CreamyGoodness
Well-Known Member
If you know me you know I love infomercial products. Oxyclean is a good one, as is that little turning blade that makes a potato into a slinky. The newest product to catch my eye is the WaxVac(tm). In the commercial a gentleman about my age is not having very good luck with cotton swabs. He appears to attempt to jam one into his ear canal like a harpoon and shouts "OUCH!" and looks at it as if it has just said something derogatory about his sister. The solution to this? The WaxVac(tm). This is literally a small vacuum cleaner that looks like a tiny cordless drill that you put in your ear. You depress the trigger and WaxVac(tm) literally sucks the wax out of your ear. I love this idea. However, it is only good for your ears. Why no love for the schnozz? Below I am mapping out my bottom floor ideas for 2 WaxVac type devices for your nose. If you want to help me in development or marketing, thats great, but remember that I thought of them first.
1) AutoNetti(tm). A variation on Malfet's bottle washer for lazy homebrewers, this and pvc pipe model would have only one nozzle. The netti pot is a wonderful device, but it is antiquated, lacks razzle-dazzle and lacks POWER. So, each night you load the AutoNetti(tm) with a patented nostril cleaning fluid, SchnozzleBrite(tm), and jam the nozzle in your nostril. Turn on the powerful AutoNetti(tm) pump and watch months-worth of compacted snotular matter shoot at a high psi into your bathroom sink. Switch nostrils and repeat. Whole process should take you a minute and a half. You're a busy person, do you really want to screw around with a ceramic netti pot?
* Bonus: Order now and get a travel AutoNetti(tm) for when you are on the road! Sure, its just an oral syringe, but stupid frigging American consumers will never know the difference.
And my favorite of the two
2) SinusSucker(tm). Ever had a bad cold where your sinuses are stuffed up and you cant breath through your nose? No more! SinusSucker(tm) is a combination vaccuum cleaner and colonoscopy hose with miniature camera. Slowly insert the hose in your nostril and monitor the camera on any television until you reach a cache of snot. Turn on SinusSucker(tm)'s vaccuum and feel the congestion literally get pulled out of your head.
CreamyGoodness... Vision for a better tomorrow.
1) AutoNetti(tm). A variation on Malfet's bottle washer for lazy homebrewers, this and pvc pipe model would have only one nozzle. The netti pot is a wonderful device, but it is antiquated, lacks razzle-dazzle and lacks POWER. So, each night you load the AutoNetti(tm) with a patented nostril cleaning fluid, SchnozzleBrite(tm), and jam the nozzle in your nostril. Turn on the powerful AutoNetti(tm) pump and watch months-worth of compacted snotular matter shoot at a high psi into your bathroom sink. Switch nostrils and repeat. Whole process should take you a minute and a half. You're a busy person, do you really want to screw around with a ceramic netti pot?
* Bonus: Order now and get a travel AutoNetti(tm) for when you are on the road! Sure, its just an oral syringe, but stupid frigging American consumers will never know the difference.
And my favorite of the two
2) SinusSucker(tm). Ever had a bad cold where your sinuses are stuffed up and you cant breath through your nose? No more! SinusSucker(tm) is a combination vaccuum cleaner and colonoscopy hose with miniature camera. Slowly insert the hose in your nostril and monitor the camera on any television until you reach a cache of snot. Turn on SinusSucker(tm)'s vaccuum and feel the congestion literally get pulled out of your head.
CreamyGoodness... Vision for a better tomorrow.
