joke Thread, thinking that it would be a thread of new jokes. I was saddened to discover it was just a new thread of jokes.
I had high hopes when I saw New Joke Thread, thinking that it would be a thread of new jokes. I was saddened to discover it was just a new thread of jokes.
Lady goes into the hospital to have a baby. In the middle of delivery there are what appear to be complications and the lady passes out. She comes to and asks the doctor what happened and to see her baby. Doctor says I've got some bad news about the baby and I need to prepare you before you see it - it was born without any arms or legs. Lady is worked up but says that's ok she wants to see him. Doctor says well it doesn't have a body either. Lady is sobbing but says she still wants to see him. Doctor says it doesn't have a head either. Lady is hysterical and thinking WTF what did I have... but tells the doctor she still wants to see her baby. So the doctor nods to the nurse who goes out and comes back in with this big eyeball wrapped in a blanket. Lady screams out Oh My God What Could Be Worse?? Doctor says "he's blind".
I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with but I've been trippin' all day.
How did the frog die?
He Kermit suicide!
I walk up to a woman at random and ask her "If you were out camping, got drunk and woke up with a condom hanging from your crotch, would you tell anyone"?
She says, hell no !..............
I reply...........................
You wanna go campin'?
...a rather disturbing thought, since your sig says I love yooper...just sayin'...
Sent from my iPhone using Home Brew
Where would you find a dog with no legs?
Right where you left him
On a long span of desert highway, a highway patrolman pulls over a man for having a tail light out.
As he gets to the man's window he notices that two penguins are strapped in with seatbelts in the back seat.
Forgetting the ticket completely the officer blurts out "Sir, you can't have penguins like this! You are going to have to bring them to a zoo!"
The man agrees and is let off with a warning.
Next week comes around, same man, same officer, same car with the same light broken. Looking inside, officer sees the same two penguins, this time wearing sunglasses.
"Sir, I thought I told you, you need to bring those penguins to a zoo!"
"But, officer, I did! Now I'm bringing them to the beach!"
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