MILLER FORTUNE BEER....undistilled

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Lol commercial on right now....*British bad guy/cool guy/****** informs me that having a "normal" (distilled?) beer may result in me having a "normal" evening.....the HORROR....
 
The undistilling process is a proprietary one, and has been a part of the Miller family's history for 17 generations. No goats were harmed in the making of Miller Fortune. Only the choicest hops were selected. Seriously - only 3 hop cones made the cut for the last batch. Those hop cones were also undistilled.

Did anyone ask TxBrew if we are even allowed to discuss undistilling on HBT? Cuz if ya know how to make a wort chiller...........
 
I can barely keep myself from imagining the *****ebaggery happening in bars as guys who think they know something about......alcohol....will spout all sorts of crap about how the undistilled beer gets you drunk quicker, etc.
 
"This'll get you drunk nice 'n quick. Almost as fast as them Guinness beers. But it's lighter so you can drink 'em faster!"
 
TECHNICALLY.....(lol).....when I add WATER to my BOURBON (which I never do).....I am undistilling it.......at least partially.
 
The drinking fountains at work have signs on them that state "This is not a sink" I have a difficult time now resisting the urge to try and wash my face in any other object not specifically identified as non-sink furniture.
 
Laughing_Gnome_Invisible said:
The drinking fountains at work have signs on them that state "This is not a sink" I have a difficult time now resisting the urge to try and wash my face in any other object not specifically identified as non-sink furniture.
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I would be tempted to tape a sign over that sign that says "This is not a Notary Public", since they clearly have a penchant for stating the obvious.
 
I tried to clone this beer, but as I was undistilling it, I noticed what looked like an infection. Maybe it's because I only double hopped it. Oh well, I guess I'm in for yet another average night
 
roastquake said:
I tried to clone this beer, but as I was undistilling it, I noticed what looked like an infection. Maybe it's because I only double hopped it. Oh well, I guess I'm in for yet another average night
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You need to use a recipe that is ALL IN CAPITAL LETTERS. Capital letters mean business. Don't be average.
 
Lame. I marinade all of my beer in ballsack. That's actually how I inoculate my wort.
 
WesleyS said:
If it's undistilled, how do they get the alcohol
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Through the airlock, same as all beers.

Laughing_Gnome_Invisible said:
The drinking fountains at work have signs on them that state "This is not a sink" I have a difficult time now resisting the urge to try and wash my face in any other object not specifically identified as non-sink furniture.
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Sinks. Now furniture.

cheezydemon3 said:
I dip my junk in the boil (takes a LOT of getting used to) but you marinate beer in a ballsack??

What? Are you making 1 gallon batches in an elephant scrotum?
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Boom shocka! Boom shocka!
 
roastquake said:
Multiple ballsacks sewn together, perhaps?
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Nah, I was just giving him crap.

He discovered t-rex dna in amber tree sap laden with mosquitos. He raised a little T rex to full adulthood, cut it's nuts off, and left it to die.....all so he wouldn't have to sit and sew elephant scrotums together.

He is one ruthless bastard.
 
Semantics. I guess technically, I'm inoculating my wort with my ballsack while simultaneously marinading my ballsack in wort.

The t-rex experiment didn't end well. Didn't you see the documentary?
 
seabass07 said:
Semantics. I guess technically, I'm inoculating my wort with my ballsack while simultaneously marinading my ballsack in wort.

The t-rex experiment didn't end well. Didn't you see the documentary?
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At least you made it out with your own ballsack still intact. S#!t got real when those raptors stepped in to stall the T-Rex. Too bad they didn't make it.
 
cheezydemon3 said:
Oh no! No no.


Miller makes it's fermenters watch a documentary on hops 3 times a day. No actual hops go into the beer.
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Well actually... Each keg is rolled off 3 small ledges. The height of the drop is calculated to be just large enough to cause the keg to bounce (or "hop") exactly one time. You are absolutely right that no actual hops are used typically, though. Their standards at Miller are so high that the hops rarely pass QC.
 
SO! how do they produce that undistilled aftertaste? What were the words...Sparkly finish? Spicy?

Has anyone had one of these beers?
 
cheezydemon3 said:
SO! how do they produce that undistilled aftertaste? What were the words...Sparkly finish? Spicy?

Has anyone had one of these beers?
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It seems counterintuitive, but they do it by distilling. You see, they actually distill the flavor and aroma compounds and recycle that part as water used for the "It's a Small World" ride at Disneyland. What remains that has not yet been distilled is green Miller FORTUNE. Because of their agreement with Disney, when they send water over, the good folks at DL provide water from their pond by the big castle. It is the local ducks that give the water its "smooth" and "spicy" quality. The biological processes by which the ducks contribute these trademark qualities would bore you, but the gist of it is: food goes in, spicy silky smooth goes out.

Edit: I forgot to address the sparkly quality - Tinkerbell Tinkle.
 
well, the undistilling process produces glitter, that's where the sparkly finish comes from. and since undistilling occurs at such high temperatures (at least 10,000 degrees F) it makes some spicy esters
 
Hmmm. Apparently it is marketed as an alternative drink for millennials who like to drink distilled spirits. It's just a poorly scripted catch phrase that does not apply to beer lovers.

Research is really really dull!!! :(
 
Laughing_Gnome_Invisible said:
Hmmm. Apparently it is marketed as an alternative drink for millennials who like to drink distilled spirits. It's just a poorly scripted catch phrase that does not apply to beer lovers.

Research is really really dull!!! :(
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Research.....A witch! Burn him.....

I actually saw this commercial, for the first time, last night and laughed out loud thinking about all of the examples of ridiculousness in the post
 

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