Hamsterbite
Well-Known Member
Hide one of each of her shoes.
My toddler pretty much takes care of that...unfortunately, that includes everyone's shoes.
Hide one of each of her shoes.
CreamyGoodness said:Hide one of each of her shoes.
Here's one I tried recently that didn't work:
Winding down the evening, we were kicked back in our recliners enjoying a couple home-brews. She gave me the "I'm empty, refill please" glass waggle. I returned with two fresh glasses, mine with beer, hers with chicken noodle soup. Since the lights were dimmed, I was hoping she wouldn't notice before she took a sip. But she did.
I will wait a couple weeks and try again.
5. I punch her in the face really hard when she isn't looking.
Usually a haymaker.
You go all Chuck Norris on her huh?
BoyScout said:Some great ones here!
Everytime my SWMBO and I would shower together in the corner of the mirror, I'd make a little "tick" mark in the steam. I was doing that for awhile when she finally asked me what I was doing. I told her that was the number of times I successfully peed on her in the shower without her noticing. Please note that I wasn't actually peeing on her, I just told her I was.
She wouldn't shower with me for months, until I convinced her that I never really did pee on her. Then when I was finally allowed in the shower with her again, I "ticked" the mirror again. That was the end of community showering..lol.
Your mileage on this one may vary and there are many variations to the "theme"
Was out shopping with her one time and when she came out of the changing room she asked me, "Do these pants make my ass look fat?"
I responded, "Don't blame the pants."
As I said lots of variation offered on this one but it does mean sleeping on the couch for a night or two.
Sorry to bump, but I came up with a new one yesterday.
I took two AA batteries and hung one out of each nostril. Jumped in front of the TV whilst she played Zelda and said, loudly, "INFINITE ENERGY!" and ran away cackling. When I removed the batteries and returned to the living room, a good 3 minutes later, the Wii was still on pause and she was still sitting there with a half-smile/half-stunned expression. "Wow" she said "I married into this willingly"...
b-boy said:My wife trashed my laptop last week. She spilled an entire cup of coffee on it. It kinda works, but the display is all wacky. I yelled at her about it because I always tell her not to eat/drink when she's using it. She got pissed at me for getting mad at her. Somehow I'm in trouble for her destroying my new laptop.
To get back at her I've been making constant jokes about the condition of my laptop. Also, whenever I see her with a cup of coffee I scream 'Oh my God, she's got coffee!' and I throw my body on whatever electronics are in the area. I've also shielded the dog and the cat from possible 3rd degree burns. My kids are loving it.
The other day she found her pill holder was broken and yelled out to the entire house - 'Who broke my pill holder?'. I yelled - 'Sorry - It was me'. 'I spilled coffee on it'. I got smacked pretty good that time.
I intend to keep this up for many, many months.
That sounds like the kind of thing that can end in divorce
My wife trashed my laptop last week. She spilled an entire cup of coffee on it. It kinda works, but the display is all wacky. I yelled at her about it because I always tell her not to eat/drink when she's using it. She got pissed at me for getting mad at her. Somehow I'm in trouble for her destroying my new laptop.
Making tacos last night. So I take a deuce from the baby's diaper, and stick it in a taco shell (hard shell). Cover with some meat, then cheese, lettuce, guac, sour cream, hot sauce. Give it to wife.
First bite "this is spicy!"
"Yup."
Second bite "eww, this tastes like ****!"
"Yup."
Got her good.
Making tacos last night. So I take a deuce from the baby's diaper, and stick it in a taco shell (hard shell). Cover with some meat, then cheese, lettuce, guac, sour cream, hot sauce. Give it to wife.
First bite "this is spicy!"
"Yup."
Second bite "eww, this tastes like ****!"
"Yup."
Got her good.
MuddyCreek said:Alright... I'm somewhat horrified to share this one but...
About once every 5 or 6 years, while being intimate and making sure I'm on top, I'll start to pretend I'm a special needs kid having the time of my life.
Then it kinda becomes a contest to see how long I can hang on.
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