CreamyGoodness
Well-Known Member
I'm weird. I have come to grips with it. I have always felt not quite part of society but just off to the left of it. As such, people around me seem to take great joy in a multitude of activies that I personally dislike to varying degrees. On the other hand, I have a great number of hobbies and interests that no one seems to enjoy. It takes all types I suppose. If you are a huge proponent of any of these activities, good for you... not trying to insult you.
Walking. I dont mean using your legs to get from one place to another, I mean a leisurely stroll with no destination in mind. Horrid. Also, people like to do this two and three abreast so I cant get around them. Just the thought of this is making me angry.
The Park. This is the perfect mixture of rag-weed allergies and walking slowly without a destination. No thank you. Unless of course there is BBQ. I'll do just about anything legal for BBQ.
Watching/Listening to political pundits. If I agree with you, this is a waste of time since I'm not learning anything. If I disagree with you, this is a waste of time since I know you are either lying or a moron. Either way, no thank you.
The opera. Last time I spent $100 or whatever it was to sit about a mile up from the stage. I hate heights to almost psychotic levels, so this was no fun. The performance went on and on and since I wanted to be "cultured" I suffered through it. Then intermission came, and my now ex-girlfriend on my left and her friend on my right start sharing sexual conquest stories. If anyone is interested I am apparently somewhat related by injection to one of the actors from Law and Order. I sat through what seemed like another 3 hours of very large men belting out in German (which I dont speak) and seething. Sidenote, I tried breaking up with her that night, but she refused. Not sure how that works, but it did. Anyway, screw opera.
Baseball games. Like watching flies fornicate. Sometimes there is a few short seconds of excitement but for the most part its a lot of sitting and spending a thousand dollars on bad beer. Also, on the way out, people are ********. Not my thing. The ex's dad spent an awful lot of money on tickets for us, so I had to act interested the whole time.
Karaoke. God why? My wife adores karaoke. She is a classically trained singer and doesnt get to use the pipes all that often. I just see it as a way to embarrass myself in front of strangers. I have a tinny, nasal, annoying voice and I dont hate any of these strangers enough to subject them to it. Also, everyone else who isnt my wife cannot sing. I usually drink beer and cringe until my wife gets the microphone, and then I drink beer and cheer.
Driving. I havent driven in almost a decade and Ive never been so happy. Not only am I a terrible driver, everyone else around me is worse. I have actually burst blood vessels yelling at people. No thanks. And those people who like to take a leisurely drive around the neighborhood to see the sights are anathema to me. This is walking slowly without a destination, just with a couple thousand pounds of steel and plastic.
Going to clubs. Ok, I am going to have to be blunt here. There was a reason we used to stand on line for hours dressed like a peacock only to be spoken rudely to by a trained gorilla with a clipboard and then spend $9 on a friggin bottle of Beck's. Now that I am married, that is off the table. No thanks.
Topless/Exotic Dancers. Similar to the above, only so much worse. Not only is it scintillation without satisfaction, but you get to see not only ******** but normal guys who are on their worst behavior. Ever see a lion eyeing up a herd of gazelle? Same thing. No thanks.
That'll get us started. What say you?
Walking. I dont mean using your legs to get from one place to another, I mean a leisurely stroll with no destination in mind. Horrid. Also, people like to do this two and three abreast so I cant get around them. Just the thought of this is making me angry.
The Park. This is the perfect mixture of rag-weed allergies and walking slowly without a destination. No thank you. Unless of course there is BBQ. I'll do just about anything legal for BBQ.
Watching/Listening to political pundits. If I agree with you, this is a waste of time since I'm not learning anything. If I disagree with you, this is a waste of time since I know you are either lying or a moron. Either way, no thank you.
The opera. Last time I spent $100 or whatever it was to sit about a mile up from the stage. I hate heights to almost psychotic levels, so this was no fun. The performance went on and on and since I wanted to be "cultured" I suffered through it. Then intermission came, and my now ex-girlfriend on my left and her friend on my right start sharing sexual conquest stories. If anyone is interested I am apparently somewhat related by injection to one of the actors from Law and Order. I sat through what seemed like another 3 hours of very large men belting out in German (which I dont speak) and seething. Sidenote, I tried breaking up with her that night, but she refused. Not sure how that works, but it did. Anyway, screw opera.
Baseball games. Like watching flies fornicate. Sometimes there is a few short seconds of excitement but for the most part its a lot of sitting and spending a thousand dollars on bad beer. Also, on the way out, people are ********. Not my thing. The ex's dad spent an awful lot of money on tickets for us, so I had to act interested the whole time.
Karaoke. God why? My wife adores karaoke. She is a classically trained singer and doesnt get to use the pipes all that often. I just see it as a way to embarrass myself in front of strangers. I have a tinny, nasal, annoying voice and I dont hate any of these strangers enough to subject them to it. Also, everyone else who isnt my wife cannot sing. I usually drink beer and cringe until my wife gets the microphone, and then I drink beer and cheer.
Driving. I havent driven in almost a decade and Ive never been so happy. Not only am I a terrible driver, everyone else around me is worse. I have actually burst blood vessels yelling at people. No thanks. And those people who like to take a leisurely drive around the neighborhood to see the sights are anathema to me. This is walking slowly without a destination, just with a couple thousand pounds of steel and plastic.
Going to clubs. Ok, I am going to have to be blunt here. There was a reason we used to stand on line for hours dressed like a peacock only to be spoken rudely to by a trained gorilla with a clipboard and then spend $9 on a friggin bottle of Beck's. Now that I am married, that is off the table. No thanks.
Topless/Exotic Dancers. Similar to the above, only so much worse. Not only is it scintillation without satisfaction, but you get to see not only ******** but normal guys who are on their worst behavior. Ever see a lion eyeing up a herd of gazelle? Same thing. No thanks.
That'll get us started. What say you?
