The Dysfunctional-Palooza Obnoxious Masshole BS Thread

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Cape Brewing said:
Ugg. Again with this? Didn't you go through this schpeel a week ago on that thread? I think sinility is starting to catch up to you.

But enough of that stupid "I started a brewery" story on a brewing forum... Yeah, thats super gay. Let's get back to your super hard core "I bought gas today" story. That sht had me on the edge of my seat.

TELL US Paul!!! WHAT did you do next!?! So you have the gas... THEN what!?!

OMG, if you say, "I drove away", I am gonna LOSE it... Cuz that would be AWESOME.
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Please. You weren't paying attention. He bought the car wash to save money on gas. This is starting to get good. Continue Paul, what happened next.
 
"So then, I pull out of the gas station and where do I go? That's right. Dunkin..... fcking.... Donuts. Who's a badass!?! I go in and i tell the girl, 'gimme a large... With... MILK'. BOOM!!!"
 
DakotaRules said:
Poor Pauly, he'll keep putting pump gas in his boat for a year and never put any marine fuel stabilizer in the damn thing. He'll be out at sea one day the boat will cease up and have to be rescued with 10 people. That will be a funny news story, "Jumbo sized crew rescued while floating for lobstahs. The crew was in no real danger due to their buoyancy"
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"BREAKING NEWS! Nine people arrested on 'dive boat' LobstahSawUs on suspicion of illegal whaling. The charges were later dropped when the supposed 'whale' awoke from its slumber and was revealed to be the ship's drunk captain."
 
It's a strain; he'll be out for a couple of weeks. He looked damn good until the injury, too.

EDIT: They're saying now that it's only inflammation, no tear, and he's probably not even going to make the DL. He's missing his next start, they'll just skip him because there's a day off, then we might see Aceves (aka "Devil Eyes") for a start or two (ugh).
 
365*7+two leap year days - (22 days leftin April and 21 in may) because he joined may 21 2006. Not rocket science.
 
Infection so far on my consecration.

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It's like they WANT me to become an alcoholic. Someone's putting in a 1700-wine, 500-beer (mostly craft) liquor store across the parking lot from work. High-end deli, too, so I won't have to drink on an empty stomach.
 
Niiiiiiice. Always great to walk to your commuter train, glance over to the Amtrack on the next platform, and see the blood smears all over the front of it to go along with the shattered windshield.

Somethin' ain't alive no mo'
 
Cape Brewing said:
Niiiiiiice. Always great to walk to your commuter train, glance over to the Amtrack on the next platform, and see the blood smears all over the front of it to go along with the shattered windshield.

Somethin' ain't alive no mo'
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Poor Yeager. In a weird way I'm going to miss him. What an ugly way to go, skipping down to the train tracks to give a hobo a dollar for three minutes of lovin' and then not hear the train coming as he did. Tragic.
 
paulthenurse said:
Poor Yeager. In a weird way I'm going to miss him. What an ugly way to go, skipping down to the train tracks to give a hobo a dollar for three minutes of lovin' and then not hear the train coming as he did. Tragic.
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I didn't die. Just in icu. She was worth it
 
paulthenurse said:
And don't get your hopes raised being in ICU. Bed baths in ICU aren't the same as bed baths in pornography. I should know. I've both watched and washed a ton.
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And enjoyed them more than you should
 
Good grief, yet another thread for me to waste so much time in? I think not. Wait a minute, I don't invest much in the other, either.
 
AZ, I know you asked the world renowned BBQ eggs-pert,Senior Cape, but I thought you might want something that tastes good so I'm offering this as a suggestion. Brine for a few days in your favorite brine solution but it should have a heavy hand with the garlic and more than several bay leaves. The day before you want to cook remove the briskets from the brine and let them air dry. Then rub them with a 50/50 mix of whole black peppercorns and whole coriander seeds. Toast them individually in a dry frying pan over low heat until they are toasted but in no way scorched. Grind them desperately in a spice grinder/coffee mill. (The coriander will be powder long before the pepper is ground if you do them together so grind separately then combine.). Rub on a GENEROUS layer, wrap in plastic overnight then smoke them low and slow as usual. Do make the mistake of smoking with mesquite. Totally wrong flavor. Ask me how I know that.
 
paulthenurse said:
AZ, I know you asked the world renowned BBQ eggs-pert,Senior Cape, but I thought you might want something that tastes good so I'm offering this as a suggestion. Brine for a few days in your favorite brine solution but it should have a heavy hand with the garlic and more than several bay leaves. The day before you want to cook remove the briskets from the brine and let them air dry. Then rub them with a 50/50 mix of whole black peppercorns and whole coriander seeds. Toast them individually in a dry frying pan over low heat until they are toasted but in no way scorched. Grind them desperately in a spice grinder/coffee mill. (The coriander will be powder long before the pepper is ground if you do them together so grind separately then combine.). Rub on a GENEROUS layer, wrap in plastic overnight then smoke them low and slow as usual. Do make the mistake of smoking with mesquite. Totally wrong flavor. Ask me how I know that.
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Thanks PTN. There's so many recipes out there, the reason I asked Cape is so I know what not to do. ;)
 
AZ_IPA said:
Thanks PTN. There's so many recipes out there, the reason I asked Cape is so I know what not to do. ;)
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Cape does the same thing PTN does, but when he's finished he shoves the brisket inside of a whole chuck roast and repeats steps 1-5.
 
Bomber, you DO realize you're stroking a massively overinflated ego saying **** like that, right? When it goes you won't be able to swallow fast enough to keep from drowning.

And AZ, edit my post to read "grind the spices seperately"not desperitely. The only truly desperite thing around here is Yeager.
 
paulthenurse said:
Bomber, you DO realize you're stroking a massively overinflated ego saying **** like that, right? When it goes you won't be able to swallow fast enough to keep from drowning.
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Like a retahded kid, you've got to give him a pat on the back now and then so he'll keep running in circles with his bicycle helmet.
 
Cape Brewing said:
Sorry Az... was out of commission yesterday and just seeing this now. I can track it down when I get home tonight if you want to do it right.
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Thanks Cape. I'm just curious as to what dry rub you use.

These will be faux-strami anyways; couldn't pass up on some corned beef sales.

I apologize in advance that I'm not slaughtering the cow myself, hacking apart the flats from the points, and curing for 14 days. :eek:
 
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