Im recently married. I have a few suggestions in planning the wedding.
1) Choose 1 thing you think is important, i.e. the beer. Have lots of input on the beer and talk about it every so often. You want to let her know you are interested in how the day comes out, but you want to avoid pitfulls such as being critical of her taste in chair covers. Do not, under any circumstances, agree to attend the flower consultation.
2) You are most likely not choosing what you are wearing. It is unlikely that anything you choose will match her motif and will need to be changed anyway. Limit your input to vague statements like "I dont know, red maybe?" and "Nah, I dont want a cumberbund" and you should be fine.
3) Prepare thyself, you have way more friends and family than you could ever imagine.
4) You are going to be nervous. You are NOT the person who should be responsible for holding on to the rings.
5) Your new mother-in-law is the person to go to if any of the guests make unreasonable demands.
6) Unless you or your new wife have children currently, adhere strickly to a "no children under 18" rule. They dont want to be there, and you dont want them there.
7) Day of, someone WILL offer you a drink before you get to the alter "for your nerves". Decline. Think its not a big deal? When your wife finds out you are toast.
1. Great advice. I was married last October and I took control of the bar and the band. Awesome party and she felt like I was involved and helping out.
3 & 6. These are together. I tried to find as many ways to have people say that they could not come while still inviting them, as possible. This is only a slight exaggeration. Much of the cost of the wedding is per person and that person you have not seen in a decade is not that important, family or otherwise. 6 is HUGE. Why throw an adult party so that the dance floor is choked up by little kids. Sure there is a cute moment now and again, but overall DO THIS!!!!!
The others points are quality too.
Something I would add, if someone has an opinion that is not your fiancee and is not footing any part of the bill then their opinion is 100% disposable. Seriously, please your wife to be, yourself and your parents. Everyone else needs to work around you and your ideas, needs and wants.*
*This is not meant to be an excuse to throw out quality advice if it is provided. Also by your "ideas, etc." I mean your fiancees, get used to not having an opinion. Ever again.
As for my proposal, I planned a happy hour at a nicer restaurant with a group of friends that we regularly do happy hour with, then without any of them knowing it (or what I was planning), I asked a bunch of my rugby buddies to show up earlier and sat them in the back of the restaurant out of sight.
I planned it with the restaurant and at a set time had 11 of my friends walk up to my wife one at a time and hand her a rose, the 12th person was her best friend, which she loved as a special touch, and then I asked on bended knee. She said yes and everyone in the restaurant applauded. I heard a guy at a nearby table saying that I now had to top that for the rest of my life and laughed a bit inside. It was a pretty sweet plan and worked to a 'T'. I also had a buddy who is a photographer shoot the event.
I will say one thing, it is hard to plan a surprise proposal when you live with your girlfriend. That was half the reason for the elaborate plan.
