Input: Was she really checking me out?

Ok. I need some input. Just to see if I really did observe what I thought I did. And where better than to seek it than where an assortment of folks with vaired experiences may shine some light upon my quandry?

So we were out of town for the weekend and opted for pizza. I go in to pick it up, and then an odd thing happened. The friendly smile and standard cordial greeting from the lass at the counter--was different.

Now to be honest I am not the most observant sort when it comes to subtle things. However, there was just something that caught me off guard the way she seemed to be looking at me. Like made me slightly self-conscious.

She certainly is an attractive young woman, and that was about all I thought of things when I saw her as I walked in. Aside from being engaged, I'm not that into blondes, and generally prefer a gal with some meat on her bones to turn my head, in this case far more. So I don't think it's all in my head, as I hadn't any interest.

I don't have any experience processing these sorts of encounters. I'm a geek through and through. I'm still combating shyness. And I used to be quite over weight. Like when I see old pics of myself my first thought is "omg, why didnt anyone tell me". So being eyed by anyone wasn't really a thought I ever had much.

Yet here I am, with a situation that distinctly stands out against all others of the same variety, including those with women I did find personally attractive.

Soooooo, thoughts? Is it all in my head? Are there any subtle clues I should try to recall?

In the past, my fiance had pointed me being checked out a couple of times. But I can't really seek her female input in this case. Mostly because I'm still slimming down and have begun working out, and sometimes she's a bit self-conscious about that.

And the only reason I'm really stuck on this "experience" is simply because I'd like to know it wasn't just my imagination.

Why are you getting married? You're obviously too hot to be taken off the market. Think of all the broken hearts.

Not to be harsh, but grow up. you start worrying about 17 year old girls at the pizza joint checking you out and you won't be married for long.

In my experiences easiest way to know if someone is into you is to talk to them. If they're reciprocating your energy, mimicking your body language, and many other small things odds are they're digging you in some way.

If in doubt... She checked you out... That's my motto and because I'm married and don't have to worry about that stuff, I'm pretty sure I'm hot sheet. I'm just sayin... You must be too!

Probably...I have really long hair, when it is down I seem to mimic a rock star well enough with my leather and jeans to get a lot of double takes from the ladies of a certain type. There is someone for everyone out there I believe.

That being said, you are not even in the first inning of marriage. If you were compelled enough to post this on a semi public forum, you might want to take a long hard look inward as to what is motivating you to want to marry the one to whom you are betrothed.

I am not saying you are a bad person at all, but sometimes we too get caught up in the excitement of the moment to appreciate the real motivations for the action. This applies to more than just marriage... buying a house, a car, a new brew setup...all but the last can lead to headaches in the future (well, maybe the last one too ) if we don't take the time to really evaluate our motivations for doing something so life changing.

PanzerBanana said:

Ok. I need some input. Just to see if I really did observe what I thought I did. And where better than to seek it than where an assortment of folks with vaired experiences may shine some light upon my quandry?

So we were out of town for the weekend and opted for pizza. I go in to pick it up, and then an odd thing happened. The friendly smile and standard cordial greeting from the lass at the counter--was different.

Now to be honest I am not the most observant sort when it comes to subtle things. However, there was just something that caught me off guard the way she seemed to be looking at me. Like made me slightly self-conscious.

She certainly is an attractive young woman, and that was about all I thought of things when I saw her as I walked in. Aside from being engaged, I'm not that into blondes, and generally prefer a gal with some meat on her bones to turn my head, in this case far more. So I don't think it's all in my head, as I hadn't any interest.

I don't have any experience processing these sorts of encounters. I'm a geek through and through. I'm still combating shyness. And I used to be quite over weight. Like when I see old pics of myself my first thought is "omg, why didnt anyone tell me". So being eyed by anyone wasn't really a thought I ever had much.

Yet here I am, with a situation that distinctly stands out against all others of the same variety, including those with women I did find personally attractive.

Soooooo, thoughts? Is it all in my head? Are there any subtle clues I should try to recall?

In the past, my fiance had pointed me being checked out a couple of times. But I can't really seek her female input in this case. Mostly because I'm still slimming down and have begun working out, and sometimes she's a bit self-conscious about that.

And the only reason I'm really stuck on this "experience" is simply because I'd like to know it wasn't just my imagination.

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If you think you were getting checked out, you were! Pay attention, and you'll probably notice more looks. But... it's flattering and all, but enjoy it for what it is and let it roll right on over your head. I'm sure you've given out a few looks in your day. It's nice to notice and be noticed, just don't jeopardize relationships over it. Keep up your healthy habits and make your lady feel like the luckiest woman in the world.

Your fly was down

Here is my advice, take it or leave it, I have no axe to grind.

I am only going on what you have told us.

Put your marriage on hold with your fiancee. Here is the problem. You are starting to become a different person. It's not really fair to her because in all likelihood, she fell in love with the geeky overweight guy you were, and now that you are changing your looks, you are starting to notice and get noticed by other women, different women. Perhaps your taste in women is also changing. Your tone and way of expressing yourself tells me that you might be better off encountering a few of these other experiences, if for nothing else, so that you don't realize 10 years from now that you are not attracted to someone that you *both* have invested much time, effort and likely children, etc with.

I know this sounds harsh, etc, but I have seen it happen a lot. It very rarely ends up well, and most guys (and gals) stick it out thinking that they can change the person they are with. People rarely change, and when they do (as you are doing it would seem), they often end up stuck, miserable and then do dumb things to get out of the relationship.

Women are like men in that when they see someone who for whatever reason tweaks their hormones right they can be flustered/shy or what have you. They just tend to hide it a bit better. Enjoy it, consider it a compliment and let it go. You are in a committed relationship. Its rarely worth persuing the pizza girl when you have a fiancee.

I call the look bambi eyes as to me it is somewhat of a deer in the headlights, wide eyed look. It took me years to figure it out and it is one of those looks you just have to notice for yourself before you can recognize it. Enjoy the oogling. You can't feel bad because I am certain that unless you are dead you have given that same exact look to a multitude of people in your life. but then again what the hell do I know. I am still a single geek and have plenty of that insecurity to blind me to anything shy of someone dancing nekkid for me. And sometimes even then.

It's because you're engaged. If you think the ladies are taking interest now, just wait til you get married. They will be coming out of the woodwork! They can just sense when I guy is unavailable and they seem to want them so much more!

Or your fly was down.

Your johnson wasn't hanging out was it when you walked in there ?.............

she probably wanted a tip. girls love to give the look when tipping is involved. sometimes, I tell them that I will only give them the tip. We all know whats really going to happen though.

Um...I was just wondering if I may have saw the "look" I thought I did, or If any may shed light on what such a look may be.

Alco, Sharona, Drunkle J, Thanks. That was the kind of input I was seeking! =) I'm going to choose that it wasn't just my imagination.

Really, I'm more excited about noticing such a look than the fact that there was such a look to notice. It's fun, but--Meh.

For everyone else thanks for the lecturin', but me and my gal have 7 years. She drinks beer, likes how the house smells on brew day, plays WoW with me, and supports my need to watch the new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles every Saturday before we do anything. I got a keeper.

Yet you're on the beer forum talkin to a bunch of beer nerds about chicks diggin you. You're the keeper.

Where I come from we called lecturing straight talk. In such matters, straight talk is more productive than beating around the bush so to speak, and a 500 word essay on a look a pizza slinger gave screams something other than mild flattery in my book.

Like I said, I have no fish to fry here, so best of luck. (keep the fly zipped up next time)

Yeah. My post was wordy cause I was still working it out in my head. Made sense to include info, useful and otherwise.

I just didn't want it to just be my imagination. lol In fact, that's what I would have considered it if she had in fact been someone I personally found attractive, rather than being objectively aware of it.

But now that it seems there may have indeed been a look. I'm good and no longer processing it. lol

Good service at a restaurant often involves mild flirting - that's the way I would take it.

imafreaking said:

Your fly was down

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One of the best first posts I've ever seen. :rockin:

And i second what Homercidal said, just wait 'till you get married!!! Wifey usually tells me when the ladies are flirting with me (namely waitresses, etc-- probably for a tip, but whatever). I have NO clue when it happens either.

For one of the first times ever, I noticed a chick lookin' at me like that. (ironically, at a pizza joint, but she was a customer, not an employee). We smiled a bit at each other, and I thought "yep, if I was single."

Does that make me a bad husband? Absolutely not. Just a man. I don't act on any of the urges.

AlcoSensored said:

If in doubt... She checked you out... That's my motto and because I'm married and don't have to worry about that stuff, I'm pretty sure I'm hot sheet. I'm just sayin... You must be too!

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I roll by that philosophy as well.

Didn't know so many marriages were put into jeopardy by harmless flirting.

Man you guys are a bunch of downers sometimes.

Had OP come on with concerns about his beer, you would have fallen all of yourselves to tell him that beer is best thing ever to touch the lips of man...

OP wants to talk about a pizza girl giving him the eye and you sh*t all over him and his commitment to his marriage.

Jealous much?

Well along those lines: I am so shy and clueless it took her grabbing my rear as I walked by for me to notice and talk to her!

She was looking feel good about it, and kiss your gal!

Oh Yeah, have a BEER!