Fake troll thread titles - give us your best!!

[sweetcell]

the recipe said that the resulting beer would be very dry, but in fact it's as wet as any other beer i've made.

 

[CreamyGoodness]

"All this talk of false bottoms made me remember a story from my BDSM days..."

 

[DrunkleJon]

Apparently I have evil gnomes stealing the bear out of my primary...

Oh wait, this one already exists...

 

[tom_gamer]

What kind of bourbon do you out in your hot liquor tank to make a bourbon stout?

 

[Cromwell]

Someone critiqued my beer as having "too much hot alcohol".
Is this because the hot liquor tank is too hot?

I have a hard time filling my bottles to the top. When I remove the wand, I get oxygen in there. Help.

Can I make beer bread by putting barley in with the flour, and just letting the yeast make bread and beer at the same time?

I only had a 2-prong plug when I made my e-kettle. I put a voltmeter on the green wire and it wasn't doing anything anyway. Is this ok?

 

[beaksnbeer]

Making a 1 gallon batch but don't have time for a hour boil can I microwave instead?

 

[Brew-Dog]

My wife has a yeast infection in her bung hole... Star San?

 

[PistolsAtDawn]

My 60 minute mash was done in 59 minutes. 102% efficiency!

 

[oakbarn]

I was using my electric cement mixer as a MLT. I applied to much heat with my bush burner flame thrower and got the temp up to 160, is my mash ruined? ( and for those mechanically inclined, it warped my mixer, will it still do concrete?)

 

[hillybilly]

Can I make a 5 gallon batch in a 4 gallon kettle

 

[jglazer]

I had my dog jump over the fermentation bucket to practice dry hopping, accidentally fell in, ok to leave him in there for 5-7 days or is that too long?

 

[hillybilly]

How can I dry hop in secondary the beer is in there won't the hops get wet if I add them

 

[DrunkleJon]

I was using my electric cement mixer as a MLT. I applied to much heat with my bush burner flame thrower and got the temp up to 160, is my mash ruined? ( and for those mechanically inclined, it warped my mixer, will it still do concrete?)

Is it bad that I actually thought about how cool it would be to use a cement mixer as a MLT. The DIY McGuyver in me is pulling out his paperclips and duct tape.

 

[Varmintman]

And I was thinking that it would be cool to use the cement mixer for malting the grains.

 

[boydster]

How can I dry hop in secondary the beer is in there won't the hops get wet if I add them

Wrap them in saran wrap first. I do this all the time, they never get wet.

 

[hillybilly]

If I secondary won't the primary be offended

 

[hillybilly]

how come my auto siphon won't start on it's own

 

[Ostomo517]

Im making my first sour ale, how many lemons do I add??

 

[oakbarn]

Help, I ran out of grain and used my infant's barley cereal and I have a stuck mash that is a lot like paper mache glue. I did this Friday and now have a shovel, and axe and my baby stuck in the stuff. I have to go back to work Tuesday and SWMBO is returning tonight. Should I just depart for places unknown?

 

[Goofynewfie]

When brewing a lambic does the lamb have to be fresh or can I use frozen that I bought at the store?

 

[boydster]

Does drinking wit really make you smarter?

 

[davekippen]

"I read that I need to drink IPA's fresh, so I cooled my wort and drank it. Im not feeling any alcohol effects, WTH?"

 

[hillybilly]

I got a Mr. Beer and the Keg is plastic instead of wood will I able to still make Bud Light

 

[DrunkleJon]

I am trying to oak my beer but cannot get the acorns to sprout.

 

[gcdowd]

Trying to clone a beer. When do I add the chromosomes?

 

[drainbamage]

Where do I find Indian hops to make an IPA?

 

[Arg1129]

Done two extract kits, now building a 3bbl nano! Thoughts on marketing?

 

[sloanfamilydsm]

Somebody keeps stealing the vodka from my airlocks!! Do they make a lockable airlock?

 

[hillybilly]

I love beer but hate hops can I make beer without hops

 

[sloanfamilydsm]

If I can mash at 155 for 45 min, why can't I mash at 170 for 30 min, do a 10 min single batch sparge, boil for 20 min at 20 ibu bittering and wrap it all up in under an hour?

 

[russrob81]

Looking to make a lawn mower beer with grass clippings aroma. How many pounds of clippings do I need

 

[hillybilly]

My beer taste like grass is this caused by the green pellets I added at 60, 45, and 15 mins

 

[boydster]

Beer sucks.

 

[m_c_zero]

Beer sucks.

We got a winner!

 

[Swarley88]

Here's the thread for those that missed it:
https://www.homebrewtalk.com/f45/forgot-key-ingredient-does-matter-much-280208/

Instant classic.

Hahahaha also I want an unique taste so I want to add apples and bananas, should I add those now? Haha what a good laugh.

 

[Glynn]

Skipped fermenter and put wort and yeast straight into bottles. Okay?

LOL. Sadly i know someone at work who did that once.....once

 

[boydster]

In all hobesty ( plz nobovy get mad)

...sorry I just couldn't resist...

 

[gcdowd]

In all hobesty ( plz nobovy get mad)

...sorry I just couldn't resist...

Haha I just read that thread this morning. Instant classic

Edit: and who buys a premium membership just to troll?

 

[splattsmier]

My name is mikedavid00. I've learned my lesson. Can I come back to HBT please?

I missed this fiasco, so I spent the last couple hours Google-ing and YouTube-ing; wow. Funny stuff. A part of me wishes I had made it into the hobby to catch the "Cooper's scandal."

Okay, back on topic...

 

[Laughing_Gnome_Invisible]

Milk stout. Would it be even better if I used my wife's breast milk rather than pasteurized?