Mother F'in Cat....

[Darwin18]

What's the weird sound coming from the garage? Is that....no... NO!!! That's 5-gallons of chocolate peppermint stout flowing out the garage floor and down the driveway. It was only a couple days away from drinking....

MOTHER F'IN CAT!!!!!!!

The thing is, it could have been worse. I was only heading towards the garage because I wanted to randomly check a pack of bargain Wyeast that I bought last week to check the production date. The cat knows that he has done wrong because he is hiding under the guest room bed where he belongs.

 

[Thunder_Chicken]

If that happened in my house I'd be drinking a pint of that cat's blood right now, just because.

 

[Thunder_Chicken]

You're not the first to have problems with cats playing with the taps. There must be a way to keep them from effing around with them.

 

[aiptasia]

Catapult.

 

[snccoulter]

Time to lock them tap handles in the closed position. I had a 3 year old do that to 3 kegs and a 20lb tank of CO2

My wife is snickering at that memory now...

 

[cheesehed007]

Sorry for your loss!

 

[Darwin18]

Time to lock them tap handles in the closed position. I had a 3 year old do that to 3 kegs and a 20lb tank of CO2

My wife is snickering at that memory now...

How would one go about doing this?

 

[snccoulter]

My boy went into the garage and pulled all three taps open and watched as it pored out onto the garage floor I can only guess he danced with delight. He then came back in house probably to play with mom again. When I got home from my shift I went into the garage so I could change out of my uniform (I did not want to expose the kids to any of the heavy metals from the firing range) and discovered the tragedy...

 

[smccarter]

Very... VERY funny!!!!!!

 

[snccoulter]

And if you were not talking about how a kid drained my kegs then this is the answer. http://alcoholcontrols.com/tapbeerlocks.html?gclid=CLfZj5CV8roCFex_QgodPG8APw#.UowJ5MRJNJE

 

[littletommy]

Had a cat totally destroy a gorgeous Waco cabin Biplane Balsa model I built. The cat no longer lives.





And NO, I did NOT kill the stupid cat.......this happened 20 years ago, the cat died of old age at least 10 years ago.

I DID however, celebrate the death of that stupid cat.

 

[Hello]

Oh good lord. I would have started a thread that said "RIP Cat..." I'd kill him.

 

[ButcherBoy]

The only good cat is the one that my sister owns. I can visit when I want to and it doesn't live with ME.

 

[nextgenxx]

Sorry for the lose. I'm mad at my cat too right now, came home to food puke on the couch. They act like they own the place. Damn cats!!



I guess next time dont hook the out post up yet.

 

[Thunder_Chicken]

Umm...sorry, no...that is not acceptable kitty. *BANG* Sorry kitty.

Maybe this would keep cats off your taps:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=goZ2DqMnaGc

 

[JonM]

A dog would never do such a horrible thing.

Well, yes a dog would, but a dog would do it out of exuberant stupidity, and would then show he feels bad about doing something bad. A cat does it vindictively and then looks at you with the "Yeah? What the f*** you gonna do about it?" look on its face.

 

[Mindsculptor]

Time for a big boom of the .45 or 10mm Auto variety.

 

[SharonaZamboni]

Put a couple hooks in the wall and bungee the handles

 

[snccoulter]

Umm...sorry, no...that is not acceptable kitty. *BANG* Sorry kitty.

Maybe this would keep cats off your taps:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=goZ2DqMnaGc

I cant believe I spent 12.5 min watching the video. I like the 4 barrel potato gun he turned into a cat removal device.

 

[Darwin18]

Put a couple hooks in the wall and bungee the handles

This is very likely going to be my solution.

 

[Thunder_Chicken]

Time to lock them tap handles in the closed position. I had a 3 year old do that to 3 kegs and a 20lb tank of CO2

My wife is snickering at that memory now...

It's not too late to have more children.

 

[Thunder_Chicken]

I cant believe I spent 12.5 min watching the video. I like the 4 barrel potato gun he turned into a cat removal device.

Believe it. You did it. You're awesome.

 

[snccoulter]

It's not too late to have more children.

Um yes it is way way to late. BTW do not get a vasectomy and have foot surgery in the same week. Having to use crutches right after a vasectomy is not the most fun you can have..

 

[Thunder_Chicken]

The foot bone is connected to the *WHAT* bone?

 

[snccoulter]

In a round about way... but the docs say do not life more than 5lbs for a week or two. I am decidedly more than 5lbs.

 

[Homercidal]

Put a couple hooks in the wall and bungee the handles

I was going to suggest this, but instead of the wall, consider attaching to the back of the freezer, so you can move it if necessary without detaching the bungees.

Oh, and remember, in some parts of the world, cats are considered a menu item...

 

[PurdyGood]

Chocolate peppermint stout? Sounds awesome! My favorite ice cream flavor is mint chocolate chip. Recipe?

 

[motobrewer]

first, you take a cat...

 

[roastquake]

Not great for beer, but a cat skull might make a good shot glass

 

[Melana]

Cat skull tap handle?

 

[roastquake]

^great idea!

Oh if you play guitar or some other string instrument, you could try your hand at making gut strings.

cat femur chopsticks?

 

[m3n00b]

Sht.....building my keezer this weekend...need to figure something out here.

 

[corkybstewart]

I had a cat drain a keg of imperial stout once, luckily I heard a hissing noise and shut the tap before the CO2 bottle was empty. SO I devised a simple bungie cord system to make the taps hard to open. I use a freezer with a wooden lid so I put a couple of eye hooks in the lid and ran the bungie from hook to hook across the taps. Problem solved. I can still pull the tap hard enough to get beer and it's very easy to remove for parties.

 

[neo71665]

Cat+gun+shovel=problem fixed

 

[Jayhem]

I'd have gone ballistic and tested the ballistics of my new .40 S&W handloads on some cat fur!

I honestly have no idea what possesses people to want a cat in the house. A stuffed cat would make more sense if you want a companion as real cats are never around unless they want food or to eff with your stuff.

 

[m3n00b]

Cat+gun+shovel=problem fixed

Or just cat+shovel would work.

 

[neo71665]

I honestly have no idea what possesses people to want a cat in the house. A stuffed cat would make more sense if you want a companion as real cats are never around unless they want food or to eff with your stuff.

If an animal was meant to live inside then they should have been given the sense to build their own house and not make a mess of it. Otherwise they are fine outside where they belong.

 

[neo71665]

Or just cat+shovel would work.

If it would have been my beer it would have been a short rope and long drive but I figured some PETA nut case would whine about me saying it.

 

[snccoulter]

I am not a big cat fan, but my kids cat is more like a dog. It is always under foot and if you sit, it is there wanting the attention. (my wife says it is mine it is always in my chair or sleeping on my side of the bed). That and it will tolerate my middle kid he is an autistic child and picks it up in all sort of ( I am sure painful positions) with no scratching or biting. The cat will just lay back and go rag-doll on him and take the next hour of being held like it was his mission in life to be nice. Or it will ambush the kids as they walk around the corner. It is a great game they play.

 

[Jayhem]

If an animal was meant to live inside then they should have been given the sense to build their own house and not make a mess of it. Otherwise they are fine outside where they belong.

I'm a dog person but even our dogs don't get free run of the house or even the basement where they sleep. They get a fenced yard to run by day, trips to the park or the farm every week on leash and a comfy crate to sleep at night in a heated basement. They are perfectly content and do not get the chance to destroy the house.