First Hort WHOPPING

I like to whop my hort as soon as it comes out of the sea!!!!!

Damned ugly, slimy buggars!
WHOP!!!!!! "Take that!!" WHOP WHOP!

Random Dude asks, "What are you doing????? Those things are on the endangered list!"

ME says, "Eff you DUDE!!!!! I always whop the first 3 eyed Hort of the season!!! Stand back or get a whopping yer own damned self!!!!!"

I whop my hort when nobody is watching.

Yes, yes. I like a little privacy myself....especially when the Hort starts to SCREAM and beg!

What's taters?

PO TAY TOES. Go nice with a brace of conies.....

Boil em, mash em, stick em in a stew.

"Some lovely golden chips..."
Wait, can I still whop a hort or 2? And aren't the Italians going to feel bad?

gratus fermentatio said:

"Some lovely golden chips..."
Wait, can I still whop a hort or 2? And aren't the Italians going to feel bad?

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Whopping Horts pre-dates Italy.

D'tubius of Descarius is credited with whopping the first Hort in 465 BC

He was walking along the shore in Ghana (africa) when the first malformed Hort came flopping out of the ocean screeching a pleasant greeting and good wishes for D'tubius' genitals.

Misunderstanding, D'tubius whopped the thing with his dick until dead.

He is rumored to have lived happilly ever after. That is why I first hort whop.

I just want to be happy!

I'm still waiting on Cabela's Hort Whoppers: Deadliest Hunt 2013 for the Wii. I heard it was delayed.

Krovitz said:

I'm still waiting on Cabela's Hort Whoppers: Deadliest Hunt 2013 for the Wii. I heard it was delayed.

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I know! How silly. Just because you WHOP them with your penis......

cheezydemon3 said:

I know! How silly. Just because you WHOP them with your penis......

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Great, another controller I'll have to purchase for the Wii.

I hope it's released for the Xbox connect then.

landshark said:

Great, another controller I'll have to purchase for the Wii.

I hope it's released for the Xbox connect then.

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It is not a full controller. It is just an attachment for the wiimote....kind of like the mario kart wheel, only it is a giant foam phallus into which you insert a wiimote and your junk.

So the same remote attachment for their remake of Custer's Revenge should work then correct?

landshark said:

So the same remote attachment for their remake of Custer's Revenge should work then correct?

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Well....I guess if you want to bore a hole big enough for your junk..

The light saber attachment from the prequel game "EFFING KILL Jar Jar's Mom So he Don't Get BORN" might fit a little better.

In charge of making whoppets?

cheezydemon3 said:

It is not a full controller. It is just an attachment for the wiimote....kind of like the mario kart wheel, only it is a giant foam phallus into which you insert a wiimote and your junk.

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The rumor mill has it on friend-of-a-friend authority that they're working on a Seabiscuit Edition remote: so you can play multiplayer against your pet horse, mule, or very privileged goat.

Tex said:

The rumor mill has it on friend-of-a-friend authority that they're working on a Seabiscuit Edition remote: so you can play multiplayer against your pet horse, mule, or very privileged goat.

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I have seen the prototype!


It is called duct tape........


(all this FINE nonsensical because I got tired of seeing FWH threads)

Come to think of it....the Shel Sylverstein thread and memories of Runny Babbit probably get some credit.

So just when is Hort Whopping Day? Or is it just called "Whopping Day"?
I might just have some horts that needs a good whoppin'!

gratus fermentatio said:

So just when is Hort Whopping Day? Or is it just called "Whopping Day"?
I might just have some horts that needs a good whoppin'!

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There are Horts in Montana?

I haven't seen any here in the Missouri area. I was hoping on the video game version as doing some real whopping is out of the question for me unless I take a vacation to a more coastal area.

landshark said:

There are Horts in Montana?

I haven't seen any here in the Missouri area. I was hoping on the video game version as doing some real whopping is out of the question for me unless I take a vacation to a more coastal area.

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He has this giant saltwater swimming pool under his house where he farms Ahi Tuna, Snow Crab, and Horts (It is frigging AWESOME but don't ask me Why TF he has Horts....maybe we are about to find out)

I never set out to farm horts, they just sorta showed up. At 1st they were kinda cute, but then they got bigger & started to multiply...
Now they're all over the place, in the cupboards, in the drawers, in the sugar jar; oh man, there's a couple climbing up my leg right now & I think I can see one peeking out of my girlfriend's blouse! Whopping day or not, Ima gonna whop me some o' these hyar horts!

gratus fermentatio said:

I never set out to farm horts, they just sorta showed up. At 1st they were kinda cute, but then they got bigger & started to multiply...
Now they're all over the place, in the cupboards, in the drawers, in the sugar jar; oh man, there's a couple climbing up my leg right now & I think I can see one peeking out of my girlfriend's blouse! Whopping day or not, Ima gonna whop me some o' these hyar horts!

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Yeah, that is why they must be whopped. In captivity the multiply sexually and asexually.

For a nice rare tuna steak and snowcrab dinner, I'd be willing to pop over and whop a fair number for you.