m_c_zero
Well-Known Member
You actually made your wife eat ****?
Doesn't sound like he made her, sounds like she did it willingly.
You actually made your wife eat ****?
Making tacos last night. So I take a deuce from the baby's diaper, and stick it in a taco shell (hard shell). Cover with some meat, then cheese, lettuce, guac, sour cream, hot sauce. Give it to wife.
First bite "this is spicy!"
"Yup."
Second bite "eww, this tastes like ****!"
"Yup."
Got her good.
Making tacos last night. So I take a deuce from the baby's diaper, and stick it in a taco shell (hard shell). Cover with some meat, then cheese, lettuce, guac, sour cream, hot sauce. Give it to wife.
First bite "this is spicy!"
"Yup."
Second bite "eww, this tastes like ****!"
"Yup."
Got her good.
m_c_zero said:Doesn't sound like he made her, sounds like she did it willingly.
Making tacos last night. So I take a deuce from the baby's diaper, and stick it in a taco shell (hard shell). Cover with some meat, then cheese, lettuce, guac, sour cream, hot sauce. Give it to wife.
First bite "this is spicy!"
"Yup."
Second bite "eww, this tastes like ****!"
"Yup."
Got her good.
The question remains did she finish the taco?
MuddyCreek said:Alright... I'm somewhat horrified to share this one but...
About once every 5 or 6 years, while being intimate and making sure I'm on top, I'll start to pretend I'm a special needs kid having the time of my life.
Then it kinda becomes a contest to see how long I can hang on.
Also, when I was about 17, my mom was missing a serving spoon from the kitchen and asked me if I'd been digging up the back yard with her spoon. So now whenever any utensils or things are missing from the kitchen and SWMBO asks about it I fess up to having dug up the back yard with whatever is gone.
Recently my wife messed with me in a similar fashion. While being intimate she started singing "Gangnam Style", which is especially hilarious because she's Korean and knows the words. I laughed myself silly.
Beernik said:Apparently I mess with my wife by talking in my sleep. A lot.
Early in our marriage this manifested it self with repeated arguments of whether we had talked about something or not. She'd talk to me about it, thinking I was still awake because I carried on a full conversation with her.
Lately though, because of stress, I'm swearing a lot. Like I have sleeping Tourette's syndrome or something. F-this. F-that. F-you. F-off.
Which is totally not me when I'm awake. And what can I do, go to anger management class and say "I'm a really nice guy until I fall asleep and then I'm a raging *******."
She said she isn't sure anynore if I'm awake or sleeping anymore because I sit up with my eyes open and say that stuff.
I don't remember any of it.
So I told her, if you aren't sure then try saying something random. Like ask me about monkeys or something.
So she did it last night.
I said. "**** you and **** the goddamn monkeys."
To mess with your swmbo, next time you're both out somewhere, like going to or from dinner, if you see a homeless person, walk up to them & ask them for some spare change. Make sure swmbo can hear.
Regards, GF.
While shes taking a hot shower i wait until she is washing her face or hair and has her eyes closed and then ill pour a cold glass of water over the curtain onto her head. Sit back and watch her scream!
While shes taking a hot shower i wait until she is washing her face or hair and has her eyes closed and then ill pour a cold glass of water over the curtain onto her head. Sit back and listen to her scream!
While shes taking a hot shower i wait until she is washing her face or hair and has her eyes closed and then ill pour a glass of hot acid over the curtain onto her head. Sit back and watch her scream!
paulster2626 said:I just thought of a new one. I'm going to find a picture of someone's junk and print it off, then set up the baby monitor to be pointing at it. When she goes to see how the kid is doing - WHAMMO! BALLS IN YOUR FACE!
I'm going to find a picture of someone's junk and print it off
So just a normal day for you?
I just thought of a new one. I'm going to find a picture of someone's junk and print it off, then set up the baby monitor to be pointing at it. When she goes to see how the kid is doing - WHAMMO! BALLS IN YOUR FACE!
or better yet....leave an upper decker at your wife's parents house
Why not just use a picture of your own junk?
Ever hear of the rodeo position? You mount from behind, cup her chest in your hands, whisper in her ear, "These feel just like your sisters'"... and see how long you can hang on.Alright... I'm somewhat horrified to share this one but...
About once every 5 or 6 years, while being intimate and making sure I'm on top, I'll start to pretend I'm a special needs kid having the time of my life.
Then it kinda becomes a contest to see how long I can hang on.
Why not just use a picture of your own junk?
I just thought of a new one. I'm going to find a picture of someone's junk and print it off, then set up the baby monitor to be pointing at it. When she goes to see how the kid is doing - WHAMMO! BALLS IN YOUR FACE!
That woudl mean there would have to be a digital copy of said photo stored somewhere, which could be used against me.
Plus, it's too small to show up in the printer.
You could get one of these: Magellan XHR Scanning Electron Microscope. It has a resolution of down to 1nm. If it won't show up on that, then there isn't anything there.
"*Uh, uh* *grunt* What are you doing, dear?"
"Just watching my boys"
"What do you mean, 'boys'? We only have one son... OH YOU ****ING PERVERT!"
CreamyGoodness said:Upon which time I'd start singing "Simply Red's" magnum opus "If you dont know meeeee byyyy nooooow.... "
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