Beer Advocate Reviews..

[InityBrew]

Really?!?! This grinds my gears..

Modus Hoperandi

"We crack the tabs and pour a brew of rich amber honey into our Great Lakes pints. It holds a two finger head of cream colored cakey bubbles, showing good retention. Honeycomb lacing is left around the glasses as it slowly bubbles away like a stew. No haze or sediment is noted, and carbonation appears to be medium. The aroma is big, with spicy grapefruity, earthen, and herbal hops, deeply toasted caramel and pale malts, dried oregano, honey, lemon iced tea, and soft fruity apricot. With warmth comes soft bubblegum juiciness, enhanced earth, dirt, and dust, and faint fruitiness of passion fruit. Our first impression is that the flavoring is just as deep and spicy as you would expect from that nose, with brightness, freshness, and fullness. As we sip, the taste opens with vegetal bite of zucchini and radishes, with citric, earthy, and lightly piney hops. To mix are bittered pales, baker’s yeast, black pepper booziness, tannic lemon tea, and cooked brown sugar sweetness. Coming to the peak are notes of dirty earthiness of hops, bittered grapefruity rind, apricot sweetness, tobacco leafiness, more fusel booziness, and under ripe strawberry fruitiness. The finish comes with bite of graphite, light woodiness, fresh dill, faint bubblegum esters, syrupy caramel malts, nectary hops, and freshly pulled lemongrass. The aftertaste breathes bitterly of kale leafiness, mineral, newspaper inkiness, more bittered pales, more peppery booze, hop bitterness of citric rind and herbal grassiness, solid plastics, and biting English breakfast tea. The body is medium, and the carbonation is medium. There is nice slurp, smack, cream, and froth to each sip, with an oily coating all around the mouth. This gives way to boozy dryness and pucker. The abv is appropriate, and the beer drinks very easily.

Overall, what we enjoyed most about this beer was its robustness and fullness of flavoring for a “single” IPA. From the nose you can tell this guy is going to be huge. The hops are heavy, syrup-laden cones, while the malts are dark, toasty, and sweet in their own cereal way. The sip is everything you would expect, striking an even, refreshing blend. The bitterness is strong, however, and it is easy to see why this might defer the faint of heart. With a soft slurp to back it up, this guy lives up to the hype, and would certainly become a fridge sippin’ for us if it were in our market."

Sorry if I offended any one, BUT THIS IS UNBELIEVABLE.. ARE YOU ****ING SERIOUS?!?

 

[iceemone]

I'm leaning towards someone with an awesome sense of humor poking fun at some of the reviews on Beer Advocate....Well, I hope that's the case.

 

[InityBrew]

He has 760 reviews and every one is like this.

Either way,.. Does anyone agree that he is one of many who take it to the next level? I love craft beer, but I would not write up something like this.. 760 times

Here is another
.
4.13/5 rDev -2.1%
look: 4.5 | smell: 4 | taste: 4 | feel: 4.5 | overall: 4.25

We crack the cage and cork, pouring a brew of rich, ruby mahogany into our Founders snifters. It holds a three finger head of creamy, cakey orange-tinged cream, showing wonderful retention. This pops away at a slow pace, leaving thick and cratered lacing around the glass as it goes. A thick chill haze is noted, with no sediment. Carbonation appears to be slow and mild. The nose is rich with caramel and pale malt roast, sweet toast, and thick and sticky buttery diacetyls. Toffees, molasses depth, dirty saltiness, crystallized ginger, wet cornmeal, light metallics, softer milk chocolates, fresh cotton, floral hops, light booziness, vegetal tomatoes, and crumbly, biscuity warmth round things off. Our first impression is that it is nowhere near as sweet as you would expect, with the resiny, green qualities of the hops drying us out more than any other beer in recent memory. As we sip, the taste opens with rich caramel sweetness, plum and raisin sugars, heavy buttery diacetyls, spicy herbal hop bite, phenolic plastics, black pepper, green grassiness, and spicy fumes of alcohol. Peaking is a blend of toasted marshmallow sweetness, continued butters, vinyl, spicy booze, herbal and green bark hoppiness, resiny sap, maple sugars, clovey phenols, and biting oaky musk. The end comes with the bitterness of mustard greens, thick caramel sugars, tannic dryness, nectary hop sugars, plum, light roast and smoke of cooked caramels, corny adjuncts, clean brown sugars, dusty pale malts, and PCV piping plastics. The aftertaste breathes of Tootsie Roll sweetness, moderately bittered chocolates, vegetal mineral, graphite, woody mossiness, phenolic plastics, acorn earthiness, herbal and faintly citric hoppiness, gritty roast, fig sugars, honeysuckle, and fusel alcohols. The body is thick and full, and the carbonation is medium, but puts up a hearty froth and cream all around the mouth. Each sip gives fantastic slurp, sip, smack, and pop, and again, generously coats the mouth with foam. This quickly gives way to a resiny, woody, yeasty, bone dryness, sucking all moisture from the lips, tongue, and palate. The abv is appropriate, and the beer sips rather easily.

Overall, what we enjoyed most about this beer was its appearance and its feel. The head remained for what was essentially the entire tasting, leaving foam to lace both the glass and the lip with each sip. This also contributed to the feel, which was happily creamy and frothy at the outset, with insanely drying, resiny slowness left across all of the mouth’s landmarks. The aroma and flavoring were both heavily malt forward at this point in the aging. While this pushed the hoppy balance back a bit, the bulk of the bitterness did, in fact, come from greenness of hops, and the bite of those barrels, despite their lower concentration to the final blend. This beer truly showcased the freshness and bigness of the Sierra Nevada accolades, offering a memory of an anniversary that won’t soon fade.

 

[mattd2]

Maybe he has some sort of script that writes it for him - since both examples are quite similar just with different adjectives, etc.

 

[InityBrew]

That's what I am thinking.. Some sort of beer ****** app.

I want to think it is a joke, but after reading more reviews I think it is real.

But my point was.. Can't we just enjoy a beer because it is good and not because it has a sandlewood, and graphite flavor that coats the tongue like goats milk?

 

[dannypo]

That's what I am thinking.. Some sort of beer ****** app.

I want to think it is a joke, but after reading more reviews I think it is real.

But my point was.. Can't we just enjoy a beer because it is good and not because it has a sandlewood, and graphite flavor that coats the tongue like goats milk?

Why does it bother you that he chooses to critically review the beer he drinks?

 

[CGVT]

Some sort of beer ****** app.

Ha!

 

[Darwin18]

That's what I am thinking.. Some sort of beer ****** app.

That's why I don't bother with beer advocate. Far too many ****** bags out there.

This guys palate is amazing by the way (if he's not entirely full of it). He should sign up for the BJCP tasting exam.

 

[TheZymurgist]

I'm thinking it's a resume. He's probably an aspiring writer, so he finds any opportunity he can to write a review, and points potential employers to them. Way over the top, though. Just because you use flowery language doesn't mean you can communicate.

 

[Homercidal]

The things, you say,
Your purple prose just gives you away.
The things, you say,
You're unbelievable.

 

[Jayhem]

The only reason I check beer advocate is to determine the gravity, ABV% and hops used on a new-to-me craft IPA.

 

[GarageDweller]

I would hate to have a drink with that guy. STFU already. These brand of people find their way into any and everything. Would love to see his taste description of some Milwaukee's Best Light....

 

[CooperBrew]

I would hate to have a drink with that guy. STFU already. These brand of people find their way into any and everything. Would love to see his taste description of some Milwaukee's Best Light....

"We pull the tab on this fine, round top can, pouring a brew of yellow hues, resembling canine urine into our Red Solo cups. It holds a thin head of off white cream, showing wonderful retention until the beer pong ball splashes it majestically across the card table......"

 

[finsfan]

haha that is a great description!

 

[WildGingerBrewing]

"We pull the tab on this fine, round top can, pouring a brew of yellow hues, resembling canine urine into our Red Solo cups. It holds a thin head of off white cream, showing wonderful retention until the beer pong ball splashes it majestically across the card table......"

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Beer Advocate is full of ****** bags like this. This guy seems pretty typical to me.

 

[BinghamtonEd]

Was probably a ****** as a child, as well.

"I poke the straw into the pouch that resembles a Capri Sun. The straw pokes out the other side, causing droplets of the beverage to run down the back and onto the crotch of my pants, giving the impression that I've wet myself. Turns out it is a Capri Sun. Initial taste is of concentrated fruit juice. The fruit juice races around the palette. As I walk through the grocery store, I will list every item I see on the shelf, and say this drink reminds me of that."

 

[GarageDweller]

Profound

 

[passedpawn]

newspaper inkiness. I'll have to remember that one the next time I judge. Sure to confuse.

 

[CreamyGoodness]

I dont know... seems to me like one could look at it and know its a tl;dr and skip it. We don't know, maybe reviewing beers on a beer site is only thing he gets enjoyment out of in his last days of terminal illness...

There's *****ier things one can do than try to write a book about the beer he just drank.

 

[GrogNerd]

There's *****ier things one can do than try to write a book about the beer he just drank.

none spring to my mind

 

[CreamyGoodness]

I make it a point of never reading Grog's posts whilst drinking anything. You make me snort bro.

 

[dannypo]

none spring to my mind

How about bitching about somebody's review on beer advocate. That's pretty *****ie.

 

[mattd2]

Why does it bother you that he chooses to critically review the beer he drinks?

It shouldn't bother anyone, unless he is not actually reviewing the beer and just has verbel diahorea which results in a review that does not actually represent the beer and therefore turns people off. I for one would not "waste" my money on either of those 2 beers based on the reviews alone. By him doing this it is potentially hurting the breweries of the beers that he is reviewing - and for that he is a dick

 

[InityBrew]

It shouldn't bother anyone, unless he is not actually reviewing the beer and just has verbel diahorea which results in a review that does not actually represent the beer and therefore turns people off. I for one would not "waste" my money on either of those 2 beers based on the reviews alone. By him doing this it is potentially hurting the breweries of the beers that he is reviewing - and for that he is a dick

Well said

 

[jbaysurfer]

I laughed pretty hard at this whole thread, but I have to say, in the end, if his palate can truly differentiate the tastes he describes, then he has an uber-palate (which I'm sure he'd describe more eloquently then I). So for that one unlikely possibility, I'll refrain from assuming he's a d-bag.

But yeah, that sort of thing is exactly why I always roll my eyes when somebody touts a beer advocate rating on a beer to me, even though secretly I always look up my favorite beers on beer advocate to justify my opinions...and they usually do.

 

[mattd2]

I laughed pretty hard at this whole thread, but I have to say, in the end, if his palate can truly differentiate the tastes he describes, then he has an uber-palate (which I'm sure he'd describe more eloquently then I). So for that one unlikely possibility, I'll refrain from assuming he's a d-bag.

But yeah, that sort of thing is exactly why I always roll my eyes when somebody touts a beer advocate rating on a beer to me, even though secretly I always look up my favorite beers on beer advocate to justify my opinions...and they usually do.

Yep, the thing is the guy seems to be rating the beer (at least the first one) reasonbably close to the overall score so he souldn't be affecting the numbers much. This is another reason why I don't think he is actually reviewing the beer as I would expect a beer that has "newspaper inkiness / solid plastics / graphite" to be scored pretty low

 

[GrogNerd]

How about bitching about somebody's review on beer advocate. That's pretty *****ie.

I was joking with Creamy

what's your excuse?

 

[inflictor-of-grimness]

I sometimes write reviews on BA, but I like to keep them fairly simple.

If your beer tastes like radishes, you should either drainpour it or put the bong down

 

[InityBrew]

I was joking with Creamy

what's your excuse?

Maybe it was his review..

 

[Kyle1111]

I wonder who he is refering to when he says "we"... Does the guy write the reviews with his wife or something? Oh dear lord imagine the conversation those two have over breakfast.... "We crack the eggs and........"

 

[Airborneguy]

There's no way in hell anyone has a palate that well developed. Who the hell knows what graphite tastes like anyway? Oh wait, I know, that weirdo kid we all went to school with who was always sticking things up his nose.

That said, come out wherever you are bro and defend yourself!

 

[BinghamtonEd]

I wonder who he is refering to when he says "we"... Does the guy write the reviews with his wife or something? Oh dear lord imagine the conversation those two have over breakfast.... "We crack the eggs and........"

Hahaha. For some reason, this makes me think of Buffalo Bill from Silence of the Lambs. "It posts a review on beer advocate, or else it gets the hose again." I can totally see this guy looking like that character.

 

[GrogNerd]

Hahaha. For some reason, this makes me think of Buffalo Bill from Silence of the Lambs. "It posts a review on beer advocate, or else it gets the hose again." I can totally see this guy looking like that character.

"do you wanna EFF me? I'd EFF me"

 

[CreamyGoodness]

There's no way in hell anyone has a palate that well developed. Who the hell knows what graphite tastes like anyway? Oh wait, I know, that weirdo kid we all went to school with who was always sticking things up his nose.

That said, come out wherever you are bro and defend yourself!

*raises hand* sigh

 

[GrogNerd]

*raises hand* sigh

i knew it!

 

[BinghamtonEd]

*raises hand* sigh

So, do you still shove weird things up your nose?

 

[CreamyGoodness]

occassionally I will shove batteries us there and shout "INFINITE ENERGY!" My wife hates that btw.

 

[CreamyGoodness]

All seriousness though Im a nervous guy and have been since I was a kid. I'll chew chopsticks, coffee stirrers, toothpics, pencils... whatever.

 

[BinghamtonEd]

Same here. I can still vividly remember chewing a pen in Mr. Venner's 6th grade science class and having it explode in my mouth, and having to go to the nurse with ink pouring out of my mouth and down the front of me. I was that kid.

Glad to know I'm in good company.