What about hooking a hose to the spigot on a bucket and the other end a disconnect and attach to the out line of the keg. Maybe crack the lid or maybe you could get enough air in through the airlock hole so it will siphon out. I know it wouldn't be a closed transfer but would save time having...
Just go to Home Depot or lowes and buy a 12 point 7/8 wrench.
http://www.homedepot.com/p/Husky-7-8-in-12-Point-SAE-Full-Polish-Combination-Wrench-HCW78/202916153
I've been doing research on this as well. Here is a thread with some good info in it. I have a keg showing up tomorrow and plan on dry hopping in it.
https://www.homebrewtalk.com/showthread.php?t=574139
You could save a little money building some stuff yourself as well. Build your own mash tun, immersion chiller, stuff like that. You might be able to save a few dollars and it's also fun. There are a ton of posts on here about how to build this stuff on your own.