The Dysfunctional-Palooza Obnoxious Masshole BS Thread

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Smoked salt.



I would knock an old lady down to get to that stuff. It's that good!

Not my mother.

Cape's mother! Sure. I haven't seen that biatch since she and little Cape hopped on that camel and headed off out of both my life and the Gobi Desert . I'd knock her down in a NY second just for practice.

But smoked salt? F'ing A, that's good sheet.
 
Well, I'm boned.

The_Wife is flying out of the country this afternoon, heading over to Italy without me so she can go to some translation school (and to smoke some weed with her brother in Amsterdam).

So, I'm doing the single-parent thing for the next two and a half weeks. Ugh.

I told her, all I've got to do is throw away half my paycheck and it's like a trial run for being divorced. She wasn't amused.
 
Bird, she's got no intention of ever finishing that dissertation. Why should she?

"Ya, I need to go to Italy to learn the nuances of 14th century Florence dialects. You and the kids aren't coming. And I'm spending five stoned days in Amsterdam on the way hone. Oh BTW, I cleaned out the checking account, put some money in there or the check I wrote for these five pairs of new shoes bounces."

"Uh. Ok. Hey when you get back I'd like to go out to Boston to spend an afternoon on PTN's boat."

"Are you out if your mind? We can't afford that. Gas is $3.50/gallon!"

"Oh right. What was I thinking?"
 
She better get done soon - I'm looking to start an MBA in about fifteen months!

EDIT: Also, spending afternoon stuck with you, miles out on the ocean... nah, think I'll pass.
 
Nah... This is stupid. I'm going back to nuking the U thread. I think it bugs yeager.
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Thats like bangin a dead hooker and bragging about how good you are at picking up women.


(Ding ding ding!!!!! That was a successful work-in of "dead-hooker"!!!)

(Taking a bow)
 
There is a decided lack of participation on this thread over the weekends. If it wasn't such a ridiculous assumption someone might think some of you f-tards just sit in here while you're supposed to be working and go away to lives and families on the weekend.
 
It's got to be convenient, though. I mean, if I want to look up my retirement accounts, I've got to log into my computer and put in my password and all that. Paulie just needs to look out the window to see what remains of his 401(k).

Paulie, one word of advice. When your little mid-life crisis here bleeds the last dime from your checking account and the bank repo's your house, I would *not* recommend sleeping in the boat; people might think you're a terrorist.
 
Laugh it up biatches...

Fully brewery-funded expansion likely comin' soon... That's right... cash money rollin' in, bustin' out walls, and makin' more beahs...

While Ducksauce sits collecting pollen... as Paulie's cash get lit on fire in little bunches.
 
While we've had a half dozen sea trials, including a quick dive trip to Outer Brewster that resulted in a mere half dozen bugs, the official start of the season is this weekend. I've been busy, built a bench for three to gear up on, built a mount for a 6' dive flag, and got the name on her.

Laugh all you want, biatches. I'm writing down names and will remember who laughed when its 100 degrees this summer.

image-1458381336.jpg


image-1398288749.jpg
 
Yeah, we saw the super fantastic bench already.

Remember?

"Oh, I banged four pieces of wood together and whammo! A bench! It holds three divers and six tanks"

Then I responded, "or half a Paul". Remember? Old age is a btch huh?

1) if when it hits 100 degrees I'll jump in the pool, not suck deisel fuel for an hour as that thing chugs along at half a knot.
And 2) who did the name on the boat for you?? What did they use? A sharpie?
 
paulthenurse said:
While we've had a half dozen sea trials, including a quick dive trip to Outer Brewster that resulted in a mere half dozen bugs, the official start of the season is this weekend. I've been busy, built a bench for three to gear up on, built a mount for a 6' dive flag, and got the name on her.

Laugh all you want, biatches. I'm writing down names and will remember who laughed when its 100 degrees this summer.
Click to expand...

I'm no economist, but I'm pretty sure six lobsters at a time aren't gonna return much on that investment over time.
 

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