Random Drunken Thoughts Thread

[balrog]

There are occasional moments when I'm actually happy I'm old

https://www.cnn.com/2024/05/23/tech/elon-musk-ai-your-job/index.html

"While speaking remotely via webcam at VivaTech 2024 in Paris, Musk described a future where jobs would be “optional.”"

Did he?

Did he really?

Or did an AI bot mimicking him say that?

 

[balrog]

Been gettin in a lot of bar fights recently because I don’t think navy seals should be ticklish.

It’s not endearing, it’s a weakness.

 

[Agent]

Alright dishwasher manufacturers.

If you tell us not to pre-rinse dishes, then either your filter better capture all the food particles, or your sprayer arms need to be disassembleable.

This BS of tweezering tomato seeds out of the sprayer arm holes is getting old.

 

[balrog]

Alright dishwasher manufacturers.

If you tell us not to pre-rinse dishes, then either your filter better capture all the food particles, or your sprayer arms need to be disassembleable.

This BS of tweezering tomato seeds out of the sprayer arm holes is getting old.

Truth

 

[BongoYodeler]

Plus, tomato seeds are largely undigestible. Think about that for a moment.

 

[Agent]

We grow beautiful tomato plants everywhere at the wastewater plant.

Don't think about it on pasta night.

 

[GrogNerd]

 

[balrog]

Him: I mowed the lawn today, and after doing so I sat down and enjoyed a cold beer.
The day was really quite beautiful, and the drink facilitated some deep thinking.
Just then, my wife walked by and asked me what I was doing, and I said, "Nothing."
The reason I said "nothing" instead of saying "Just thinking" is because if I’d said that, she then would have asked, "About what?"
At that point I would have had to explain that men are deep thinkers about various topics, which would lead to other questions.
Finally I pondered an age old question: Is giving birth more painful than getting kicked in the nuts? Women always maintain that giving birth is way more painful than a guy getting kicked in the nuts, but how could they know?
Well, after another beer, and some more heavy deductive thinking, I have come up with an answer to that question.
Getting kicked in the nuts is more painful than having a baby, and even though I obviously couldn't really know, here is the reason for my conclusion:
A year or so after giving birth, a woman will often say, "It might be nice to have another child." But you NEVER hear a guy say, "You know, I think I would like another kick in the nuts."
I rest my case.
Time for another beer. Then maybe a nap.

 

[day_trippr]

 

[balrog]

Firefox newsblurbbits seems to know about my hobby. One suggested article:
https://www.ladbible.com/lifestyle/...ctioning-alcoholic-pub-drinks-490561-20240517

"after realising her alcohol ‘intake was sliding out of control’. And she’s now shared a five-question quiz that will reveal if you have a drinking problem yourself."

"This sign is the ‘clincher’ as you ‘consistently and repeatedly’ drink more than you initially intended. Gray advises to think of other ‘consumables in life’ to notice this. “I don't buy a family cheesecake and intend to have one slice and end up having three,” she explained. “Therefore, I have no issue with cheesecake.”"

I've just finished brewing, and a beer, and now I want 3 slices of a family cheesecake.

 

[balrog]

People who tell me to “Go big or go home” seriously underestimate my desire to go home. It’s like my only goal.

 

[balrog]

Doesn't matter how old you are.

Buying car snacks for a road trip should look like an unsupervised 10 year old was turned loose in the grocery store with $100.

[EDIT: okay, maybe $200]

 

[balrog]

There's nothing like a little tomato soup to soothe the soul.

In a glass.

With celery.

And vodka.

 

[VApatriot]

My dad used to drink martinis, and he made them like this: gets glass, adds ice, pours gin into glass, holds glass up to his mouth and very gently whispers the word vermouth over the top of the glass.

Pop that's not a martini, it's just gin on the rocks.

No its not son. How many times do I have to tell you? It's a very, very, very dry martini.

Ah, memories

 

[mac_1103]

gets glass, adds ice, pours gin into glass, holds glass up to his mouth and very gently whispers the word vermouth over the top of the glass

Serves to friend who takes a sip and says, "loud mouth."

 

[GrogNerd]

There's nothing like a little tomato soup to soothe the soul.

In a glass.

With celery.

And vodka.

 

[balrog]

Be careful out there folks.
It’s “drop a house on a witch” weather, and some of y’all don’t need to take any chances.

 

[GrogNerd]

I wonder if the hypocrisy is lost on the stupid hippie with the "Coexist" bumper sticker when he tailgates the person in front of him so I can't merge in from the on-ramp?

 

[balrog]

IF you refill your beer before it's empty (I know, I know, but stay with me here)
It's still one glass of beer.

 

[balrog]

I wonder if the hypocrisy is lost on the stupid hippie with the "Coexist" bumper sticker when he tailgates the person in front of him so I can't merge in from the on-ramp?

I feeling deja vu

 

[GrogNerd]

I feeling deja vu

deja bru

we have all been beer before

 

[Brew_Dude41]

deja bru

we have all been beer before

I thought that was when try a new beer only to realize you have had it before?

 

[GrogNerd]

I feeling deja vu

c'mon... it's been a year. exactly.

Random Drunken Thoughts Thread​

I wonder if the hypocrisy is lost on the stupid hippie with the "Coexist" bumper sticker when he tailgates the person in front of him so I can't merge in from the on-ramp?

• GrogNerd
• Post #1,527
• Jun 2, 2023
• Forum: Drunken Ramblings & Mindless Mumbling

 

[balrog]

You run into this guy quite often.

PS I have a Coexist sticker, but it's not on the "new" car yet, and as it turns out I sometimes drive 81 to visit the fam in E TN

 

[GrogNerd]

didn't know I was being monitored

do others get this level of scrutiny? or am I the only one being stalked?

 

[seatazzz]

Mentioned in another thread, but today I learned that hornets are really stupid. And smell very much bad when they fry on the extremely hot part of the brewstand.

 

[balrog]

didn't know I was being monitored

do others get this level of scrutiny? or am I the only one being stalked?

Tis true my signature is not like someone's which has "scrutinizer" in it, however, here's roughly how it went.

<fade in, half way through first cup of coffee>

scroll

scroll

chuckle

BRAIN: "HEY! You've *SEEN* that before! A repeat funny! Really! Before! Seen!"

Me: "I need more cof..wait, are you sure?"

BRAIN: "Totally. 100% Absolutely. Fairly sure. Almost nearly certain. Maybe you've just had it happen to you recently. Why does your left knee hurt?"

Me: "Fine, I'll type 'deja vu'"

Brain: "That's not how you spell it"

Me: "Shut up"

<does the search>

Me: "A year TO THE DAY ago??!! Whoa!"

<peers outside for incoming meteors, Tremors movie worms, or Scarlett Johansen>

Brain: "That's not how you spell her name"

 

[seatazzz]

Tis true my signature is not like someone's which has "scrutinizer" in it, however, here's roughly how it went.

<fade in, half way through first cup of coffee>

scroll

scroll

chuckle

BRAIN: "HEY! You've *SEEN* that before! A repeat funny! Really! Before! Seen!"

Me: "I need more cof..wait, are you sure?"

BRAIN: "Totally. 100% Absolutely. Fairly sure. Almost nearly certain. Maybe you've just had it happen to you recently. Why does your left knee hurt?"

Me: "Fine, I'll type 'deja vu'"

Brain: "That's not how you spell it"

Me: "Shut up"

<does the search>

Me: "A year TO THE DAY ago??!! Whoa!"

<peers outside for incoming meteors, Tremors movie worms, or Scarlett Johansen>

Brain: "That's not how you spell her name"

Wrong thread. Reported.*


*not really

 

[balrog]

True story.
Acquaintance says, "Vacuuming is such a chore. You have to find the Roomba app and tell it to go and then empty the dust bin all the time."

Me: <waits for 'just kidding' or sign of laughter; receiving none, blink blink blink>

 

[seatazzz]

I want to get a roomba purely for the entertainment value. Which would last about 5 minutes before my dogs destroyed it, but would still be fun.

 

[doug293cz]

didn't know I was being monitored

do others get this level of scrutiny? or am I the only one being stalked?

Be afraid... be very afraid.

Brew on

p.s. Definitely not wearing my mod hat here.